Does Anyone Have a Fast Pickup and a Mercenary Team I Can Borrow?

[Locutus of Bored]

Battle over giant emerald returns to LA court

By John Rogers, Associated Press Writer
Updated: 11/09/2010 12:50:41 PM PST

A California man who claims he owns a $400-million giant emerald is sticking to his story in court.

Anthony Thomas of Morgan Hill testified Tuesday before a Los Angeles judge who must determine ownership of the Bahia Emerald.

Thomas claims he bought the 840-pound gem for $60,000 soon after it was dug up in the jungles of Brazil in 2001.

Thomas claims his former business partners stole it before it was shipped to his house and his bill of sale was destroyed in a fire.

But lawyers for people with a competing claim argue that Thomas was just a tourist who had himself photographed with the giant gem.

The Los Angeles County Sheriff's Department is keeping the emerald until its ownership is decided.



This 2008 file photo provided by the Los Angeles County Sheriff's Department shows the so-called Bahia Emerald. The curious case of an enormous emerald is destined for a Los Angeles courtroom Friday, Sept. 24, 2010 when a judge will try to determine precisely who owns it. Dug up in Brazil in 2001 and tipping the scales at 840 pounds, the boulder-sized Bahia Emerald is one of the largest gems ever discovered. (AP Photo/Los Angeles County Sheriff's Department, File)

http://www.mercurynews.com/californi...nclick_check=1

I feel it's my duty to liberate The Precious from the dishonest swindlers and bandits fighting for control of her. Call it thievery for justice. Rob from the rich and give to the poor*... more or less.

I also need a wheelman... or wheelwoman; this is an equal opportunity illegal venture. I can't promise that you'll make it out alive, but I can promise that if you die I'll enjoy your share in your stead, so it won't go to waste.

Oh, and when the guy disabling the alarm at the Sheriff's Department impound finishes his job, go ahead and kill him so there's more of a cut for us.

* = Me.

[Flashover]

I have a black helicopter that travels faster than the speed of plot, carries more firepower than most second-world nations and nearly unlimited range.

Will that work?

That thing looks like a prop from Smallville.

[Locutus of Bored]

Flashover wrote:

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I have a black helicopter that travels faster than the speed of plot, carries more firepower than most second-world nations and nearly unlimited range.

Will that work?

You're in.

Jetfire wrote:

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That thing looks like a prop from Smallville.

I'm sure I have no idea what you're talking about.

BTW, if you want in and need to find me, look for the bald guy laughing maniacally about how my evil plan can't possibly fail this time.


On a side note, CNN now is saying that the Bahia Emerald is worth $800 million, not that $400 million dollar chump-change quoted in the article. It almost wasn't worth stealing for such a pittance, but now I'm really motivated.

[Holdfast]

I really, really hope this guy claiming ownership is just making the story up. How fucking ballsy would that be? Imagine if he ends up convincing the court. Con of the Century, for sure.

As for Locutus' Heist of the Century, I'm in. I can prescribe all manner of anaesthetic agents with which to incapacitate any guards...

[Locutus of Bored]

Holdfast wrote:

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I really, really hope this guy claiming ownership is just making the story up. How fucking ballsy would that be? Imagine if he ends up convincing the court. Con of the Century, for sure.

As always, your unadulterated glee at the prospect of chaos inspires me. You're like my muse of bedlam.

As for Locutus' Heist of the Century, I'm in. I can prescribe all manner of anaesthetic agents with which to incapacitate any guards...

Can they be administered via blowdarts? Because that would be pretty fucking ninja.

Plus, I've always wanted to tell someone "Too bad. You could warn them... if only you spoke Hovitos." I figure the randomness of it will scare the guards into submission while they slip away to sleep.

[Collingwood Nick]

If you need a fast driver, I'm your man

[ancientone51]

Always like green sparkly things...if you need me, I'm in.

Not sure what I can do, maybe play the old lady in need of help, or the rich old lady who will not take that from the help. I can be a distraction.

[Robert Maxwell]

Has the slot for fast-talking, wise-cracking computer hacker been taken yet? I need Mountain Dew and Hot Pockets.

[Holdfast]

Locutus of Bored wrote:

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Can they be administered via blowdarts? Because that would be pretty fucking ninja.

Midazolam = Job Done. IM administration via blow-dart would work a treat.

Plus, I've always wanted to tell someone "Too bad. You could warn them... if only you spoke Hovitos." I figure the randomness of it will scare the guards into submission while they slip away to sleep.

[Kestrel]

Sorry, no use for the Venture.

But that thing should be on display in a museum, not sold and cut up into pieces.

[Captain Ice]

I'm only a 6 hour drive from that courthouse, can get a cargo van, and know where I can get my hands on all the weaponry we'll need...

[Gaseous Anomaly]

I have a 4x4 3/4 ton pickup, however that looks like a lawn tractor will carry it off. Count me in if you like!

Did I mention I know several spec ops guys that can help.

[Vendikarr]

You guys can all go and try your heist. I just wanna buy the movie rights to the story.

[Australis]

What you need.. is some Leverage.