RSS iconTwitter iconFacebook icon

The Trek BBS title image

The Trek BBS statistics

Threads: 140,160
Posts: 5,434,760
Members: 24,937
Currently online: 610
Newest member: bryanb2014

TrekToday headlines

Two Official Starships Collection Ships
By: T'Bonz on Oct 22

Pine In New Skit
By: T'Bonz on Oct 21

Stewart In Holiday Film
By: T'Bonz on Oct 21

The Red Shirt Diaries #8
By: T'Bonz on Oct 20

IDW Publishing January Comics
By: T'Bonz on Oct 20

Retro Review: Chrysalis
By: Michelle on Oct 18

The Next Generation Season Seven Blu-ray Details
By: T'Bonz on Oct 17

CBS Launches Streaming Service
By: T'Bonz on Oct 17

Yelchin In New Indie Thriller
By: T'Bonz on Oct 17

Saldana In The Book of Life
By: T'Bonz on Oct 17


Welcome! The Trek BBS is the number one place to chat about Star Trek with like-minded fans. Please login to see our full range of forums as well as the ability to send and receive private messages, track your favourite topics and of course join in the discussions.

If you are a new visitor, join us for free. If you are an existing member please login below. Note: for members who joined under our old messageboard system, please login with your display name not your login name.


Go Back   The Trek BBS > Star Trek Fandom > Fan Fiction

Fan Fiction Other forums talk about Trek. We make it.

Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old December 22 2009, 01:26 AM   #91
Supreme Dittodrone
Vice Admiral
 
Supreme Dittodrone's Avatar
 
Location: Rush Limborg is regenerating on The EIB Network
Re: Star Trek: A Rendezvous With Destiny--A Tale of Captain Ezri Dax

All righty, folks. For Christmas week, I will put up three entries--a long scene today, a short one Tuesday, and a long one Wednesday. I sure hope they'll keep you satisfied.

Now...my promise in the very beginning, to delve deep into who Ezri is as a person, will for the most part come together in these scenes. Call this "trilogy" the climax of the tale, if you will.

Here, then, is the first scene, as Spock has a big heart-to-heart with our girl. It's at night, of course--I'd think it's an unofficial literary tradition that heart-to-hearts happen at night.

Anyway, there's a couple literary quotes in here: One's from Shakespere's Twelfth Night, and the other's from the Bible. No need to look for them--they aren't exactly hidden. At any rate...I hope you will like the touch.


Star Trek: Aventine
A Rendezvous With Destiny
Scene 17

By the time night fell, the fire was roaring away. The two sat down, their backs to the shuttle, a few feet apart from each other, warming themselves by the flames.

Ezri pulled out from a travel bag a few small packages. She handed one to Spock, after checking to confirm it was vegetarian. “Field rations.”

He took it, nodding. “Thank you, Captain.”

“Sure.”

They ate in silence. Ezri had often noticed how fellow Starfleet officers tended to complain about field rations—the flavor, the consistency, and so on. She, however, was indifferent—she preferred “full” meals, but these packs were better than nothing.

Another memory came to her—on Goralis, when Worf had brought to their camp a dead animal—courtesy of the hunt. When she had failed to acknowledge his antics with respect, he’d complained how sick he was of what they’d had to eat for six days—“I killed it, and now I am going to eat it. If you do not want any…than have some more field rations.”

Ah, well…simpler times, I guess….

Finally, Ezri looked up, towards the sky…and felt a smile come to her face. “Look.”

Spock followed her gaze. “Yes?”

“The stars are coming out.”

Spock paused for a moment. “Naturally…. Do you, then, feel a sense of wonder when you see them from the surface of a world?”

Ezri nodded. “I suppose….”

She focused on them for a while longer, and sighed. She turned to look at Spock. “Spock…do you know where my name comes from…by any chance?”

Spock considered the question. “I assume, from the context…that it involves the stars?”

Ezri smiled, and nodded.

“May I ask then…what it means, specifically?”

Ezri had a suspicion that Spock was capable of answering this himself—courtesy of their meld. But…he probably knew that she wanted to tell him herself. And so…she did.

“Well, it’s…from the Trill word ‘Ihs'ree’.”

Spock frowned. “I…am not familiar with that term.”

Ezri leaned forward. “It means…‘Evening Star’.”

Spock nodded. “Indeed.”

Ezri leaned back, against the shuttle. “My father gave that name to me. I hadn’t really known what it meant…until I visited him, on Trill, some years after he’d left. The first evening, he brought me outside…and told me he was going to show me ‘my’ star.”

She sighed, still smiling at the memory. “It wasn’t hard…Ihs’ree’s always the first star to appear in the sky above Trill. It’s the brightest, too…so it’s also the last one to disappear in the morning….”

“It is not a planet? For humans, that same moniker is often given to Venus.”

Ezri chuckled. “No…it’s not a planet, Spock.”

“Then…do you know what its standard identification is?”

She shook her head. “A random string of numbers and letters, likely as not. Honestly…I’ve never bothered to find out. Somehow…I’m afraid that it’ll lose some of the romance…if I ever do.”

She turned to him. “Despite that…I think I would have found out by now, if it really did have another name.”

Spock nodded. “Probably.”

Ezri looked off for a moment. She remembered…after she had returned home from her visit, she had told Norvo what she had learned. Without a second thought, her brother had set to work writing a small poem, using the meaning of her name as the central theme.

Many years later…he’d quoted the poem after her return, that fateful week, as he raised a glass of Saurian Brandy in toast. “To my sister…‘A shining angel…in a dark sky’….

She turned to Spock. “So…what does your name mean?”

Spock looked like he was going to smile, as well. “As you may be aware, the structure of the names of Vulcan males involves sharing their beginning and/or ending sounds with those of the name of Surak. If you…reverse this influence on the name ‘Spock’, you have the Vulcan word for…‘One Who Unites’.”

Ezri nodded in admiration. “Well…I guess that was a bit of a prophecy…wouldn’t you say?”

“Frankly, Captain, it was due in part to my being the first Vulcan-human hybrid to survive infancy. However, I do see…the possible validity of your assertion. After all…my father chose that name, after one of Vulcan’s most noted historical figures—a ruler, who had assisted Surak in implementing his reforms.”

“Funny…I’d have thought you’d dismiss my question right away.”

“Dismiss…the concept of prophecy?”

Ezri shrugged. “Basically.”

“Captain…supernatural concepts are not foreign to Vulcan philosophy—the claims of many modern academics notwithstanding. Surak himself, in fact, wrote on such notions as ‘fate’ a great deal. He often pointed out that…the Time of Awakening that he had initiated…occurred at precisely the right era in our history. Had his reforms been proposed in an earlier time…they would have been rejected, on the grounds that they were wholly unnecessary.”

Ezri nodded, understanding. “And had they come later…”

“…Our race would have already destroyed itself, through war.”

Ezri stared at the fire, considering this. But Spock was not through.

“Perhaps…Ezri…your name is predictive, as well.”

She turned to him. “What do you mean?”

“Consider: The star Ihs’ree begins to shine…amid the coming of darkness. And being the first…it shines the brightest through the long hours of the night. It draws the most attention—and therefore…the most praise.”

“You…mean…”

Spock nodded. “Ezri…you had noted how the many survivors of the Borg assault…treat you with nothing less than the greatest respect. They cheer you…they cry out their thanks to you…because you represent, to them…a beacon of hope, whose light will help them face the darkness.”

Ezri’s gaze fell to the ground. “Well…you don’t see them cheering on Picard or Riker like that….”

Spock reflected on this for a moment. “Perhaps…that is due to the fact that you are…younger than Picard or Riker.”

Ezri looked up. “Excuse me?”

Spock paused for a moment, and explained, “The Federation is somewhat…used to Captain Picard, and the rest. Such leaders are the seasoned heroes…the ones who have been ‘put on a pedestal’, as it were, for many years. In effect, they are…the heroes of yesterday.”

Ezri raised her eyebrows in amusement. “You’re saying everyone’s…bored with them?”

“I am saying that…they have been known as heroes for much of their respective lives. Thus, the public becomes…desensitized to them, as time goes on—and begins to take them for granted. It is an unfortunate fact…but a constant of life, nonetheless.”

“And…what does that make me?”

“You…are, in effect, the first leader…of a new generation. To return to the ‘evening star’ analogy, those stars you see as the darkness falls…are the leaders—the heroes to come, those who are inspired by your example—those who have the potential…to herald the coming dawn.”

Ezri shook her head. Spock’s words were getting pretty hard to handle. “My—my example?”

“From what I have…seen…of your life, Ezri…you are one with whom the people can readily identify. You have struggled—and you have triumphed…by holding true to yourself…and, as you have put it, by simply ‘doing the best you can’. And because of that—you have risen the soonest of all…and therefore, you shine the brightest of all.”

That was it. Ezri’s hand shot up. “Spock—please. You’re talking about me like…you want to put me on a pedestal of my own. This…greatness you keep trying to label me with…it’s not my kind of thing.”

“Perhaps it is not meant to be. Ezri…there is an old human maxim: ‘Be not afraid of greatness. Some are born into greatness…some achieve greatness…and some…have greatness thrust upon them.’”

Ezri frowned. “I…suppose that’s true….”

Spock nodded. “Indeed it is. Now…all are heroes—or heroines—in a sense, but I propose that the greatest of them all…is this last—the reluctant one.”

Ezri swallowed. “Why is that?”

Spock looked her in the eye, his gaze piercing down to her innermost spirit. “Because…the reluctant heroine…is one who sees the responsibility before her…and rather than see it as an achievement to boast about…she accepts this responsibility with humility…and vows to herself to be worthy of that which is bestowed upon her…and thus, to be true to who she is, and what she could be.”

Ezri turned away, staring at the flames.

“Ezri…you look around you…and you see others praise you. It is good that you are humbled by this—you prove yourself to be incorruptible…to be one who does not wish to be the symbol of anything—who is simply herself—and is content to allow history to make its own judgments.”

Ezri sighed, and felt an ironic smile appear on her face. You just don’t give up, do you? “All right, Spock…let’s talk about my history. Do you realize that I almost sacrificed my ship in a stupid gamble—that I almost destroyed any chance we had to defeat the Borg?”

“I do not. Perhaps…you could enlighten me?”

She turned to him. “What you don’t read in all those reports…is that when the invasion began, I had the Aventine set a course for Earth…to help defend it against them. It was suicidal—and completely useless. Fortunately, Picard was able to convince me to stand down…and turn around. If it hadn’t been for him—stopping me—we wouldn’t have been able to…do what we did, later, and—”

“Captain…I do know that the plans you—and Hernandez—later devised…the plans which eventually eliminated the threat…were also resisted by Picard, as he had considered them to be…too risky.”

“How…how do you know that?” We didn’t put that in the reports, either….

“Picard told me himself, some weeks ago. He was…quite adamant in admitting his errors to me. At any rate…in that instance, the positions were reversed—you had been right, and he had been wrong.”

Ezri sighed again, picked up a stick, and poked at the fire. “What happened later doesn’t change a thing, Spock. I let my feelings overcome my judgment—again. And do you know why?”

Spock’s voice had a tone of resignation. “Because…you are a Dax.”

Ezri nodded, and finished in a whisper. “And sometimes…I don’t think. I just…do….”

“Ezri…you say that as if you despise yourself for it. I assure you, such a trait is nothing…to be ashamed of.”

She snorted. “This coming from a man who prides himself on logic….”

“Ezri… indeed, throughout those events, Captain Picard thought…a great deal. But logic suggests that, in the instances I mentioned, such thinking was not warranted. Then were the times to put aside ‘thinking’, albeit temporarily…and take the chances you had.”

Ezri paused, wondering about this. “Maybe so…but as far as I’m concerned…sometimes, the cost is too much for me to handle.”

Is it?”

She nodded. “Yes…it is.”

She realized, then, that she wasn’t only speaking of the incident with the Borg. No…how many times had she acted on her feelings—and how many times…had she paid dearly for that…?

If only you knew, Spock…if only I could bring myself to tell you….

Spock frowned. “Perhaps—”

Ezri turned to him, and tried to smile. “Spock…you know, it’s like…you’re saying all those things, in order to help me…so I can get back on my feet.”

“Perhaps I am.”

She shook her head in bewilderment. “Why? You don’t know me—­­”

“I do now.”

“But still…we’re not really friends…”

Spock stared at her, and a smile of his own played on his face.

Ezri froze, and she felt her eyes widen a little. “…are we?”

Spock raised an eyebrow. “Do…you wish to be?”

Ezri hesitated for a moment, and chuckled. “Well, I…”

“Perhaps…we all require a friend, for such times as these…when we would otherwise be alone. Ezri…are you familiar with the human Bible…specifically, Ecclesiastes?”

Ezri smiled. “The ‘everything’s meaningless’ part, or the ‘time and place for everything’ part?”

Spock paused for a second, and quoted, “‘…Two are better than one…. If one falls down, his friend can help him up….”

Ezri nodded. “‘But…pity the one who falls, and has no one…to help him up.’”

“Of course…that is not specific to gender.”

Ezri chuckled, and rolled her eyes. “I guess not…”

And then, Spock’s gaze intensified, as he stared her in the eye. “And…‘Also, if two lie together, they will keep warm…but how…can one keep warm alone?’”

Ezri felt her smile vanish, as Spock’s words hit home. He knows…or at least, he has a good idea what’s wrong…what’s bothering me….

He saw her reaction. “Captain—”

Spock…” Ezri turned away, and after a moment, turned back, “I’m getting tired. Why don’t we…talk more in the morning?”

Spock stared at her for a moment. Finally, he nodded—and set to work laying out his cot.

Ezri felt like kicking herself. But she went to work on her own cot. And then…she lay down, staring up at the stars…until she closed her eyes…and fell asleep, one thought lingering in her mind.

“Ezri…you always were too proud for your own good….


* * *
__________________
"I have been wounded but not yet slain. I shall lie here and bleed awhile. Then I shall rise and fight again."

"Forget it, Jake...it's Chinatown."
Supreme Dittodrone is offline   Reply With Quote
Old December 22 2009, 01:58 AM   #92
kes7
Fleet Captain
 
kes7's Avatar
 
Location: Sector 001
Re: Star Trek: A Rendezvous With Destiny--A Tale of Captain Ezri Dax

I'm quite sure Spock was talking about Bashir just now, but for a full second, I was like, "Is Spock HITTING on her?"

Other than that bit of amusement, this was very nicely done. It felt like a real conversation, not merely an excuse to delve into Ezri's head. It wasn't forced. Her recollections of her brother and her father and her name and the star were very sweet and felt genuine. I have to admit I'm utterly lost regarding the Borg stuff because I haven't read the Aventine books, but I gather she saved a lot of people and is having trouble coming to terms with her newfound galactic celebrity? I thought Spock made an interesting point about her being the first of a new generation of Federation heroes ... though having the Dax symbiont onboard negates that a little, at least for me.

Anyway, I liked this section very much. You do these quiet character moments very, very well.
__________________
"I suggest you surrender. Kes does not have a stun setting!" (KingDaniel)
Ad Astra :: Star Trek Fanfiction Archive
kes7 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old December 22 2009, 02:10 AM   #93
tenmei
Fleet Captain
 
Location: Manchester, UK
Re: Star Trek: A Rendezvous With Destiny--A Tale of Captain Ezri Dax

Kes7, if you've not read the Destiny Trilogy (and the subsequent A Singular Destiny) then you really ought to give them a go, they're very good and Ezri and the crew of the Aventine are an interesting bunch of characters.

Rush, another very good chapter - the dialogue sparked and I could, as always, hear both characters speaking those lines in my head. Especially Nimoy's Spock - you've definitely got his voice down well.
__________________
Follow my literary odyssey at 52 Weeks, 26 Books ...
tenmei is offline   Reply With Quote
Old December 22 2009, 02:13 AM   #94
Supreme Dittodrone
Vice Admiral
 
Supreme Dittodrone's Avatar
 
Location: Rush Limborg is regenerating on The EIB Network
Re: Star Trek: A Rendezvous With Destiny--A Tale of Captain Ezri Dax

kes7 wrote: View Post
I'm quite sure Spock was talking about Bashir just now, but for a full second, I was like, "Is Spock HITTING on her?"
Wow--I wasn't intending that thought, but...whew.

Other than that bit of amusement, this was very nicely done. It felt like a real conversation, not merely an excuse to delve into Ezri's head. It wasn't forced. Her recollections of her brother and her father and her name and the star were very sweet and felt genuine.
Thank you, very much.

BTW...the name thing was a little homage to Biblical tradition--the importance of names, and how they can be predictive. The star element was, basically, the romantic in me revealing itself.

And...for those who are wondering, the meaning of Spock's name is a tradition, as brought up by Leonard Nimoy himself in I Am Spock.

I have to admit I'm utterly lost regarding the Borg stuff because I haven't read the Aventine books, but I gather she saved a lot of people and is having trouble coming to terms with her newfound galactic celebrity?
Basically--although, if you read the Destiny trilogy, at the end of part two, she makes the "stupid gamble" she talks about. Picard's mistake, of course, is in part three. She's listing reasons for her trouble with coming to terms--so, yes, it's basically what you said.

I thought Spock made an interesting point about her being the first of a new generation of Federation heroes ... though having the Dax symbiont onboard negates that a little, at least for me.

Anyway, I liked this section very much. You do these quiet character moments very, very well.
Thanks again, kes7.

Rush, another very good chapter - the dialogue sparked and I could, as always, hear both characters speaking those lines in my head. Especially Nimoy's Spock - you've definitely got his voice down well.
Thank you, too, tenmei.
__________________
"I have been wounded but not yet slain. I shall lie here and bleed awhile. Then I shall rise and fight again."

"Forget it, Jake...it's Chinatown."

Last edited by Supreme Dittodrone; December 22 2009 at 03:38 AM.
Supreme Dittodrone is offline   Reply With Quote
Old December 22 2009, 02:55 AM   #95
KimMH
Rear Admiral
 
KimMH's Avatar
 
Location: The poster formerly known as ORSE
Re: Star Trek: A Rendezvous With Destiny--A Tale of Captain Ezri Dax

Very lovely bit of collective introspection. Almost not possible w/o the meld or a very very long history together. It really helps conceptualize the depth of the meld.

I very much look forward to your next chapter!
__________________
Just one woman; doing what I can, with what I've got, where I'm at!
KimMH is offline   Reply With Quote
Old December 22 2009, 03:19 AM   #96
Nerys Ghemor
Vice Admiral
 
Nerys Ghemor's Avatar
 
Location: Cardăsa Terăm--Nerys Ghemor
Re: Star Trek: A Rendezvous With Destiny--A Tale of Captain Ezri Dax

I LOVE how you talk about Spock allowing a slight smile...again, that's the Spock we saw in Trek XI who is at peace with himself--both halves of himself, and has actually found a middle way. Furthermore...he also seems to exercise compassion in a way that is most common with the emotional species, even if he's very subtle in it.

And that's also a good point about how the "Dax" trait can be used in a good way. As someone else reminded me, that's kind of like Kirk. (Though much more likeable in her since it's without the arrogance or the...uh...female equivalent of womanizing, which I felt Jadzia and Curzon did sometimes. Personal pet theory--Ezri fears being overrun by the other personalities because Jadzia ended up being overrun by Curzon.)

Oh, and I FINALLY read Destiny last week. I'd say this fits quite well. (Even though I STILL disagree with Pocket Books' decision to promote Ezri this fast.)
__________________
Are you a Cardassian fan, citizen? Prove your loyalty--check out my fanfic universe, Star Trek: Sigils and Unions. Or keep the faith on my AU Cardassia, Sigils and Unions: Catacombs of Oralius!
Nerys Ghemor is offline   Reply With Quote
Old December 22 2009, 03:33 AM   #97
Supreme Dittodrone
Vice Admiral
 
Supreme Dittodrone's Avatar
 
Location: Rush Limborg is regenerating on The EIB Network
Re: Star Trek: A Rendezvous With Destiny--A Tale of Captain Ezri Dax

Noel Ghemor wrote: View Post
I LOVE how you talk about Spock allowing a slight smile...again, that's the Spock we saw in Trek XI who is at peace with himself--both halves of himself, and has actually found a middle way. Furthermore...he also seems to exercise compassion in a way that is most common with the emotional species, even if he's very subtle in it.
Yuppers!

And that's also a good point about how the "Dax" trait can be used in a good way. As someone else reminded me, that's kind of like Kirk. (Though much more likeable in her since it's without the arrogance or the...uh...female equivalent of womanizing, which I felt Jadzia and Curzon did sometimes. Personal pet theory--Ezri fears being overrun by the other personalities because Jadzia ended up being overrun by Curzon.)
Hmm...maybe--and that's actually ironic, since I actually interperet her mis-chararacterization in the DS9 relaunch as a period when she was overrun...and yes, she subconciously fears it happening again....

Oh, and I FINALLY read Destiny last week. I'd say this fits quite well. (Even though I STILL disagree with Pocket Books' decision to promote Ezri this fast.)
Thanks! (Personally, I have less of a problem--but to be sure, as you may recall, I DID have Spock, in an early scene, remark that Ezri's the youngest captain in Starfleet history. Consider it my compromise between the unusual speed of promotion and how much I feel she deserves it....)


Very lovely bit of collective introspection. Almost not possible w/o the meld or a very very long history together. It really helps conceptualize the depth of the meld.

I very much look forward to your next chapter!
Thanks, mate!
__________________
"I have been wounded but not yet slain. I shall lie here and bleed awhile. Then I shall rise and fight again."

"Forget it, Jake...it's Chinatown."
Supreme Dittodrone is offline   Reply With Quote
Old December 22 2009, 03:48 AM   #98
Nerys Ghemor
Vice Admiral
 
Nerys Ghemor's Avatar
 
Location: Cardăsa Terăm--Nerys Ghemor
Re: Star Trek: A Rendezvous With Destiny--A Tale of Captain Ezri Dax

You're welcome! BTW, I think you'll like the PM I sent you!
__________________
Are you a Cardassian fan, citizen? Prove your loyalty--check out my fanfic universe, Star Trek: Sigils and Unions. Or keep the faith on my AU Cardassia, Sigils and Unions: Catacombs of Oralius!
Nerys Ghemor is offline   Reply With Quote
Old December 23 2009, 03:37 AM   #99
Supreme Dittodrone
Vice Admiral
 
Supreme Dittodrone's Avatar
 
Location: Rush Limborg is regenerating on The EIB Network
Re: Star Trek: A Rendezvous With Destiny--A Tale of Captain Ezri Dax

Okay. Now, the short scene--a transition scene, from Spock's POV. However, this isn't merely a reflection scene, as you will see. Be prepared for an homage to an important Ezri moment from DS9....


Star Trek: Aventine
A Rendezvous With Destiny
Scene 18

Spock was a rather light sleeper—which was an especially useful asset in the underground unification movement. Thus…he was able to hear a voice in the darkness.

He opened his eyes, and sat up. It took him a short time before he realized that…the voice was that of Ezri Dax.

He turned to her cot. She was lying there, asleep—but he could hear words escaping her lips… whispered words of whatever dreams she was facing. Her tone was…one of uncertainty.

II can’t. He can’tunderstandnot really. I can’t…”

Spock walked over to her, and sat down, so that he looked down into her face. Part of him told him that he should not be doing this—that this was, in effect, eavesdropping. However…he had a growing suspicion that…he had caused this.

It was clear, if the nights in the shuttle were any indication, that this was a woman who did not talk in her sleep—not as a rule. Therefore…this was due to a great emotional stress…one which was letting itself out, here.

The expression on her face changed—to sadness…regret. Her lip quivered, and she began to shake her head slightly. “II’m sorry. It’smy faultmy fault. Ihurt you…. I didn’t realize…. I’msorry….”

Spock frowned. He went through his memories of his conversations with the girl…including the mindmeld—and the moment before it had broken. He had made a vague connection immediately after the meld, which he had tested this evening with his scriptural quotation…but now he was almost completely certain of his theory.

If it truly is what I think…than that is why she is reluctant to speak of it. That is why…she fears I can never understand.

Despite himself, Spock placed a hand on Ezri’s shoulder. It was illogical—she was dreaming, and thus, would be unconscious of the gesture of support. But he did it nonetheless.

Suddenly…as if in response to his touch…her face relaxed. Her lips parted…and she smiled.

She had a look of such peace…such serenity….

Such…radiance….

Julian…” she whispered, in a tone that spoke of such an undying, passionate joy…and love…. “Juliankiss me.”

Yes… Spock thought to himself. I was correct. I know what is wrong, Ezri…and yes…I do understand.

I understand…everything….


* * *
__________________
"I have been wounded but not yet slain. I shall lie here and bleed awhile. Then I shall rise and fight again."

"Forget it, Jake...it's Chinatown."
Supreme Dittodrone is offline   Reply With Quote
Old December 23 2009, 03:50 AM   #100
tenmei
Fleet Captain
 
Location: Manchester, UK
Re: Star Trek: A Rendezvous With Destiny--A Tale of Captain Ezri Dax

An interesting scene, Rush. Can't wait for the ensuing, longer, scene to roll round tommorow evening.
__________________
Follow my literary odyssey at 52 Weeks, 26 Books ...
tenmei is offline   Reply With Quote
Old December 24 2009, 02:16 AM   #101
Supreme Dittodrone
Vice Admiral
 
Supreme Dittodrone's Avatar
 
Location: Rush Limborg is regenerating on The EIB Network
Re: Star Trek: A Rendezvous With Destiny--A Tale of Captain Ezri Dax

^And...here it comes.

Here we are, folks. Here is the big one, in which the remainder of Ezri's inner conflict is finally brought fully into the light. Note that it heavily refers to the events of the DS9 relaunch. So, without futher ado....


Star Trek: Aventine
A Rendezvous With Destiny
Scene 18

When Ezri awoke, the sun wasn’t even up. Must be the hard cot…or the temperature…or something.

She sat up. Spock was sitting on his own cot…strumming his lyre.

She smiled. “Good morning.”

Spock nodded in her direction. “Good morning.”

He was studying her again. She was not going to let him get away with it.

“All right, Spock. What is it?”

“Captain?”

“Don’t give me that. You keep staring at me. Am I really that…fascinating?”

“Ezri…I do not have to remind you of our previous conversation.”

Ezri frowned. “No…not at all.”

“Than you know that…the answer is ‘yes’.”

She chuckled, as she stood up. “Right…”

Spock watched her, as if studying her reaction. “Captain…you do realize that you are hurting yourself.”

Ezri blinked, fighting to keep from showing what she was feeling. “I…am?”

Spock nodded, as he set down his lyre. “You are. Each day you refuse to confront the pain within…makes it more difficult to face.”

Ezri frowned. I’m aware of that, Spock. I was a counselor…. Still,she remembered…something she got from the mindmeld…. “Is that something you learned from your brother?”

Spock looked off for a moment. “Perhaps. However…I am also speaking from experience. You recall your inquiries as to my…bond…which I had temporarily broken.”

Ezri nodded. “The bond with your mother.”

“Yes. And, Ezri…forgive my boldness…but you seem to have severed a bond yourself—”

Ezri shook her head. “Spock, please. I can’t talk about this.”

Spock said nothing…just stared.

Ezri tried to explain. “Understand…I want to, but…but I…”

Spock nodded. “You…are afraid that, regardless of my experiences…I could never fully understand.”

Ezri sighed, and turned away.

“Ezri…you always were too proud—”

Spock rose. “Ezri…you must allow me to help you. It is I who unveiled this conflict within you, and therefore, it is I who must assist you in your recovery.”

“Spock, you can’t understand—”

His voice turned firm. “Try me!”

Ezri whirled to face him. Her eyes narrowed in frustration. “All right, Spock. You know that speech of yours last night—all that talk about how great and noble I am?”

“Yes—I do.”

“Well…if you knew what it was, this ‘conflict’ of mine—the little thing I’ve been trying to talk to you about, but couldn’t—than maybe—”

“Ezri…I know what you have been trying to tell me.”

She froze. Her lip quivered. “You…do?”

“Logic…can offer no other conclusion.”

For a moment, Ezri considered telling him to drop it. She knew Spock would respect her wish. But…she also knew that, if she did…she would only be hurting herself.

You can do this, Ezri…you can go through this. It’s time.

She swallowed, and nodded for him to continue.

“Clearly…six years ago, you began a relationship—with Dr. Julian Bashir, of Deep Space Nine.”

Ezri’s heart skipped a beat, but she gathered her courage, and answered. “Yes.”

Spock paused, and his featured softened…as did his tone. “The two of you…were very much in love.”

Ezri nodded again. A tear came to her eye…and she spoke in a whisper. “Yes…

“And…you came to sever that relationship, as the path you had chosen…led you apart.”

Ezri shook her head. “Spock…I…”

He frowned. “That is not…entirely accurate?”

Ezri turned away. “We’d…better sit down.”

They did so—right next to each other. She gathered her thoughts…willed herself to bring her feelings out…and began.

“Look…the trouble started a few months after the war ended. A rouge Jem’Hadar force attacked the station…and the Defiant was sent to stop them. I was forced to take command, and…I found myself relying on my memories of Dax’s past hosts. After it was all over, I began to…channel those memories, more and more. I came to realize that…I had within me…an opportunity—to do more than I had ever thought possible.”

Spock nodded. “That was when you transferred to command track.”

Ezri smiled. “I don’t remember going that far in the meld…”

“I was…guessing.”

She chuckled. “All right.” She grew serious again, “Anyway…around that time…I was…alone with Julian. Without thinking…I channeled Jadzia…and, as you can imagine…he was shocked.”

“Naturally.”

Ezri shook her head. “I became…defensive…accused him of refusing to accept me as I was. He stormed out. For a short time, we were strained, but…then, when he was attacked, and almost died…I realized that, no matter what…I still loved him. And after he recovered…we reconciled, right away.”

Spock nodded. “However…”

“However…it didn’t really end there, did it? I still explored my past hosts…still looked for ways to integrate them into my life. One time…when the Defiant was out on a three-month mission in the Gamma Quadrant…I wanted to lead an away team on a diplomatic mission, to help end a civil war.”

Ezri smiled ironically. “I told myself, ‘Oh, it’ll be simple. Lela Dax was a politician—Curzon was a diplomat. Of course I could do this.’”

She felt her smile vanish, as the next memory came. “But, Julian…became worried, and tried to get me to reconsider…and to not put my life in danger. I…got angry at him, and accused him of not respecting me—and what I could do.”

She sighed. “But that wasn’t it. It never was. He was just…worried…afraid that I was letting those memories control me…and they were. He had…tried to warn me…and I…I hated it!”

Ezri stopped, blinking away a tear. She had, for so long, denied this simple fact. To face it now was so painful…but…she knew she had no choice.

Spock asked, “Did you…reconcile then, as well?”

“We did—after the mission cut me down to size a bit. But…finally…he and I went to Trill, later that year—shortly after the parasite crisis. There was…a terrorist group that was causing trouble….”

Spock nodded. “That was when the moratorium on joining was ordered.”

“Right. I wanted to…well, to make a long story short…I wanted to get to the bottom of things. Julian was worried that…the risk would be too great…for me, and for Trill.” Ezri stiffened. “Guess what happened.”

Spock nodded again. “You brushed his warnings aside….”

“Yes…I did—over and over. And when it was all done—as we returned to the station afterwards…Julian and I talked…and when I pressed him, again, he admitted that…he was worried that—that he was becoming less important to me.”

Her mother’s words came to Ezri once again. “Ezri…you always were—”

Spock frowned. “Was his reasoning…valid?”

“I didn’t bother to think about it—not really. I found myself changing the subject—to Jadzia…my previous host. I brought up…the feelings he’d had for her.”

Ezri swallowed. She fought down her feelings, and continued, “I led myself—and him—to believe that he didn’t really love me—that it was Jadzia that he’d loved—and that I was just the next best thing.”

“I assume…that was not the truth.”

Ezri shook her head. “No…it wasn’t. But it was so convenient. And so…we told ourselves that we’d grown…farther and farther apart…and that we just weren’t right for each other, any more.”

There, she mused, I’ve said it. It’s done, now…isn’t it?

Spock’s frown deepened. “Ezri…there is more to this…is there not?”

Ezri froze for a moment. Was there more?

And then…the answer came to her, as she suddenly remembered—that fateful conversation with Joran, not so long ago…his accusations, his gloating, her denial….

She nodded. She brought her knees close to her chest, resting her arms on them. “Spock, it wasn’t until…recently…that, looking back, I realized what was really going on. It was…”

She closed her eyes. Let it out, Ezri…let it out.

“I…I had been so sure…that with Dax inside of me—with all the experience…all the knowledge…that I could do anything. And…whenever he showed concern about that—I saw him as a wall. I thought he was holding me back, but at the same time…I knew he wasn’t…not really. I knew he did all that…because he…he truly cared about me.” She fought a tear, as her lip quivered. “…because…he loved me….”

Spock said nothing.

Ezri shook her head. “And I…I drove him away for it. I hurt him, Spock. I was so addicted to those memories…that I hurt him, for daring to remind me of reality. I got mad at him. I tried to guilt him. I shoved him aside. I hurt him…” and she opened her eyes, and looked off, into the distance, “…because I wasn’t thinking. Because…I’m a Dax. Sometimes, I don’t think. Sometimes…I just…I just…”

She lowered her head, resting her eyes on her arm…and let the tears come, moistening her sleeve. She heard Spock, in a tone of compassion, finish what she had begun.

“You just…do.”

Ezri did not respond. She just sat there, shaking her head…as the tears continued to fall. Oh, Julian…Julian…what have I done to you? How can I ever…make it up to you…after all this? How can you ever forgive me? How can I…forgive myself?

She heard Spock’s voice…in a tone that spoke of full understanding.

“Ezri…is that why you refuse to trust yourself?”

She looked up at this. His question filled her heart, and her mind. Yes…it is, Spock. How many times did that smug little ego of mine…clash with him like that? How many times did he express his worry about…about what I would become, if I wasn’t careful?

How many times…did he turn out to be right?

“Spock…” Ezri managed to whisper, “Understand…I’ve accepted how much the symbiont is a part of me. I’ve…reached the balance I needed to. But…the worst part is…looking back, I was reaching that balance, then…and if I had stayed with him…if I had been patient, for just a little longer…those problems would have been over, and we would have…recovered. But I panicked. I acted too soon—and now…I have to live with that mistake.”

“Ezri…you are not infallible, any more than I am. Perhaps…in a sense, that unfortunate train of events assisted you…in rediscovering that fact. And indeed…perhaps that experience assisted in shaping you…into what you are, today.”

Ezri said nothing. Somehow…his words reminded her…of something she had once said. “Worf…we’re not gods…or prophets. We’re people. We make mistakes….

Spock continued, “You know…that you cannot change the past. However…you can use your experience, and the lessons you have learned from it, to better prepare for the future. Perhaps…your loss has taught you to never take for granted…the things you have been given.”

Ezri nodded. “Yes…it did.”

“Then let me ask you this: Do you still believe…that you must ‘do the best you can’?”

She nodded again. “I do.”

She heard Spock lean forward. “And…Ezri…do you still love him?”

Ezri looked up. She had found herself silently asking that question many times, whenever her gaze fell on that little blue sculpture. And…the answer was always the same.

Another tear came to her eye, but it came with a smile. “Yes. And…I always will.”

And with that admission…Ezri Dax felt as if the last of her burden had been lifted off her shoulders. She felt as if…as if the confidence she had lost when the meld had broken…had now been restored within her.

She heard Spock’s reply. “Then…perhaps this is yet another opportunity…to ‘do the best you can’.”

Ezri sighed, and turned to him. “Spock…I know. And…when I finally realized what I had done, I made a promise to myself: that somehow…I would find a way to make it up to him.”

“Indeed. I assume, then, that you intend to fulfill that promise.”

She nodded. “I do. But…I just don’t know how.”

Spock looked off. “Perhaps, not, Captain. However…I feel confident that you will find a way.”

Ezri grinned. “You…‘feel’…?

Spock turned to her, and raised an eyebrow. “Yes.”

Ezri laughed, and turned to see the sunrise.


* * *
__________________
"I have been wounded but not yet slain. I shall lie here and bleed awhile. Then I shall rise and fight again."

"Forget it, Jake...it's Chinatown."
Supreme Dittodrone is offline   Reply With Quote
Old December 24 2009, 03:25 AM   #102
tenmei
Fleet Captain
 
Location: Manchester, UK
Re: Star Trek: A Rendezvous With Destiny--A Tale of Captain Ezri Dax

Well, that certainly lived up to the promise of the preceeding chapters - it's nice to see that Ezri has begun to move forwards by being able to admit her feelings to Spock and, hopefully, find a resolution to them.
__________________
Follow my literary odyssey at 52 Weeks, 26 Books ...
tenmei is offline   Reply With Quote
Old December 28 2009, 08:44 AM   #103
Deranged Nasat
Vice Admiral
 
Deranged Nasat's Avatar
 
Location: I am here. You are here too. Yes.
Re: Star Trek: A Rendezvous With Destiny--A Tale of Captain Ezri Dax

I really like the way you portray both Ezri and Spock. The conversation about the meaning of their names was fascinating (such topics always interest me), and as others have mentioned it was very convincing both as a genuine conversation and as an exploration of their characters. Spock's analysis of Ezri's new "celebrity" status was also really engaging- in fact, I hope the upcoming Aventine novel explores something like this. I love how you're turning the possible criticisms and weaknesses of the Dax promotion into strengths, by highlighting her youth and related traits as part of the reason she has captured the imagination of the people she saved. As others have pointed out upthread, it's nice to see the fanciful aspect of her character again, alongside her new "commanding" aspects rather than having been replaced by them. It makes her convincing both as the Ezri we remember and as a complex character.

This is a strong character piece, and you're really making good use of the Ezri Dax/Spock concept.

Oh, and Ihs'ree does sound like a Trill word- it fits into their established language nicely.
__________________
We are all the sum of our tears. Too little and the ground is not fertile and nothing can grow there; too much, the best of us is washed away.
Deranged Nasat is offline   Reply With Quote
Old December 28 2009, 03:21 PM   #104
The Badger
Fleet Captain
 
The Badger's Avatar
 
Location: Im in ur Tardis, violating ur canon.
Re: Star Trek: A Rendezvous With Destiny--A Tale of Captain Ezri Dax

Despite not being familiar with the DS9 relaunch novels I easily picked up what I needed to know from this. So, good work on plot exposition there!

(I assume though that it was a rogue group of Jem'Hadar that attacked, not a rouge group. Unless they've started wearing make up )

Once again, I can hear the actors speaking as I read this. Great work.
The Badger is offline   Reply With Quote
Old December 28 2009, 04:13 PM   #105
Supreme Dittodrone
Vice Admiral
 
Supreme Dittodrone's Avatar
 
Location: Rush Limborg is regenerating on The EIB Network
Re: Star Trek: A Rendezvous With Destiny--A Tale of Captain Ezri Dax

tenmei wrote: View Post
Well, that certainly lived up to the promise of the preceeding chapters - it's nice to see that Ezri has begun to move forwards by being able to admit her feelings to Spock and, hopefully, find a resolution to them.
Thank you, tenmei.

The Badger wrote: View Post
Despite not being familiar with the DS9 relaunch novels I easily picked up what I needed to know from this. So, good work on plot exposition there!

...Once again, I can hear the actors speaking as I read this. Great work.
Thanks, Badger!

BTW, the events she talks about come, respectively, from Avatar, Mission Gamma: This Grey Spirit, and of course, Trill: Unjoined, from volume 2 of Worlds of DS9.

As you may know, Ezri's "realization" is from my own tale, "Of Power and Passion".

(I assume though that it was a rogue group of Jem'Hadar that attacked, not a rouge group. Unless they've started wearing make up )
Oops. My bad.

saNta and greeD wrote: View Post
I really like the way you portray both Ezri and Spock. The conversation about the meaning of their names was fascinating (such topics always interest me), and as others have mentioned it was very convincing both as a genuine conversation and as an exploration of their characters.

...This is a strong character piece, and you're really making good use of the Ezri Dax/Spock concept.
Thanks! Actually, when I was writing it, I was afraid that that scene would deteriorate into a dull "philosophy piece". I actually had to go back and tweak it a lot before I posted it to have Ezri react more to what Spock says, to make sure no one would get bogged down in his "speech".

Spock's analysis of Ezri's new "celebrity" status was also really engaging- in fact, I hope the upcoming Aventine novel explores something like this.
So do I--but I'm not exactly counting on it. Would be nice, though.

Oh, and Ihs'ree does sound like a Trill word- it fits into their established language nicely.
Thanks! Hmm...I wonder what "Jadzia" means, BTW. I'm toying with "firey gem" or something....

I love how you're turning the possible criticisms and weaknesses of the Dax promotion into strengths, by highlighting her youth and related traits as part of the reason she has captured the imagination of the people she saved. As others have pointed out upthread, it's nice to see the fanciful aspect of her character again, alongside her new "commanding" aspects rather than having been replaced by them. It makes her convincing both as the Ezri we remember and as a complex character.
Thanks--a lot.

Again...it was my concious effort to restore what I loved about her from the show--and what I felt she'd lost in the relaunch. The writers seemed determined to give her a "harder edge", as it were, and thus take away her qualities of vulnerability, meekness, and yes, innocence.

Yes, give her confidence--yes, make her less nervous, but please don't take away all the traits that made her so endearing.

Kudos to KRAD for restoring some of that in Singular Destiny...but I felt there needed to be more.

And yes...in this last scene, I intended to imply that that irritating "edge" in the relaunch was due to her throwing herself into her symbiont's memories--as Noel/Nerys brought up. Hence, Ezri's lines to Spock about reaching her balance....
__________________
"I have been wounded but not yet slain. I shall lie here and bleed awhile. Then I shall rise and fight again."

"Forget it, Jake...it's Chinatown."
Supreme Dittodrone is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump



All times are GMT +1. The time now is 11:29 PM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.6
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
FireFox 2+ or Internet Explorer 7+ highly recommended.