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Old March 28 2010, 09:58 PM   #16
Nerys Ghemor
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Re: March Challenge: Flash

I'll just throw out one thing...

From Gul Berat's perspective...he has NO idea who it was who tried to kill him, whether they're male, female, or other, or what species they belong to. And I don't think he has ANY idea that it was a child.
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Old March 28 2010, 10:00 PM   #17
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Re: March Challenge: Flash

Nerys Ghemor wrote: View Post
I'll just throw out one thing...

From Gul Berat's perspective...he has NO idea who it was who tried to kill him, whether they're male, female, or other, or what species they belong to. And I don't think he has ANY idea that it was a child.
I'm wondering...how old is the boy, in your estimation?
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Old March 28 2010, 10:44 PM   #18
Nerys Ghemor
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Re: March Challenge: Flash

15 or 16.
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Old March 30 2010, 02:34 PM   #19
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Re: March Challenge: Flash

Superb job! This was a thoroughly gripping and entertaining story. I loved the character work here - you provided great insight into both Gul Berat and the boy. Not only that, you give the reader better understanding of (and a degree of sympathy for) the Maquis (at least the original incarnation of the group).

Both characters will no doubt have nightmares about this day for the rest of their lives. I also would like to know what happens to the boy in later years. Somehow, I don't think he ends up with the Maquis.

Very, very well done!
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Old March 31 2010, 12:51 AM   #20
Nerys Ghemor
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Re: March Challenge: Flash

The story of Gul Berat's injuries (that is, the re-injuring that turns out to be permanent) is one that's been in my head for a long time, and it was really good to get it out.

When it comes to the Maquis...my feelings are complex. I feel the Federation absolutely screwed over the colonists and had no right to cede inhabited worlds over to the Cardassians. (As for the Cardassians, they shouldn't have done it on their end either.) I also think the Cardassians made a serious FUBAR by arming their colonists. But the Maquis were out of line, too. And it all comes down to the Federation agreeing to one politically expedient treaty.

I know Gul Berat will always be haunted by what happened. Losing so much in such a senseless act is tough for him--there's the practical issues of coping with his disability, and the trauma itself. Unlike the boy, though, he has more life experience and MUCH more resilience and certainty in who he is and what he wants out of life, to draw upon in adversity.

In the end...the reason I re-injured the character when I borrowed him from Betrayal was this: I felt that this time he would end up really displaying a lot of strength and grace under pressure.
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Old April 2 2010, 12:21 AM   #21
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Re: March Challenge: Flash

From Ad Astra:
That was an impressive piece of work Nerys. To disscover the incident behind Berat's injuries and even to understand a little of the pain he endured then and afterwards as even his own vessel's power caused him further pain. An agony in an of itself. I like the build up, the ticking clock effect, that winds the story along. Very effective at driving the thrust of the story onwards. Good stuff.
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Old April 2 2010, 12:22 AM   #22
Nerys Ghemor
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Re: March Challenge: Flash

Thank you so, so much.


I've had this in my head for a LONG time, and to finally see it on "paper"...it's really something. He copes much better now, but he will never be free of the pain, and his hands only improve somewhat after this.


To me the whole, entire incident is an absolute tragedy. And not just for Berat.
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Old April 2 2010, 12:37 AM   #23
mirandafave
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Re: March Challenge: Flash

True it isn't just a tragedy for Berat. The poor kid too. Not to mention the fall out for the colonists - especially given how fair Berat would have been as a governor.
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Old April 2 2010, 12:39 AM   #24
Nerys Ghemor
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Re: March Challenge: Flash

Berat wouldn't have been the governor...more like the local military patrol/liaison officer, had things worked out right. The human governor would've stayed in place.

It sucks, though, how because of what happened, Evek came in and did God only knows what to the colonists.
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Old April 2 2010, 08:57 PM   #25
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Re: March Challenge: Flash

Good job. Like to read what came next.
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Old April 3 2010, 12:24 AM   #26
Nerys Ghemor
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Re: March Challenge: Flash

There are hints of it in "Let He Who Has Eyes See," actually.

Tekeny Ghemor and Turrel ended up getting hold of Berat's petition to stay in the service, and making it actually happen. Ghemor sent one of his staff officers, Glinn Bresul Yejain, to become Berat's new first officer and aide.

Upon Yejain's arrival, Berat held a meeting with his senior officers (those ranked dalin and above) and went over in frank detail what it was going to mean serving under him now that he had this disability. He offered any of that rank who wished it to transfer off of the Sherouk without prejudice (Ghemor and Turrel would've helped with the reassignments).

Everyone offered the choice chose to stay.
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