RSS iconTwitter iconFacebook icon

The Trek BBS title image

The Trek BBS statistics

Threads: 137,892
Posts: 5,330,391
Members: 24,555
Currently online: 541
Newest member: berlyn

TrekToday headlines

Retro Review: Inquisition
By: Michelle on Jul 12

Cubify Star Trek 3DMe Mini Figurines
By: T'Bonz on Jul 11

Latest Official Starships Collection Ships
By: T'Bonz on Jul 10

Seven of Nine Bobble Head
By: T'Bonz on Jul 9

Pegg The Prankster
By: T'Bonz on Jul 9

More Trek Stars Join Unbelievable!!!!!
By: T'Bonz on Jul 8

Star Trek #35 Preview
By: T'Bonz on Jul 8

New ThinkGeek Trek Apparel
By: T'Bonz on Jul 7

Star Trek Movie Prop Auction
By: T'Bonz on Jul 7

Drexler: NX Engineering Room Construction
By: T'Bonz on Jul 7


Welcome! The Trek BBS is the number one place to chat about Star Trek with like-minded fans. Please login to see our full range of forums as well as the ability to send and receive private messages, track your favourite topics and of course join in the discussions.

If you are a new visitor, join us for free. If you are an existing member please login below. Note: for members who joined under our old messageboard system, please login with your display name not your login name.


Go Back   The Trek BBS > Star Trek TV Series > The Next Generation

The Next Generation All Good Things come to an end...but not here.

Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old December 3 2011, 08:20 PM   #1
LeadHead
Director of Comedy
 
LeadHead's Avatar
 
Location: Either in the Sirius Sector Block or on the Normandy SR-2
TNG Caption This! 242: Ready, Steady, Go!

Good Saturday to everyone! Hope that you're all doing well. Lets get started!




First up to the plate, we have the "Life's tough sometimes" Award, going to:

Christmas Clark wrote: View Post


Q: "Stop sulking Jean Luc."
Picard: "I'm not sulking."
Q: "Yes you are. What is it?"
Picard: "You never want to cuddle afterwards."

Next, we have the "Impressive Abilities" Award, going to:

Santa Kang wrote: View Post


WORF: Report to the High Council: Have sucessfully exploded a tribble using my mind. Now need to work on distance.

Next, we have the "Futuristic Technology Run Amok" Award, going to:

Mistral wrote: View Post


The Blowjob Steerage System was only popular with a small percentage of the crew...

Next, we have the "Lucky Data" Award, going to:

boco wrote: View Post

After having the emotion chip during the whole away mission with Wesley, at his return on the ship Data went straight to Geordi to remove it

Next, we have the "Don't quit your day job, Jean-Luc" Award, going to:

Schistocerca wrote: View Post

Picard: "Ah number one. At last after many years of exhaustive research I can finally prove my hypothesis that extraterrestrials really suck at doing pottery!"
Our Photoshop Award goes to:

Gary7 wrote: View Post


Poor Worf. That soft fuzzy feeling he felt on his face a couple of nights ago was a "Rabbid Face-hugger". And then today, what he thought was a bit of gagh indigestion turned out to be...




Jonas Grumby wrote: View Post


Q: "Bet you'll never choose 'Dare' again!"

Thanks to all who participated and congrats to all of our winners!

Some news, I'm thinking of creating some new awards, maybe having a rotating Special Award, besides just the Klingon Belly Laugh. I always like to get input from you all, so if you have any suggestions of a new Award, please send me a PM. I'm eager to hear them!











Enjoy!
__________________
Thanks to Nerys Myk for my awesome avatar!

Check out the Caption contests in the TOS, TNG and Movies I-X forums!
LeadHead is offline   Reply With Quote
Old December 3 2011, 08:25 PM   #2
LeadHead
Director of Comedy
 
LeadHead's Avatar
 
Location: Either in the Sirius Sector Block or on the Normandy SR-2
Re: TNG Caption This! 242: Ready, Steady, Go!



Moments later, Lwaxana blew up Betazed.



Security: Our orders are shoot to kill. The Captain will work out a cover story later.



Riker didn't want to hear Barclay's theories on how to communicate with Voyager either.



Worf: "Free Byron." What does that mean Ensign Lyta?



Guinan: And as you can see, when the U.S.S. Incompotent spilled food coloring into space, this is what happened.
__________________
Thanks to Nerys Myk for my awesome avatar!

Check out the Caption contests in the TOS, TNG and Movies I-X forums!
LeadHead is offline   Reply With Quote
Old December 3 2011, 08:46 PM   #3
Holdfast
Procul, O procul este profani!
 
Holdfast's Avatar
 
Location: 17 Cherry Tree Lane
Re: TNG Caption This! 242: Ready, Steady, Go!



LWAXANA: Oh don't worry, Mr Woof, I'm sure I can teleport you into a tux for my ball, just by pressing this button.



In that moment, Wesley suddenly understood what Tasha must have gone through with the rape gangs.



BARCLAY: Three little maids from school are we...
RIKER: ... pert as a schoolgirl well can be...
LA FORGE: I am NOT doing this.



Her two lazy eyes were a really disconcerting trait in a security officer pointing a loading weapon.



GUINAN: I told you my outfit changes colour to match the external environment.
Holdfast is offline   Reply With Quote
Old December 3 2011, 09:32 PM   #4
Jonas Grumby
Vice Admiral
 
Jonas Grumby's Avatar
 
Location: Somewhere in the South Pacific
Re: TNG Caption This! 242: Ready, Steady, Go!

Thanks for the win!



Lwaxana: "Mr. Woof, that crewman you assigned to assist me is insufferable! I want him fired immediately! Oh, wait, here's the 'Fire' button right here!"




Irate Crewman #1: "Keep looking! The little puke can't hide forever!"
Wesley (thinking): "Jeez, it was just a little Photoshop joke!"




Guinan: "You might want to remind the captain, while he's making announcements to the crew that everything is completely normal and there's nothing out of the ordinary to be concerned about, that we have a big, f***ing window down here."
__________________
"There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life: music and cats." - Albert Schweitzer

Last edited by Jonas Grumby; December 4 2011 at 07:09 AM.
Jonas Grumby is offline   Reply With Quote
Old December 4 2011, 12:10 AM   #5
Mysterion
Rear Admiral
 
Mysterion's Avatar
 
Location: SB-31, Daran V
Re: TNG Caption This! 242: Ready, Steady, Go!



GUINAN: Don't be too hasty, Data. We can learn a lot from the Jell-O Nebula here.
__________________
USS Galileo Galilei, NCC-8888
Prima Inter Pares
Mysterion is offline   Reply With Quote
Old December 4 2011, 12:19 AM   #6
Ln X
Fleet Captain
 
Ln X's Avatar
 
Location: The great gig in the sky
Re: TNG Caption This! 242: Ready, Steady, Go!



Lwaxana: Mr Woof-
Worf: That is Worf madam.
Lwaxana: Worf whatever, how do I launch the torpedo at captain Maxwell's ship?
Worf: Why do you ask?
Lwaxana: I sensed that Maxwell was attracted to Picard, you know... I don't want any competition, plus Picard is bisexual-just don't tell him I said that!



Weasley knew the game was up when he broke Starfleet rules about putting on weight, the double chin was a dead give away.



Mr Barclay: Blah blah blah optronics blah blah generator matrix blah blah-
Riker: Mr Barclay I am tired of your whining, either you get my holosuite program running or I'll-
Geordi: Now hold on a minute commander! You can't boss Barclay around like that, other I'll tell the captain about the program where you and Worf jump into a hot tub and make out-
Riker: Alright, alright! Keep your voice down!



Ship's security had to be called out when Riker started chasing Troi around the ship, it was to their greatest horror that they had the misfortune of seeing Riker butt naked, reaking of Lynx spray-on deodorant.



Data: Guinan I am at a loss, I gave her love, I made her happy, and special, in every way... And yet she still left me.
Guinan: (sighs) Data you have much to learn about making a woman happy if you get my drift.
Data: But Guinan I am trained in multiple techniques.
Guinan: Hate to break it to you, but you are the only person in the universe with zero mojo.
Data: Mojo?
Guinan: You see my point? You're clueness, you have as much skill as a Vulcan monk!
__________________
Star Trek: The Approaching Shadow...

Caption contest: DS9
Ln X is offline   Reply With Quote
Old December 4 2011, 01:19 AM   #7
Nerys Myk
Fleet Admiral
 
Nerys Myk's Avatar
 
Location: House of Kang, now with ridges
Re: TNG Caption This! 242: Ready, Steady, Go!



DATA: It looks like Counselor Troi is taking the Transporter Operator's Test again.

GUINAN: I hear she's going for a Pilot's Certification next.
__________________
The boring one, the one with Khan, the one where Spock returns, the one with whales, the dumb one, the last one, the one with Kirk, the one with the Borg, the stupid one, the bad one, the new one, the other one with Khan.
Nerys Myk is online now   Reply With Quote
Old December 4 2011, 02:36 AM   #8
Isis
Commodore
 
Isis's Avatar
 
Re: TNG Caption This! 242: Ready, Steady, Go!



Worf: "Well, I can see where Deanna got her driving skills."





The treatment for Barclay's case of 'jazz hands' was only half successful.





The umpteenth remake of "Charlie's Angels" was no better than the previous remakes.





Data: "It's magnificent."

Guinan: "What's magnificent?"

Data: "The View."

Guinan: "Oh, I agree, especially that Goldberg woman."

Data (to self): "Huh?"
Isis is offline   Reply With Quote
Old December 4 2011, 06:45 AM   #9
captain crow
Fleet Captain
 
captain crow's Avatar
 
Location: Onboard a sliver dog bone shaped satellite in Earth orbit
Re: TNG Caption This! 242: Ready, Steady, Go!


Lwaxana: Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Ooh! Francis! Look! Look!
__________________
"I calculated the odds of this succeeding versus the odds I was doing something incredibly stupid, and I went ahead anyway." - Crow T. Robot, Mystery Science Theater 3000: The Movie
captain crow is offline   Reply With Quote
Old December 4 2011, 06:59 AM   #10
Mr. Laser Beam
Fleet Admiral
 
Mr. Laser Beam's Avatar
 
Location: The visitor's bullpen
View Mr. Laser Beam's Twitter Profile
Re: TNG Caption This! 242: Ready, Steady, Go!



Lwaxana: Mr. Woof! Is this the Pinkie Pie Launcher?
__________________
In labor news: Longshoremen walked off the piers today. Rescue operations are continuing.
Mr. Laser Beam is offline   Reply With Quote
Old December 4 2011, 07:58 AM   #11
Gary7
Rear Admiral
 
Gary7's Avatar
 
Location: Near Manhattan ··· in an alternate reality
Re: TNG Caption This! 242: Ready, Steady, Go!

Thanks for the selection, Leadhead.




Lwaxana: "Oh look Mr. Woof, I see your booty call light is flashing!"




Wesley: (whispering) "OK, practical joke taken too far. Never, never again."

Security guard #1: "Man, if we ever find that kid, I'm going to string him up like a hog."
Security guard #2: "You've gotta admit it though, he was pretty clever using those nanites to create a working replica of your girlfriend."
Security guard #1: "Yeah, but it's what he did with 'it' that really steams me."




Barclay: "Now keep pressing your thumbs into the console, concentrating carefully, and then repeat this phrase about a dozen times: There's no place like home."
LaForge: (thinking) I can't believe he's falling for this...




Worf was proud. Not only did he get selected for the cover of next month's "Phasers and Photons", he got the dead center position.




Guinan: "You're kidding me, right? That's really called the Placenta Nebula?"
__________________
Remembering Ensign Mallory.
Gary7 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old December 4 2011, 12:59 PM   #12
boco
Commodore
 
boco's Avatar
 
Location: Archer's quarters
Send a message via Yahoo to boco
Re: TNG Caption This! 242: Ready, Steady, Go!


Dexter(off screen): Don't touch that button!
__________________
I taut I taw ..a..romulan
boco is offline   Reply With Quote
Old December 4 2011, 12:59 PM   #13
boco
Commodore
 
boco's Avatar
 
Location: Archer's quarters
Send a message via Yahoo to boco
Re: TNG Caption This! 242: Ready, Steady, Go!


Dexter(off screen): Don't touch that button!
__________________
I taut I taw ..a..romulan
boco is offline   Reply With Quote
Old December 4 2011, 01:21 PM   #14
Mojochi
Commodore
 
Mojochi's Avatar
 
Re: TNG Caption This! 242: Ready, Steady, Go!



Lwaxana: My ass! It says right here that he's in the damn holodeck again!



Security Officer #1: Well, I don't see him down here either, but it smells like somebody took a shit



When Riker was drowzy, even Barclay could get a smack in without him knowing it



The peculiar thing was, when the turbolift opened, naked Riker was on their left & Naked Troi was on their right



Guinan: I'd appreciate you mentioning to the captain that I didn't get to be hundreds of years old by hanging around during shit like this
Mojochi is offline   Reply With Quote
Old December 4 2011, 04:00 PM   #15
The Laughing Vulcan
Admiral
 
The Laughing Vulcan's Avatar
 
Location: At The Laughing Vulcan's party...
Re: TNG Caption This! 242: Ready, Steady, Go!



Lwaxana: "Mr Woof, will you please tell me where Captain Picard is?"
Worf: "Madam, I am not authorised to divulge that information. I suggest you ask the ship's computer."
Lwaxana: "I did, it keeps saying it's classified information. I may as well just talk to myself."




Guard 1: "How hard can it be to find one teenager?"
Guard 2: "We've been looking for half an hour now, you got any bright ideas?"
Guard 1: "We go back, get a tricorder, set it to scan for BO, and acne medication."
Guard 2: "Now that's a plan."



Riker: "Um... no... How's it go again?"
Barclay: "Very simple, Commander. E Plebnista..."
Riker: "Why do I have to memorise this?"
LaForge: "It is America Day. As the highest ranking American aboard, you have to lead the celebration."
Riker: "I'm Canadian."
LaForge: "You're from Alaska!"
Riker: "Today I'm Canadian."



The day that Lwaxana Troi finally caught Captain Picard, there was nothing that security could do...



Guinan: "I'm telling you, I saw the starship Reliant out there."
Data: "Improbable."
__________________
"Don't try to live so wise. Don't cry 'cause you're so right.
Don't dry with fakes or fears, 'Cause you will hate yourself in the end."

Anime @ MyReviewer
The Laughing Vulcan is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump



All times are GMT +1. The time now is 07:13 PM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.6
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
FireFox 2+ or Internet Explorer 7+ highly recommended.