Firefly ep by ep; rewatch and reviews

[TEH BABA]

How come Charisma Carpenter coulddnt have played the female consular?

[Mal]

TEH BABA wrote:

---

How come Charisma Carpenter coulddnt have played the female consular?

first rule of lesbian porn: one blond & one brunette, that way everyone's happy. inara is already a brunette, so no Cordy.
QED.

[Sakrysta]

saturn5 wrote:

---

I write the review out on Word first so I HAVE to choose a font!

Just for the record, the font the board uses is Trebuchet MS. However, choosing this font in Word won't get rid of the tags you get from copying/pasting from Word.

A humble suggestion that will make a lot of people happy, and perhaps prevent Trekker4747's apoplexy. :

Use Notepad to type your posts instead of Word. Notepad is a simple little text program that comes installed with Windows. You can find it in Start->Programs->Accessories->Notepad. What using this program does for you is allows you to have JUST text - no codes, no formatting, no nothing. Copying and pasting from Notepad gives you "naked" text that will work in any context. It's really the best way to transfer text from your computer to online.

Once you've pasted your review's text in the Message box on the board, you can use the board's editor to add any formatting you want, like bold or underline. You are stuck with the default font though. It's one of the most appealing aspects of the board, that you don't have all the extra clutter of giant text or multi-colored strangeness.

Enjoying the reviews, by the way, though I will add my voice to the votes that say you don't need all the statistical tallies. Those things are fine to include in, for example, a website resource where someone might go to look for that information. But a good review is not a list of this happened/that happened. It's the opportunity to express your opinion - what you liked, what you didn't like, how it compares to similar shows, etc. Fun quotes and/or a BRIEF synopsis are good - they remind the reader of what you're reviewing (for those who can't connect episode titles to plots in their memory). Other than that, the best reviews just tell the reader what you think. And by posting them in a message board environment, the you get the great opportunity to get feedback from your readers - both on your content, and your presentation.

Glad you're enjoying the show! Brings back fond memories.

[Trekker4747]

Sakrysta wrote:

---

Just for the record, the font the board uses is Trebuchet MS. However, choosing this font in Word won't get rid of the tags you get from copying/pasting from Word.

A humble suggestion that will make a lot of people happy, and perhaps prevent Trekker4747's apoplexy. :

Yeah, I... HEY!

FWIW. I've done some "thread bombs" and "photo manips" in Paint Brush using the Veranda for the board's font and the result is pretty close. Infact, checking just now:

Star Trek - Board Font
A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z

I think the board's font is clearly Verdana, the "M" is more notably "closed" on the top in Trebuchet, the "S" wider in Verdana, the letters are also wider in general, the "Q"'s curly is more on the bottom and "dangles" more in "Verdana" than it is in "Trebuchet" and there are serifs on the "J" and the "I" (Trebuchet is sans-serif.)

Both fonts above were done in a 12-point size, unbolded, in MS Paint.

[Sakrysta]

Actually, it depends on which skin you're using - I forgot. Gray uses Verdana. Blue uses Trebuchet.

[Mal]

Sakrysta wrote:

---

Actually, it depends on which skin you're using - I forgot. Gray uses Verdana. Blue uses Trebuchet.

two by two, hands of blue?

[Deckerd]

Neroon wrote:

---

Since you mentioned Han Solo in comparison to Mal earlier in this thread (Shindig), I have to ask.... did you happen to see the figurine of Han in carbonite?

It also makes an appearance in the next episode, "Heart of Gold".

Neroon you're such a geek.

[Neroon]

Deckerd wrote:

---

Neroon you're such a geek.

Aaaaannd loving it!

[Pemmer Harge]

Mal wrote:

---

it means she's brown-baggable, which is what Dr. Franklin suggests Ivanova do when the Lumati Ambassador wants to have sex with her. nothing particularly sexist about it.

Thumbs up for that reference. Personally, I think she's quite attractive, though.

[saturn5]

Pemmer Harge wrote:

---

Thumbs up for that reference. Personally, I think she's quite attractive, though.

Ok, here's it saved in wordpad and then cut and pasted

HEART OF GOLD
[FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][FONT=Arial][SIZE=2]　
[/SIZE][/FONT][/SIZE][/FONT]The good;
Stonking great battle, some lovely Inara/Mal stuff and sex aplenty for everyone. Small scene but I love the bit where Mal is doing his best John Wayne impression organising the defence of the brothel and then starts to panic when Pateleen goes into labour only to be saved by level-headed Simon (her kid must have the strangest trio of midwives ever).
　
The bad;
Silver foil can't hide the cheapness of the sets. Didn't they think to lock up or put a guard on Serenity overnight? If Jayne can take out the M60 gunner on the back of the hovercraft with his M14 can't he just slot Ranse and then it would all be over? You also wonder that Ranse just hands over his deadly, pride and joy pistol to the first stranger who admires it?
　
Best line;
Nandi;(of the Firefly crew) "If they're got guns and brains that's all I need"
Inara; "Well they've got guns...."

Packing heat;
Too many guns to count but notably Jayne with his M14 and the return of Wash's Colt Cobra .44. Ranse wears a fancy laser pistol which is rare sight for a non-core world. I'm informed that Shepherd's weapon in War Stories was a Goncz GA-9 pistol, great gun enthusiasts on the Xena boards.

Kinky dinky;
Inara bursts in on Mal 'handling his weapon'. She prefers his dinky Colt 32 instead (Wash's 'Leave no man behind' gun from War Stories). Mal and Jayne indulge themselves at the bordello with Jayne in particular getting into some hi-jinks with his blonde to judge by his transmission to Mal just before the gunfight.
　
Notches on the Serenity bedpost; Mal finally get's some action. Jayne get's so much he might leave the crew in debt to the Madam.

Inarra;3+1 possible, Atherton.
Wash; 1-the missus
Zoe; 1-the hubby
Kaylee;1-Bester
Jayne; 1-at least 1 Heart of Gold whore and possibly many others
Mal; 1-Nandi


Capt subtext;
Obviously the idea is that Nandi is a substitute for Inara. Does Mal take up with her because she's 'An independent' and not tainted in his eyes with her support for the Alliance? There are also male whores, one wonders are Companions exclusively female or do they also have male members...oh for a different phrasing.
When Mal shows no interest in her girls Nandi wonders if he's gay? His answer that 'I LEAN towards the womenfolk' is strangely ambiguous. One could speculate that Ranse represents the dark side of Mal himself, you wonder after this ep will Mal continue to use the word whore as an insult?

How'd they get away with that?
The scene where Ranse humiliates Chari on the saloon balcony is just unwatchable

Subverting the Hollywood cliche;
Having met the villain tough-guy Mal wishes to bravely run away. Jayne the callous womaniser actually likes to snuggle with his hooker. Pateleen shows the father his newborn son and then blows his head off in front of her baby with a .357 Magnum.

Whedon cliches;
Devoted siblings, haunted charismatic leading man. Teenage girls with superpowers. Hookers. Babbling insane girls with truth in their madness. Fake cockneys. Misguided religious zealots. Numbered t-shirts. Girls with botanical names (Willow, Saffron, Jasmine). Absent fathers. Clever use of extensive flashbacks. Women in boxes. Misogynists who get what's coming to them.


Women good/men bad;
Rans tells the woman pregnant with his child that if necessary "I'll cut it out of you!" He really is just scum, reminds me of Caleb. The scene where Mal compliments him "She's a beauty" and he takes it to mean his sidearm rather than his wife really sums up the character right there.

Kills; I figure 5 each for Mal, Jayne and Zoe
Mal; 17-
Zoe; 17-
Jayne; 16-
Wash; 2
River; 3
　
Happy high-class hookers in Space;
In this case, low class hookers in space. Inara draws a distinction between Companions and whores but seems to have no problem with them. Nandi hints that there was a great mystery surrounding Inara's decision to leave the home of the Companion Guild where she was on track to go far.

Know the face?
The beautiful Melinda Clarke is familar to fans of Xena as Valesca and also plays a more exotic Lady of the Night on CSI. Be sure to check her out as the incredible S&M zombie in Return of the Living Dead 3. http://www.imdb.com/media/rm4185233664/tt0107953 Looking at her you wonder did she maybe audtion for the role of Inara?

Fanfic;
Any or all of the crew indulging themselves in/deciding to work at the Heart of Gold (Kaylee "I love to make people happy and here that's now my job") plus several where Nandi does decide to take up Mal's offer and flee, her girls/boys setting up their new business on the Serenity itself.
　
Missing scenes;
Reputedly a scene where Ranse's wife comes to the Heart of Gold the night before the battle to try to convince Pateleen to just give her the kid, that she has everything to offer a child and it's the only thing her life is lacking, the only thing she can't do is concieve. Another supposedly has Zoe berating Jayne and Mal for sleeping with the Heart of Gold hookers, saying that no woman would ever act as they did and pointing out that none of the Firefly females took advantage of the male whores. At which point Kaylee looks suddenly guilty and slips quietly out the room...
.
　
Western cliches;
Storyline is very similar to aspects of Unforgiven, The Magnificent 7 and Young Guns Pt 2. Nandi rather reminiscent of Marlene Dietrich's Cattle Queen of Montanna. Mal does the traditional 'stagecoach jump' from the horse onto Ranse' hovercraft.
　
Firefly speak;
Gorram=goddam.
Weak tea=not good
Back birth=idiot
Companion=high class courtesan
Gengish=competent
Doh-ma=understand/understood?
Rutting=bloody (or perhaps 'fraking'?)
Chin-cha-da=hell
Purple belly=officious bureaucrat
Ta-gow=Oh god!
Won-gwa-pee= to urinate or defecate
Gosa=excrement
Tien-sha-duh=rubbish
Los-soh-ret=crap
Dien-dyododo-chowen=bastard
Wah=what the hell?
Mah song=quickly
Jin-seen-yung=idiot
Nu-shu-quong=nice going
Mai-hong=hello
Sheinou-niou=no good
Mei, mei=little sister
Niou-se=lame
Hey-shu-peegou=dumbass
Moon brain=inbred?
Jus-sa-gran=dupes/suckers
Swa-shi=petty, small time
Trim=sex
Roller=tank or armoured vehicle
Jon-su=bitch/hardass
Wetware=smuggled organs
Sly=gay
Drops=narcotics
Shot; astonishingly with all the lead flying around our heroes get away unscathed
Mal; 2-
Kaylee;1-
Jayne;3-
Book;1-
Wash;1-
　
Crew injured; not even Simon get's beaten up
　
　
Reminds me off;
Nandi is very like Tina Turner's character in Mad Max 3. Inara weeping when she discovers Mal has slept with Nandi is similar to Willow's when she finds out Faith has bedded Xander. Mal wishing to meet Ranse before taking him on is reminiscent of the famous Pacino/De Niro scene in Heat.
　
Questions and observations;
Jayne in a hat again, a stetson for the first time. Zoe wants a baby but Wash is reluctant given their precarious lifestyle. Inara actually get's into the fighting, holding a knife to Ranse throat. Nice quip from Mal when Nandi kisses him, he waits to see if he's going to pass out (as with Saffron). How did they know Chari was the traitor?

Marks out of 10;7 out of 10, a fairly slight story but well told and some nice Mal/Inara stuff

[Trekker4747]

saturn5 wrote:

---

[FONT=Arial][SIZE=2][FONT=Arial][SIZE=2]　[/FONT][/SIZE]
[SIZE=2][FONT=Arial][/SIZE][/FONT][/SIZE][/FONT]

Sigh. I give up.

[saturn5]

Me too, 2 more eps to go, just live with it

[Trekker4747]

saturn5 wrote:

---

Me too, 2 more eps to go, just live with it

I don't know what otherway to say this.

You do not have to enter a font or size tag. You do not.

Notice how right there you just flat-out typed your post? Just. Do. That.

Don't assign a font, a size, or a color. You can't. When you type your post in Word or whatever just type it out and type-in the Underline/Bold/Italic tags. That's all you have to do.

No font.

No size.

No color.

You cannot change them, the board's stuck on one set of them forever. Just type your post. Simple as that and not nearly as complicated as you've been making it.

Also, the "preview post" or even the "edit post" buttons are your friends to correct these issues.

[Lindley]

He's not typing these out, he's copy/pasting them from elsewhere. My guess is that the other board automatically inserts the tags to try and preserve formatting.

[Sakrysta]

Also, Wordpad is not Notepad. I thought about stressing the difference, but was afraid it would confuse. Apparently, I should have mentioned it. NOTEpad = good. Wordpad = bad.