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Old May 4 2010, 01:21 AM   #1
The Wormhole
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Do Vulcans Masturbate?

I was recentally thinking, on Voyager they came up with a solution to ponn farr by having Tuvok or Vorik have sex with holographic representations of their wives, which seemed to work. For Tuvok anyway.

However, maybe I'm missing something here, but sex with a hologram just seems like a sophisticated version of masturbation. So if holographic sex is enough to stave off ponn farr, wouldn't standard hands-on masturbation work as well?

So that raises the question, do Vulcans even masturbate at all? Because if they don't, that sure is an obvious solution to ponn farr. One that doesn't require dada, da, da, da, da, da, da, dada da dah, dada, da, da, da, da, da, da, dada DA dah.
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Old May 4 2010, 01:45 AM   #2
sbk1234
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Re: Do Vulcans Masturbate?

I'm just imagining Tuvok performing the self-activity while humming that tune the whole time...
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Old May 4 2010, 02:00 AM   #3
Nardpuncher
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Re: Do Vulcans Masturbate?

I have first-hand knowledge that they do.
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Old May 4 2010, 02:04 AM   #4
Mister_Atoz
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Re: Do Vulcans Masturbate?

they do, but they call it 'private meditation' and it is a personal experience not to be discussed with Earthmen...

I mean what do you think Sarek was REALLY up to when that Tellerite got killed...
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Old May 4 2010, 02:11 AM   #5
Crazy Eddie
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Re: Do Vulcans Masturbate?

In T'pol's case, I kinda hope so.
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Old May 4 2010, 02:20 AM   #6
the Dagman
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Re: Do Vulcans Masturbate?

It is my theory that the Vulcans' reproductive organs and sensual areas are actually their fingers. So yes. In fact, they flash their junk at you the moment they see you and one last time as they leave!

We have even seen Spock masturbate in this case. When he appears deep in thought with his fingers pressed together in a "steeple" like fashion, the fingers being the sexual organs. Apparently, masturbating helps him think.
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Old May 4 2010, 03:41 AM   #7
Elvira
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Re: Do Vulcans Masturbate?




Okay, then what in the name of Hell is this thing used for?
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Old May 4 2010, 04:14 AM   #8
Admiral Shran
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Re: Do Vulcans Masturbate?

newtype_alpha wrote: View Post
In T'pol's case, I kinda hope so.
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Old May 4 2010, 07:42 AM   #9
Myasishchev
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Re: Do Vulcans Masturbate?

The Wormhole wrote: View Post
I was recentally thinking, on Voyager they came up with a solution to ponn farr by having Tuvok or Vorik have sex with holographic representations of their wives, which seemed to work. For Tuvok anyway.

However, maybe I'm missing something here, but sex with a hologram just seems like a sophisticated version of masturbation. So if holographic sex is enough to stave off ponn farr, wouldn't standard hands-on masturbation work as well?

So that raises the question, do Vulcans even masturbate at all? Because if they don't, that sure is an obvious solution to ponn farr. One that doesn't require dada, da, da, da, da, da, da, dada da dah, dada, da, da, da, da, da, da, dada DA dah.
Yeah, the inconsistency between Voyager here and Amok Time is ridiculous. According to Voyager, Spock wasn't pursuing a biological absolute necessity; he was just a tremendous asshole who was willing to mutiny to get laid, when a puppet or Majel Barrett would have solved the problem.

I just totally ignore that episode. It's also silly that Tuvok needs Tom Paris' help to build a masturbation fantasy. Like Voyager's computer doesn't have ten thousand templates for that sort of nonsense already.
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Old May 4 2010, 08:16 AM   #10
Arpy
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Re: Do Vulcans Masturbate?

The Wormhole wrote: View Post
...One that doesn't require dada, da, da, da, da, da, da, dada da dah, dada, da, da, da, da, da, da, dada DA dah.








You-eh make-eh me de laugh, grazie.
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Old May 4 2010, 08:18 AM   #11
Brown-Eyed Ghoul
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Re: Do Vulcans Masturbate?

Do Vulcans masturbate?

Do we REALLY need to know?
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Old May 4 2010, 09:15 AM   #12
Deckerd
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Re: Do Vulcans Masturbate?

No they just wash it very thoroughly in the shower. Like everyone else.
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Old May 4 2010, 09:36 AM   #13
Cheapjack
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Re: Do Vulcans Masturbate?

I think I've heard that sperm in humans can be reabsorbed into the body, perhaps it's the same in Vulcans.

Or, perhaps they just store it up, and do it hundreds of times, like lions and leopards do, when they do it.

Vulcan women must get sore!
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Old May 4 2010, 02:20 PM   #14
barnaclelapse
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Re: Do Vulcans Masturbate?

I'm grateful at not really having an answer to this.
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Old May 4 2010, 02:27 PM   #15
Ensign_Redshirt
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Re: Do Vulcans Masturbate?

Dunno. Is masturbation logical?
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