Caption Contest 62: The Shadow Knows

Nerys Myk · January 29 2011, 08:11 PM

But first, the winners!

The cooleddie's Back Award

cooleddie74 wrote:

MALCOLM: WHOA, little fella.

Calm down. You'll get your chance later. When they're asleep.

Helpful Hints Award

Rat Boy wrote:

Reed: "This is your standard action hero pose. If you want to spice it up...

*turns gun sideways*

"...I suggest the gangsta."

Helpful Hints Award II

LeadHead wrote:

Archer: Have you noticed how pretty much nobody is captioning this picture?

Bu'kah: Try staring at your crotch, maybe that'll drive up some interest.

Top Shop Award

NX-01 wrote:

Reed - I am going to beat Tucker in this weeks Water Fight. When I was a boy I had 50 of these bad boys. I have built my collection to 1000's. I only have this one on aboard with me.

Sato - Wow thats great....your a virgin aren't you?

Reed (Sighs heavily) - Yes....

Reed - Hold it right there, you Suliban scum!!!

Sato - Er.. Lieutenant...thats your Super Soaker.

Reed - Damn!!

It Is A Contest Award

Jonas Grumby wrote:

T'Pol: "Geez, relax, Sato! It's not a contest!"

Brain And Brain Award

NX-01 wrote:

Reed - ARGH MY BRAIN IS TRYING TO ESCAPE!!!
Phlox - Lieutenant, it was just a sneeze.
Reed - Sez you.....get back in there brain...

Your Prize:

Nerys Myk · January 29 2011, 08:14 PM

And now this contest's pics:

Rat Boy · January 29 2011, 08:23 PM

Archer: "Don't worry, I think we can get out of this. This cheap siding should give way easily."

T'Pol: "Could you have waited until the guard was out of earshot before explaining your getaway plan, oh brave captain?"

Trip: "Did I leave the iron on?"

Reed: "Your house was destroyed by the Xindi. Does it matter anymore?"

Hoshi: "Malcolm!"

Reed: "Too soon?"

Mayweather: "Can I interject something?"

Trip, Hoshi, and Reed: "NO!"

Andorian: "You have a purty mouth, pink skin."

Archer: "Is that a gun under your blanket or are you just happy to see me?"

T'Pol: "It is my knee."

Archer: "Suuuuuuuuuuure."

LeadHead · January 29 2011, 08:38 PM

Thanks for the win!

T'Pol: I don't mind being tied up with you, but I did NOT agree to a third person being involved.

Malcolm: So how were they captured?

Trip: Well, some fighter plane shot at the shuttle.

Malcolm: Why didn't they land, grab their survival gear and go into hiding? And why didn't we send down a shuttlepod right away?

Travis: Or Move the ship into the atmosphere and totally own that fighter?

Trip: Too many... plot....holes....

Hoshi: Stop! You know what kind of effect Plot holes have on Commander Tucker!

Malcolm: Man, I will be soooo glad when they switch you out for Talas.

Archer: So then after that hiking accident in the 3rd grade, I decided to take up kayaking, which led to me dislocating my shoulder-

T'Pol: Okay! I get it! You had a lot of athletic injuries as a kid! Do humans actually want to hear these when they're in the hospital?

The Laughing Vulcan · January 29 2011, 08:49 PM

T'Pol: "I need to pee."
Archer: "Aw crap, that didn't come up at hero school."

Trip: out of the side of his mouth "Hey, who's the black guy?"
Hoshi: "I dunno, I keep seeing him around though."
Malcolm: "I think it's... No, I have nothing."
Mayweather: "Son of a..."

Malcolm: "Hey, who's the blue guy?"
Trip: "Mayweather."
Malcolm: "Right..."

Archer: "Hi, I'm Jonathan Archer, and I'll be conducting your gyno today. On today's menu is latex gloves, lube, or would madam want to go au naturelle?"

Jonas Grumby · January 29 2011, 09:14 PM

Thanks for the win!

Archer: "Back to back. Always back to back. Why couldn't they, just once, tie us up front to front?"
T'Pol: "You're a pig."

Keating: "Apparently, Linda is still feuding with our hairdressing department."
Park: "Shut up!"

Andorian: "Prisoners? Why do you think you're prisoners? Just because we tied you up? That's just what we do here! What kind of bar did you think this was, anyway?"

Archer: "So...the next time I tell you to stay away from Trip's 'Cajun Surprise' gumbo, maybe you'll listen."

Admiral Shran · January 29 2011, 09:44 PM

Archer: You know, I never thought I would die like this. Dreamed? Yes. But never actually thought it would happen.
T'Pol: For crying out loud.

Trip: Who the hell photoshopped the three of you into this picture? Because whoever it was did a lousy job.

Malcolm: You know I never thought I'd die like this. Dreamed? Yes. But I never thought it would actually happen.
Trip: Oh, for crying out loud!

T'Pol: And then Phlox made a three inch incision just under my right breast so he could insert a tube into my lung in order to keep me breathing. After that he applied another one of his eels to my face to repair the scrape I got when I fell to the ground. Finally, after three hours of surgery, he revived me and gave me the rundown of what happened on the mission after I was shot.
Archer (thinking): Did I hear something about breasts in there?

Gil T.Azell · January 29 2011, 09:58 PM

Rat Boy wrote:

Andorian: "You have a purty mouth, pink skin."

Shran: (cont.) "I'm going to make you squeal like an Andorian pig!"

Trip : "Gulp"

Shran: " You haven't seen blue balls until you've been with my wife"

Trip; " Now there's an image I want out of my head and fast"

Malcolm: " Agreed Commander..."

ToMaHaKeR · January 29 2011, 10:51 PM

T'Pol: ''Captain, I believe something really bad is going to happen soon... A star becoming a supernova... Or even my homeworld being destroyed.''

Archer: ''What makes you say that?''

T'Pol: ''There's a slight lens flare in this room.''

Archer (after a brief pause): ''I really could have a beer right now...''

Finn · January 30 2011, 01:01 AM

Trip: Damn...this happens when the Cap'n is away. Any ideas, guys?

Hoshi: I could encrypt that last sentence the alien said before they went to warp

Malcolm: I could track the phaser particles and see where they went

Travis: Aye, sir. Full Impulse

Trip: *sigh* This is getting ridculous... the whole one line the writers has been giving Mayweather....

Kirby · January 30 2011, 04:14 PM

Director (o/s): Ok everyone that was great, but let's all try to look in the same direction for this next one.

Andorian: I know this may be a little off-topic, what with me holding you prisoner and all, but how much do you guys think I can bench press?

Archer: Good news! Phlox is going to let me scrub in and assist on your surgery. And when I say assist, I mean I'm just going to stare at your boobies while you're unconcious. Hey, have those sedatives kicked in yet?

NX-01 · January 30 2011, 06:32 PM

Thanks for the win!

Rat Boy · January 30 2011, 06:32 PM

Hoshi: "This is just a thought, but maybe could try looking for my contact lens on the floor?"

jep · January 30 2011, 07:32 PM

Archer: "Jesus Christ, I thought it was supposed to be a kinder, gentler season of American Idol this year."

T' Pol: I told you you shouldn't have tried to sing "Sherry Baby", but would you listen? Nooooooo."

.

LeadHead · January 30 2011, 07:33 PM

Archer: Some say Houdini was double jointed. I don't suppose Vulcans are double jointed?

T'Pol: Only during Pon Farr.

Archer: So then, after we realized you'd been shot in the ass, we all had a legitimate reason to stare at it for awhile.

January 29 2011, 08:14 PM	#2
Nerys Myk Admiral Location: House of Kang, now with ridges	Re: Caption Contest 62: The Shadow Knows And now this contest's pics: __________________ Nerys Myk's Midnight In Never Land A novel of Dark Fantasy @ Amazon.com

January 29 2011, 08:23 PM	#3
Rat Boy Vice Admiral Location: Home of the World Champion San Francisco Giants!	Re: Caption Contest 62: The Shadow Knows Archer: "Don't worry, I think we can get out of this. This cheap siding should give way easily." T'Pol: "Could you have waited until the guard was out of earshot before explaining your getaway plan, oh brave captain?" Trip: "Did I leave the iron on?" Reed: "Your house was destroyed by the Xindi. Does it matter anymore?" Hoshi: "Malcolm!" Reed: "Too soon?" Mayweather: "Can I interject something?" Trip, Hoshi, and Reed: "NO!" Andorian: "You have a purty mouth, pink skin." Archer: "Is that a gun under your blanket or are you just happy to see me?" T'Pol: "It is my knee." Archer: "Suuuuuuuuuuure."

January 29 2011, 08:38 PM	#4
LeadHead Insert Clever Title Here Location: Somewhere with Internet access.	Re: Caption Contest 62: The Shadow Knows Thanks for the win! T'Pol: I don't mind being tied up with you, but I did NOT agree to a third person being involved. Malcolm: So how were they captured? Trip: Well, some fighter plane shot at the shuttle. Malcolm: Why didn't they land, grab their survival gear and go into hiding? And why didn't we send down a shuttlepod right away? Travis: Or Move the ship into the atmosphere and totally own that fighter? Trip: Too many... plot....holes.... Hoshi: Stop! You know what kind of effect Plot holes have on Commander Tucker! Malcolm: Man, I will be soooo glad when they switch you out for Talas. Archer: So then after that hiking accident in the 3rd grade, I decided to take up kayaking, which led to me dislocating my shoulder- T'Pol: Okay! I get it! You had a lot of athletic injuries as a kid! Do humans actually want to hear these when they're in the hospital?

January 29 2011, 08:49 PM	#5
The Laughing Vulcan Admiral Location: At The Laughing Vulcan's party...	Re: Caption Contest 62: The Shadow Knows T'Pol: "I need to pee." Archer: "Aw crap, that didn't come up at hero school." Trip: out of the side of his mouth "Hey, who's the black guy?" Hoshi: "I dunno, I keep seeing him around though." Malcolm: "I think it's... No, I have nothing." Mayweather: "Son of a..." Malcolm: "Hey, who's the blue guy?" Trip: "Mayweather." Malcolm: "Right..." Archer: "Hi, I'm Jonathan Archer, and I'll be conducting your gyno today. On today's menu is latex gloves, lube, or would madam want to go au naturelle?" __________________ "Don't try to live so wise. Don't cry 'cause you're so right. Don't dry with fakes or fears, 'Cause you will hate yourself in the end." Anime @ MyReviewer

January 29 2011, 09:14 PM	#6
Jonas Grumby Vice Admiral Location: Somewhere in the South Pacific	Re: Caption Contest 62: The Shadow Knows Thanks for the win! Archer: "Back to back. Always back to back. Why couldn't they, just once, tie us up front to front?" T'Pol: "You're a pig." Keating: "Apparently, Linda is still feuding with our hairdressing department." Park: "Shut up!" Andorian: "Prisoners? Why do you think you're prisoners? Just because we tied you up? That's just what we do here! What kind of bar did you think this was, anyway?" Archer: "So...the next time I tell you to stay away from Trip's 'Cajun Surprise' gumbo, maybe you'll listen." __________________ "There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life: music and cats." - Albert Schweitzer Last edited by Jonas Grumby; January 30 2011 at 02:23 AM.

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January 29 2011, 09:44 PM	#7
Admiral Shran Admiral Location: In the Before Time - the Long, Long Ago	Re: Caption Contest 62: The Shadow Knows Archer: You know, I never thought I would die like this. Dreamed? Yes. But never actually thought it would happen. T'Pol: For crying out loud. Trip: Who the hell photoshopped the three of you into this picture? Because whoever it was did a lousy job. Malcolm: You know I never thought I'd die like this. Dreamed? Yes. But I never thought it would actually happen. Trip: Oh, for crying out loud! T'Pol: And then Phlox made a three inch incision just under my right breast so he could insert a tube into my lung in order to keep me breathing. After that he applied another one of his eels to my face to repair the scrape I got when I fell to the ground. Finally, after three hours of surgery, he revived me and gave me the rundown of what happened on the mission after I was shot. Archer (thinking): Did I hear something about breasts in there? __________________ Vote Obomney 2012! "All governments suffer a recurring problem: power attracts pathological personalities. It's not that power corrupts but that it's magnetic to the corruptible." - Frank Herbert, Dune

January 29 2011, 10:51 PM	#9
ToMaHaKeR Lieutenant Commander Location: Croatia	Re: Caption Contest 62: The Shadow Knows T'Pol: ''Captain, I believe something really bad is going to happen soon... A star becoming a supernova... Or even my homeworld being destroyed.'' Archer: ''What makes you say that?'' T'Pol: ''There's a slight lens flare in this room.'' Archer (after a brief pause): ''I really could have a beer right now...''

January 30 2011, 01:01 AM	#10
Finn Vice Admiral Location: West of Boston	Re: Caption Contest 62: The Shadow Knows Trip: Damn...this happens when the Cap'n is away. Any ideas, guys? Hoshi: I could encrypt that last sentence the alien said before they went to warp Malcolm: I could track the phaser particles and see where they went Travis: Aye, sir. Full Impulse Trip: sigh This is getting ridculous... the whole one line the writers has been giving Mayweather....

January 30 2011, 04:14 PM	#11
Kirby Rear Admiral Location: Alt: 5280	Re: Caption Contest 62: The Shadow Knows Director (o/s): Ok everyone that was great, but let's all try to look in the same direction for this next one. Andorian: I know this may be a little off-topic, what with me holding you prisoner and all, but how much do you guys think I can bench press? Archer: Good news! Phlox is going to let me scrub in and assist on your surgery. And when I say assist, I mean I'm just going to stare at your boobies while you're unconcious. Hey, have those sedatives kicked in yet? __________________ Henderson!!!!

January 30 2011, 06:32 PM	#12
NX-01 Lieutenant Commander Location: Gateshead, England	Re: Caption Contest 62: The Shadow Knows Thanks for the win! __________________ Phlox - "I'm fine!" T'Pol - "You nearly shot the captain's dog!"

January 30 2011, 07:32 PM	#14
jep Captain Location: Southeast USA	Re: Caption Contest 62: The Shadow Knows Archer: "Jesus Christ, I thought it was supposed to be a kinder, gentler season of American Idol this year." T' Pol: I told you you shouldn't have tried to sing "Sherry Baby", but would you listen? Nooooooo." . __________________ Despite all my rage I am still just a rat in a cage.

January 30 2011, 07:33 PM	#15
LeadHead Insert Clever Title Here Location: Somewhere with Internet access.	Re: Caption Contest 62: The Shadow Knows Archer: Some say Houdini was double jointed. I don't suppose Vulcans are double jointed? T'Pol: Only during Pon Farr. Archer: So then, after we realized you'd been shot in the ass, we all had a legitimate reason to stare at it for awhile.