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Old November 22 2009, 04:42 AM   #1
Warped9
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Age range in dating....

What's your range of age in dating? How much older or younger are you comfortable with?

People can be mature or immature beyond their years. I've known people in their early twenties to be quite mature just as I've known some in their thirties and forties who really needed to grow up.

I would like to distinguish between maturity and being young-at-heart. Being young-at-heart can be expressed as playfulness and retaining a sense of optimism and sense of wonder as opposed to just acting like a child with little self control or awareness beyond self.

I'm a 50 year old man. When I was in my 20s of course I found women of the same age very attractive. Now I can often find them to be almost like children. It isn't that I cannot find any of them physically attractive, but beyond noticing the physical more often than not I find their general behaviour and outlook too limited for me to get seriously interested. It's now a rare women in her 20s that will catch my attention beyond noticing that she might be pretty.

The thing is that it isn't just about maturity. There is the issue of similar values--perhaps something more important than similar interests--and the fact that someone closer to your own age will also more likely share a similar history and life experience. A younger person's knowledge of real world history may likely be something they read in a text book while you actually recall when it happened.

As it is my general cut-off for dating a younger woman would be about 30-35. And candidly I generally would prefer dating someone closer to my own age, and as such a woman in her 40s would be far more likely to catch my interest. Of course, there may always be exceptions.

On the flip side I have to admit a measure of chauvinism. It would be a rare woman to catch my interest if she were much older than two or three years beyond my own age. That said there are a great many women these days who look amazing in their 50s. They're, fit, vital, full of life and yet not burdened by childish girly behaviour. They often have had their shit together for some time.

Thoughts anyone?
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Old November 22 2009, 05:39 AM   #2
bigdaddy
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Re: Age range in dating....

I'm 24 and casually dating a 19 year old.

My range is normally younger than me. I do not act anything close to my age, my family thinks I'm 20-21 until they realize how old their kids are. I act like I'm 15 and I'm aware of that and don't give a fuck. The guy I'm seeing is extremely intelligent, and a nice mixture of mature and young/fun. I see many people 20-26 who act like life is over, it pisses me off. I'm 24 and I act around his age, so we get along fine. We have many different life experiences, he is rich and I am not, religions aren't close, but still he thinks for himself so the views are very different but respectable. However the only Star Trek movie he has seen is the new one! Shame on him.

Age isn't a big deal to me. I have a friend who will be 30 next year and he looks 18-20. If you look good and act in a way I find fun and enjoyable I don't care what the age is, however I normally like younger because that's how I act, but at the same time I find 18-20 year olds boring, or old acting, like they need a husband right now or they will die. That high school is over and so is life, I can't stand that.

So my (Me=24) dating range is 18-26ish depending on the guy.

Also I look better than I did when I was 18-20.
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Old November 22 2009, 06:13 AM   #3
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Re: Age range in dating....

I've been told that when you want to find out what the minimum acceptable age is for a potential partner, you take your own age, divide it by 2, add 7 years, and then voilà -- you have your answer. I have no idea where this notion got started, and it probably isn't the best method to use once you hit your fifties or sixties, but for me, it sounds about right (the number for me being 20).

Generally, I'll say anything in the 20s is fair game. 30/early 30s is pretty much my cutoff point for older than me, and I suppose I could date someone as young as 18 if they were mature enough (or just insanely hot ).

Actually, I tend to go for a bit younger, because, while I like to think I am emotionally and intellectually mature, I don't really feel like I'm quite ready to grow up and face "real life" just yet. Hence, I think it would be best to find someone on the same wavelength -- someone who's not really looking to find a life partner and settle down right now. I'm not at that point yet, so I definitely am not looking for someone who is.
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Old November 22 2009, 06:17 AM   #4
J. Allen
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Re: Age range in dating....

The broadest guidelines by age range alone would be anywhere from 22 - 36. I am 29.
This of course can be tweaked by other factors such as personality, intelligence and emotional stability.
It would not be outside of possibility to date a 19, 20 or 21 year old if they have a nice personality and are intelligent.
It would not be outside the possibility to date a 37, 38, 39 year old if they are emotionally stable and intelligent.

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Old November 22 2009, 06:28 AM   #5
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Re: Age range in dating....

I am 26 and am generally attracted to older men, though the largest age gap between myself and a man I was dating was 6 years (I was 19, he was 25 when we started dating). I think that couples with large age gaps can work just fine, but I have difficulty seeing myself relating to a man more than 10 years older than I am.
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Old November 22 2009, 06:42 AM   #6
Jono
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Re: Age range in dating....

Daneel wrote: View Post
I've been told that when you want to find out what the minimum acceptable age is for a potential partner, you take your own age, divide it by 2, add 7 years, and then voilà -- you have your answer. I have no idea where this notion got started, and it probably isn't the best method to use once you hit your fifties or sixties, but for me, it sounds about right (the number for me being 20).
That's the same for me too. I spent a couple of years on college and seeing wave after wave of just out of high school girls I've decided that I would not date someone under 20.

I tend to find women who are older than me to be more attractive. I'd have no problem with dating someone in their 40s...why is it when I wrote that I thought of Madbaggins? What is wrong with my brain?
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Old November 22 2009, 06:44 AM   #7
Chaos Descending
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Re: Age range in dating....

When I was single, my age range was "Between 18 and Geriatric". Age was not a factor.

I am married now, and my wife is nine years younger than I am.
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Old November 22 2009, 06:59 AM   #8
Shaw
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Re: Age range in dating....

Well, the first girl I ever dated (who ended up being my first wife) was 25 when I met her... but 26 when we started dating (I was 17 by that point). So I've never dated anyone younger than 26.

I started dating my current wife almost 11 years ago (when she was 29) and she was the youngest girl I've been with (relative to my own age) at two years younger than me.

So generally speaking I'd say no one more than 15 years older than me (the oldest I've ever dated relative to my age) and no one younger then 2 years younger than me (unless she is very mature for her age... in which case she need only be over 26).

Girls 26 and younger just aren't ready for serious relationships in my experience (which, of course, doesn't include them).

All of which is completely academic as I (hopefully) will never be in a position where dating is a factor ever again.



Of course if I did end up single again, all bets would be off as you can't predefine who would be your perfect mate by physical statistics. After all, the right person for you is, first and foremost, a person. And some of the greatest persons I've met have come in all forms (and ages).



As a side note, my first wife (when we were still just friends) swore that she would never date any one under the age of 30.
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Old November 22 2009, 07:29 AM   #9
bigdaddy
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Re: Age range in dating....

Daneel wrote: View Post
I've been told that when you want to find out what the minimum acceptable age is for a potential partner, you take your own age, divide it by 2, add 7 years, and then voilà -- you have your answer. I have no idea where this notion got started, and it probably isn't the best method to use once you hit your fifties or sixties, but for me, it sounds about right (the number for me being 20).
It's exactly right to me!
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Old November 22 2009, 07:30 AM   #10
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Re: Age range in dating....

I am 20 and would date someone my own age up to 26. I don't like the idea of going younger.
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Old November 22 2009, 11:05 AM   #11
The Castellan
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Re: Age range in dating....

Don't got a range.
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Old November 22 2009, 12:13 PM   #12
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Re: Age range in dating....

Last time I was together with someone she was 16 soon to be 17 and I was 21. That didn't work out too well, so these days I'd like to keep at least above 18, but realistically and for better mental health it's probably best to cut of at 20 for the lower limit.

As for an upper limit, I've been plenty attracted to several older women in my time so I don't really have an upper limit. If anything I'd say it might be a good idea to not date anyone older then my mom (who just turned 48 a few weeks ago).

Oh and I turn 25 Tuesday.
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Old November 22 2009, 01:47 PM   #13
Finn
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Re: Age range in dating....

For a long time, I had never dated a girl/woman. I really prefered someone still relatively close to me in age, within five or six years. Then 2008 happened. I lost my job. I decided to go back to school. I started in January and within a few weeks, I started dating my now fiancee. She's only four years and four months younger.
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Old November 22 2009, 01:51 PM   #14
RAMA
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Re: Age range in dating....

At my current age, I think 25 to 55 is about where the range would be if I were single. When I was last single I was 31, and I actually dated between 22 and 48.

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Old November 22 2009, 01:54 PM   #15
Kirkman1987
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Re: Age range in dating....

I'm not to particular, as long as I'm getting what I need out of the relationship.

Currently, I'm 22 and living with a 27 year old woman.
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