RSS iconTwitter iconFacebook icon

The Trek BBS title image

The Trek BBS statistics

Threads: 140,802
Posts: 5,471,603
Members: 25,038
Currently online: 494
Newest member: kriegaex

TrekToday headlines

Shatner Book Kickstarter
By: T'Bonz on Nov 20

Trek Original Series Slippers
By: T'Bonz on Nov 19

Hemsworth Is Sexiest Man Alive
By: T'Bonz on Nov 19

Trek Business Card Cases
By: T'Bonz on Nov 17

February IDW Publishing Trek Comics
By: T'Bonz on Nov 17

Retro Review: The Siege of AR-558
By: Michelle on Nov 15

Trevco Full Bleed Uniform T-Shirts
By: T'Bonz on Nov 14

Wheaton Buys Wesley Crusher Hoodie
By: T'Bonz on Nov 14

People’s Choice Award Nominations
By: T'Bonz on Nov 14

Quinto: Not Internally Homophobic
By: T'Bonz on Nov 14


Welcome! The Trek BBS is the number one place to chat about Star Trek with like-minded fans. Please login to see our full range of forums as well as the ability to send and receive private messages, track your favourite topics and of course join in the discussions.

If you are a new visitor, join us for free. If you are an existing member please login below. Note: for members who joined under our old messageboard system, please login with your display name not your login name.


Go Back   The Trek BBS > Star Trek TV Series > Star Trek - Original Series

Star Trek - Original Series The one that started it all...

Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old April 17 2010, 05:33 PM   #1
Rat Boy
Vice Admiral
 
Rat Boy's Avatar
 
Location: Home of the World Champion San Francisco Giants!
TOS Caption Contest #171: Bridge to Nowhere

Laddie, don't you think you should rephrase that, because it's time for another caption contest. First, let's interrogate...



For killing two birds with one stone, our winner is...

The Laughing Vulcan wrote: View Post


"Show me on my ex-wife where you stabbed the Argelian whore."
And for some reason, any time someone holds up two hands, people immediately start thinking of two dicks, as our winner did...

captain crow wrote: View Post


Chekov: You should have seen it Sulu. Lieutenant Uhura bent over to pick up her Padd stylus she dropped on the floor and Mr. Spock took one look at her booty and he got two bulges just like this. It looked like he had antlers in his pants.
And our next winner helped us all take a break from all our worries...

Valin wrote: View Post


Scotty: "There was a bar in Boston where everyone knew your name."

Chekov: "I know that place; it was managed by a woman from Wulcan."
Normally I don't give our awards for reusing the same gag, but I couldn't help it this time in the case of our Photoshop winner...

jep wrote: View Post


Freeman: "This house band SUCKS!!!"

Scotty: "Are ye daft man? These guys kick ass!!! HEY!!! PLAY SOME HENDRIX!!!"

Kirk: "I believe I heard someone request 'Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds' in here!"

Entire bar: "Oh God, not again."


.
Congratulations to the winners! This week, we'll be hanging around the bridge. First up, Sulu's up for about three or four violations of Starfleet's code of conduct policy. Second, the crew finally discovers who's been leaving dandruff flakes all over the ship. And finally, an eerie sneak preview of Star Trek V. Have at:





Rat Boy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old April 17 2010, 05:40 PM   #2
Rat Boy
Vice Admiral
 
Rat Boy's Avatar
 
Location: Home of the World Champion San Francisco Giants!
Re: TOS Caption Contest #171: Bridge to Nowhere



Sulu: "So, going to Spock's quarters after work, huh? You lucky bastard."



Kirk: "No one's going anywhere until we figure out if I left my iron on."

Chekov: "We could just go to your quarters and look."

Kirk: "Shut up!"



Scotty: "This time, lassie, I promise not to squeeze yer buttcheeks and beat off."

Uhura: "Where have I heard that one before?"
Rat Boy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old April 17 2010, 05:45 PM   #3
Ryan Thomas Riddle
Rear Admiral
 
Ryan Thomas Riddle's Avatar
 
Location: The Bay Area
View Ryan Thomas Riddle's Twitter Profile
Re: TOS Caption Contest #171: Bridge to Nowhere



Sulu: You wanna get penetrated like ol' Joe? 'cept I won't be using a butter knife, but butter will be involved.



Shatner (under his breath): Don't touch the toupee. Don't touch the toupee. You're touching the toupee, Bill. They're gonna figure it out one day.



Scotty: Lass, wanna play stuff the haggis?



Sulu: Riley, man, this shit is kickin'. You really outta get some Jewels of Sound from Beckwith.
Riley: I thought Scotty was the ship's drug dealer.
__________________
A mild-mannered reporter
Ryan Thomas Riddle is offline   Reply With Quote
Old April 17 2010, 06:26 PM   #4
Rat Boy
Vice Admiral
 
Rat Boy's Avatar
 
Location: Home of the World Champion San Francisco Giants!
Re: TOS Caption Contest #171: Bridge to Nowhere



Kirk: "I don't get it. These M&Ms have to be around here somewhere."
Rat Boy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old April 17 2010, 07:07 PM   #5
cooleddie74
Fleet Admiral
 
cooleddie74's Avatar
 
Location: The Warped Sector of the Demented Quadrant
View cooleddie74's Twitter Profile
Re: TOS Caption Contest #171: Bridge to Nowhere



SULU: Spock's distracted.

Quick, Kevin...grab it before it goes limp!




KIRK: Someone dropped a dollar on the floor up here.

Anyone call it?




SCOTTY: When did the Captain order us to Fire Island?

UHURA: Apparently is was Sulu's idea...don't ask me.
__________________
Human instinct is pretty strong. You can't expect us to change overnight.

-Captain Jonathan Archer, 2151
cooleddie74 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old April 17 2010, 07:08 PM   #6
cooleddie74
Fleet Admiral
 
cooleddie74's Avatar
 
Location: The Warped Sector of the Demented Quadrant
View cooleddie74's Twitter Profile
Re: TOS Caption Contest #171: Bridge to Nowhere



RILEY: I can't just LEAVE my post like that! What's wrong with you?!

SULU: Suit yourself, Riley.

That just means more Astroglide and ham for me!
__________________
Human instinct is pretty strong. You can't expect us to change overnight.

-Captain Jonathan Archer, 2151
cooleddie74 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old April 17 2010, 07:11 PM   #7
Rat Boy
Vice Admiral
 
Rat Boy's Avatar
 
Location: Home of the World Champion San Francisco Giants!
Re: TOS Caption Contest #171: Bridge to Nowhere



Sulu: "I'll protect you, fair maiden!"

Riley: "Sorry, neither!"



Kirk: "Gum on the floor, again? That's it, I'm transferring Rand; I don't care how much she complains!"



Uhura: "There's a leak in the beer distillery."

Scotty: "Borgas frat!"
Rat Boy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old April 17 2010, 07:26 PM   #8
cooleddie74
Fleet Admiral
 
cooleddie74's Avatar
 
Location: The Warped Sector of the Demented Quadrant
View cooleddie74's Twitter Profile
Re: TOS Caption Contest #171: Bridge to Nowhere



SULU: You've got tight shoulders...work out much?

RILEY: Not around YOU. I hear the stories, Sulu. Don't think I don't.



We've got to do something about these nondescript, big-ass Christmas lights on the wall behind me. They don't DO anything. WHY the hell did the ship's designers even PUT the damn things there?!




SCOTTY: Pass it on...

Doctor McCoy's got anal warts.

AGAIN.
__________________
Human instinct is pretty strong. You can't expect us to change overnight.

-Captain Jonathan Archer, 2151
cooleddie74 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old April 17 2010, 07:28 PM   #9
cooleddie74
Fleet Admiral
 
cooleddie74's Avatar
 
Location: The Warped Sector of the Demented Quadrant
View cooleddie74's Twitter Profile
Re: TOS Caption Contest #171: Bridge to Nowhere



SULU: Meet me down in the arboretum in thirty minutes.

I'll show you things you can do with a Rigellian cucumber that will BLOW YOUR MIND. Among other things.
__________________
Human instinct is pretty strong. You can't expect us to change overnight.

-Captain Jonathan Archer, 2151
cooleddie74 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old April 17 2010, 07:57 PM   #10
Kirby
Rear Admiral
 
Kirby's Avatar
 
Location: Alt: 5280
View Kirby's Twitter Profile
Re: TOS Caption Contest #171: Bridge to Nowhere



Kirk: "Come on Jim, get a hold of yourself. You did not see a gremlin on the nacelle... you did not see a gremlin on the nacelle."
Kirby is offline   Reply With Quote
Old April 17 2010, 07:58 PM   #11
Maurice
Vice Admiral
 
Maurice's Avatar
 
Location: Maurice in San Francisco
View Maurice's Twitter Profile
Re: TOS Caption Contest #171: Bridge to Nowhere



SULU: Don't feel bad that Spock invited me to join you...he can handle us both, ifyouknowwhatI'msayin'.




SHATNER: Now, where did I put my subtlety?




SCOTTY: Pull my finger.
UHURA: Fuck that. They come off!
__________________
* * *
"The road to hell is paved with works-in-progress."
—Philip Roth
Maurice is offline   Reply With Quote
Old April 17 2010, 08:02 PM   #12
Gil T.Azell
Rear Admiral
 
Gil T.Azell's Avatar
 
Location: Gil T.Azell
Re: TOS Caption Contest #171: Bridge to Nowhere



Sulu: "Just remeber I took polaroids, your ass is mine if you slip up."



Uhura: " Sir I have a message from some lawyer for the captain.."

Scotty: "Aye sounds like another paterinty suit in the works."





Kirk: "Now let me think she's eight weeks along, where was I eight weeks ago , and what was I doing?"

Kirk: "Oh shit...."
__________________
That awkward moment when you're about to hug someone exstreamly sexy, and then you hit the mirror
Gil T.Azell is offline   Reply With Quote
Old April 17 2010, 08:12 PM   #13
Maurice
Vice Admiral
 
Maurice's Avatar
 
Location: Maurice in San Francisco
View Maurice's Twitter Profile
Re: TOS Caption Contest #171: Bridge to Nowhere



KIRK: I did "taste the rainbow", and it tasted like crap.
BONES: Those aren't Skittles, you dope!
__________________
* * *
"The road to hell is paved with works-in-progress."
—Philip Roth
Maurice is offline   Reply With Quote
Old April 17 2010, 09:52 PM   #14
tharpdevenport
Admiral
 
tharpdevenport's Avatar
 
Location: Click here for super karate monkey death MOD porn!
View tharpdevenport's Twitter Profile
Re: TOS Caption Contest #171: Bridge to Nowhere



Sulu/Takei: "Sooo ... I see you are not wearing a red shirt; I guess that means you'll be back next week. Can I keep him?"
__________________
Mr. Signature
Number 2 "Are you going to run?"
Number 6 "Like blazes! The first chance I get."
-Smile! God Loves You! Too bad he doesn't exist, oh and everyone else thinks you're an asshole.
tharpdevenport is offline   Reply With Quote
Old April 17 2010, 10:04 PM   #15
Jonas Grumby
Vice Admiral
 
Jonas Grumby's Avatar
 
Location: Somewhere in the South Pacific
Re: TOS Caption Contest #171: Bridge to Nowhere



Sulu: "Listen, Kevin, I know you're directly descended from Irish kings. I just want to remind you that every king needs his queen."




Kirk (thinking): "Let's see now...second yellow button down is humidity control...or was it second orange button down... Dammit, why can't we label these things!"




Uhura (irritated): "Something I can help you with, Mr. Scott? Or are you just trying to get a peek down my neckline again?"
__________________
"There are two means of refuge from the miseries of life: music and cats." - Albert Schweitzer
Jonas Grumby is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump



All times are GMT +1. The time now is 01:23 PM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.6
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
FireFox 2+ or Internet Explorer 7+ highly recommended.