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Miscellaneous Discussion of non-Trek topics.

View Poll Results: What should I do?
Take the job offered 1 5.00%
Keep looking for another job 7 35.00%
Go back to school 4 20.00%
Concentrate on the jam business 7 35.00%
Hide under the covers 1 5.00%
Call the therapist for an emergency session 0 0%
Voters: 20. You may not vote on this poll

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Old January 22 2015, 05:51 PM   #1
mari
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Tell me what to do

I'm probably being ridiculous (I mean other than crowdsourcing this decision) but I am thoroughly unable to make this decision myself.

My current contract is over (I work in IT), and I'm (probably) pulling down a salary til the end of the month with my outsourcing company. I have been interviewing, was turned down for a job I really wanted, and just offered another job I'm not sure about. Until now, I've been working at home and have had the baby with me all the time, which has occasionally resulted in me having a freak-out about my lack of grown-up interaction (other than husband, parents, sister, therapist).

So the job offer on the table is less than what I'd like to make, when you factor in needing to put the kid in daycare, and also contribute to household bills. Plus they seem to require a lot of overtime, which won't work because, well, daycare. Husband works 2nd shift so he can't do pickup. On the other hand, if I can make it work, I stand to learn a lot more about marketing and web developing, which is what I thought I wanted to do. Oh, and they all seem a little weird at this place, which is saying something because I usually describe myself as weird.

We have some savings, so I can not work for a while if nothing presents itself. More concerning is my new issue this morning that I don't want to be apart from the kid... when for the past month (or six) I have been all about trying to get a job out of the house so I can be apart from him.

I'm also considering going back to school short-term to get a certificate in bookkeeping. I like numbers, dislike people (although they like me) and I already have a little informal bookkeeping experience.

And then there's my small business. Best friend and I make and sell jam at farmer's markets and online. It's pretty awesome, but we're still operating at a loss 3 years on. I'm crunching numbers lately and I might be able to turn things around... but she's on the cusp of taking a full-time job and that will severely impact our ability to produce the jam and do mid-week events. So theoretically, I could basically take over all operations on this business if I didn't have a full-time job.

The only thing I definitely can't see happening is me working part-time just to keep working, because no part-time job is going to pay enough to put the kid in daycare.

I'm not feeling particularly passionate about any career path (never have, which is why I ended up majoring in music) and I can't decide if I'm better off at home with the kid or out in an office somewhere. So... pick a poll option, or just tell me I'm crazy... results of poll will not be binding but I really need opinions from people who aren't emotionally or financially invested in me.
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Old January 22 2015, 07:36 PM   #2
RoJoHen
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Re: Tell me what to do

Well, it sounds like you really don't want to take the new job, so you probably shouldn't.

Alternate option if you really get desperate for work: Look for a part-time job and get a babysitter. It would be a hell of a lot cheaper than paying for a daycare.
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Old January 22 2015, 08:15 PM   #3
Admiral2
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Re: Tell me what to do

Concentrate on the jam business.

All small businesses operate at a loss, often for years, but becoming profitable isn't impossible, and you already have an idea for making it profitable, so focus on implementing the idea and compensating for what happens if your business partner bails. The upsides: You can work from home, which lets you be with the kid, you're not committing to a job you may not want and working with people who are weirder than you, and if the jam business really takes off, you could send the kid to Harvard or Yale someday if you wanted to.

Take this opinion with as many grains of salt as you like. The harsh reality is most business start-ups eventually fail. The key word though, is "most." There must be a formula out there that will help your business succeed. If you find it, that success aids in solving the rest of your problems.
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Old January 22 2015, 08:54 PM   #4
auntiehill
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Re: Tell me what to do

RoJoHen wrote: View Post
Well, it sounds like you really don't want to take the new job, so you probably shouldn't.

Alternate option if you really get desperate for work: Look for a part-time job and get a babysitter. It would be a hell of a lot cheaper than paying for a daycare.
This. It sounds like you've already made a decision and just don't want to accept it. If you can afford to stay at home for awhile, can't afford daycare only working part-time and aren't able to work the overtime required by the job that has an offer on the table, then the answer is already there. Sounds like the decision is already made. So, stay home, take care of your child, look into taking some courses on book-keeping and dabble in your jam business on the side.
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Old January 23 2015, 03:42 AM   #5
Australis
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Re: Tell me what to do

Don't take the job.

Use your web skills to build a small website for selling the jam as well. You'd be amazed. Son set up a website to sell refurb computers and parts, now he's had to open a store because of demand. You'll be surprised. And it sounds like you need to be your own boss.
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Last edited by Australis; January 23 2015 at 10:53 PM.
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Old January 23 2015, 03:56 AM   #6
shivkala
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Re: Tell me what to do

I almost clicked "call the therapist for an emergency session," but I ultimately chose "keep looking for a job." The reason I relented was because I think you can do both, but I do think you should talk to someone who is qualified to listen to you and figure out where your heart really lies.

Also, have you talked things over with your husband? This seems like an awfully big decision to make on your own, especially with it impacting him, too. Just lay out your "non-negotiables" with him. You do sound like someone who's carrying an awfully big load on your own, it might help to involve others close to you, so they can help shoulder this decision.

auntiehill wrote: View Post
RoJoHen wrote: View Post
Well, it sounds like you really don't want to take the new job, so you probably shouldn't.

Alternate option if you really get desperate for work: Look for a part-time job and get a babysitter. It would be a hell of a lot cheaper than paying for a daycare.
This. It sounds like you've already made a decision and just don't want to accept it. If you can afford to stay at home for awhile, can't afford daycare only working part-time and aren't able to work the overtime required by the job that has an offer on the table, then the answer is already there. Sounds like the decision is already made. So, stay home, take care of your child, look into taking some courses on book-keeping and dabble in your jam business on the side.
Also, yes.
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Old January 23 2015, 04:26 PM   #7
mari
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Re: Tell me what to do

auntiehill wrote: View Post
RoJoHen wrote: View Post
Well, it sounds like you really don't want to take the new job, so you probably shouldn't.

Alternate option if you really get desperate for work: Look for a part-time job and get a babysitter. It would be a hell of a lot cheaper than paying for a daycare.
This. It sounds like you've already made a decision and just don't want to accept it. If you can afford to stay at home for awhile, can't afford daycare only working part-time and aren't able to work the overtime required by the job that has an offer on the table, then the answer is already there. Sounds like the decision is already made. So, stay home, take care of your child, look into taking some courses on book-keeping and dabble in your jam business on the side.
I ended up sending a note declining the offer. They've kept it open for me to work there in the future, so that's nice.

Australis wrote: View Post
Don't take the job.

Use your web skills to build a small webnsitre for selling the jam as well. You'd be amazed. Son set up a websiute to sell refurb computers and aprts, now he's had to open a store becuase of demand. You'll be surprised. And it sounds like you need to be your own boss.
Oh, we have a website, which I coded 100% myself. I'd post it but that's against the board rules. It's called OmNomNom Jams & Jellies, though, if anyone's curious. Or likes jam.

shivkala wrote: View Post
I almost clicked "call the therapist for an emergency session," but I ultimately chose "keep looking for a job." The reason I relented was because I think you can do both, but I do think you should talk to someone who is qualified to listen to you and figure out where your heart really lies.

Also, have you talked things over with your husband? This seems like an awfully big decision to make on your own, especially with it impacting him, too. Just lay out your "non-negotiables" with him. You do sound like someone who's carrying an awfully big load on your own, it might help to involve others close to you, so they can help shoulder this decision.
I do keep my husband looped in, and we have had many talks about the job situation pretty much since I got pregnant, and he is very, very supportive of "whatever you want to do, dear".

So I've also gotten an email from someone who wants a new website, so that should keep me busy for a couple weeks anyway, while I continue applying for jobs that are maybe better for my situation. I'm going to look at daycares, too, which will both get that decision going and maybe also make me feel better about stashing the kid somewhere during the day.

And therapy is on Monday, so there's that.

Thanks, all. Sometimes I just need to type everything out and have internet people confirm what I already know.
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Old January 23 2015, 07:32 PM   #8
RoJoHen
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Re: Tell me what to do

mari wrote: View Post
Thanks, all. Sometimes I just need to type everything out and have internet people confirm what I already know.
See, and I try to keep all major life decisions as far away from the internet as possible.
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Old January 24 2015, 12:47 AM   #9
shivkala
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Re: Tell me what to do

mari wrote: View Post
shivkala wrote: View Post
I almost clicked "call the therapist for an emergency session," but I ultimately chose "keep looking for a job." The reason I relented was because I think you can do both, but I do think you should talk to someone who is qualified to listen to you and figure out where your heart really lies.

Also, have you talked things over with your husband? This seems like an awfully big decision to make on your own, especially with it impacting him, too. Just lay out your "non-negotiables" with him. You do sound like someone who's carrying an awfully big load on your own, it might help to involve others close to you, so they can help shoulder this decision.
I do keep my husband looped in, and we have had many talks about the job situation pretty much since I got pregnant, and he is very, very supportive of "whatever you want to do, dear".
Good to hear. Being divorced, I really miss the "team" aspect of being in a marriage. Of course, both of you have to be working towards common goals. If you both are, then that's great, I just didn't see it mentioned in the original post.

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Old January 24 2015, 01:16 AM   #10
teacake
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Re: Tell me what to do

I would vote go back to school and do the jam business. School will be definite hours and maybe lead to bookeeping which is potentially flexible and at home with kid and also leads to adult interaction. Jam business gets you out of house, is (if you still like it) a potentially satisfying fun project you can build up if you take over and can be dropped easily enough if it becomes too difficult. Both those things seem like they would potentially allow you to stay with kid more AND get adult interaction.
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Old January 24 2015, 01:18 AM   #11
USS Triumphant
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Re: Tell me what to do

I'm glad you've found what I would call "bridge work", because with your current situation as described it sounds like what you most need at the moment is for something to change - anything really - to give clarity to what direction you should go in next. The bridge work will hopefully give you time for that to happen.

As an aside regarding a link to your jam business, I've seen it said here - by admins - that while direct advertising or other spammy behavior will get someone in trouble, a blind eye is generally shown to reasonable links put into a user's sig....
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Old January 25 2015, 12:59 PM   #12
Ghost07
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Re: Tell me what to do

If I was allowed to vote 2 choices, I would have said ...the jam and go back to school. The way school works now-a-days, you should be able to do both.

That might give you the social interaction you're missing, too, and allow you to stay home with baby.
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Old January 25 2015, 07:00 PM   #13
rhubarbodendron
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Re: Tell me what to do

maybe you could set up a second business: building websites. That's something you can do from home and use your skills. You'd save the money for daycare and you could still contribute a bit to the family income.
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Old Today, 05:15 AM   #14
galleywest
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Re: Tell me what to do

Jam! Why? Because: jam! Delicious, delicious jam.

Good luck to you--I would also advocate going back to school to see if that's what you want. Treat it not like going back to school but going on an extended job interview--it can be a great place to network and use otherwise difficult to access resources for finding a job.
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