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Old September 14 2009, 02:26 PM   #166
JuanBolio
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Re: Married Men -- no all Men I have question.

RAMA wrote: View Post
Absolutely do not buy a handgun if you don't already have one. Its a statistical fact that homeowners in possession of firearms have a higher rate of injury and death when it comes to burglaries/home invasion. You're just looking for trouble if you wield one.

RAMA
Statistics can be misleading. If you know what you're doing with one, there's no reason for this to be true.
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Old September 14 2009, 02:40 PM   #167
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Re: Married Men -- no all Men I have question.

FrontLine wrote: View Post
Cakes488 wrote: View Post
Kestra I'm sorry I'm not jumping at the advise...but this isn't the advise I expected...at all!
Doesnt mean its not the right advice either. Look if you only wanted some one to parrot what you wanted to hear then why start the thread where many people have replied, giving advice, based on their life's and personal experience and expertise? To ignore that advice does indeed imperil your life. That is not an exaggeration.
There are a few here like Bear and TSQ who have had terrible experiences but 'advising' her to get a gun when she is clearly never going to do this is not good advice. Sorry and all that but there it is. As soon as I read the OP I knew loads of people would go right off the deep end when clearly Cakes is not afraid and is just worried that she would be ruining a reasonably peaceful neighbourhood by complaining. My tuppenceworth is tell him to back the hell off and if it doesn't work, then go public.
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Old September 14 2009, 03:11 PM   #168
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Re: Married Men -- no all Men I have question.

sidious618 wrote: View Post
flamingliberal wrote: View Post
Why does no one respect the fact that the woman said she does not want a gun? If she's not willing to kill the guy on sight, and it sure doesn't sound like she is, the gun is more likely to be used on her.
Agreed. Not only that, but if she feels uncomfortable around a gun she could easily miss and hit someone else, herself, or just anger the guy more. In this case a gun does not seem like a good idea.
I agree, too. I am not by any means anti-gun. (I grew up with guns in the house, and I know how to shoot, although not very well. In fact we have two shotguns right now, although they aren't particularly defensive right at the moment, being disassembled in a closet, sans ammunition!) But aside from all other considerations, if you aren't comfortable with guns, a gun probably won't help you, and it might very well backfire (figuratively, not literally ).

It takes time to become comfortable with guns. It's not as simple as "I'm going to take responsibility for my safety - I'm going to get a gun and learn how to shoot it." I mean, you do have to get it and learn how to shoot it...but you also have to learn how to handle it. There's a lot more to handling a gun than just shooting it. And then you have to figure out where to keep it. And then you have to rehearse using it. You have to just generally accustom yourself to using it to defend yourself - that's another level of expertise altogether.

So for one thing...how will getting a gun help her right now? It won't. It probably wouldn't help her much a month from now, either. It might eventually help her, if she wants it to, but in the meantime she needs to take other steps, easier steps - and it's very possible that some of those steps will be just as effective.

And you never know - it might actually make her feel less secure. It's not logical, I know, but sometimes taking strong security measures makes you feel less secure than you did in the first place.

Guns simply are not the answer to every threat. I sometimes wish it were that simple, really, but it's just not.

Deckerd wrote: View Post
As soon as I read the OP I knew loads of people would go right off the deep end when clearly Cakes is not afraid and is just worried that she would be ruining a reasonably peaceful neighbourhood by complaining. My tuppenceworth is tell him to back the hell off and if it doesn't work, then go public.
Yep. That's my 2 cents' worth, too.

Last edited by JustKate; September 14 2009 at 08:35 PM.
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Old September 14 2009, 05:13 PM   #169
FrontLine
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Re: Married Men -- no all Men I have question.

RAMA wrote: View Post
Absolutely do not buy a handgun if you don't already have one. Its a statistical fact that homeowners in possession of firearms have a higher rate of injury and death when it comes to burglaries/home invasion. You're just looking for trouble if you wield one.

RAMA
Link please because IIRC that myth has been busted.
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Old September 14 2009, 06:19 PM   #170
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Re: Married Men -- no all Men I have question.

JuanBolio wrote: View Post
Statistics can be misleading. If you know what you're doing with one, there's no reason for this to be true.
Are you talking about guns or statistics, 'cause your statement applies to both.
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Old September 14 2009, 08:22 PM   #171
exodus
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Re: Married Men -- no all Men I have question.

FrontLine wrote: View Post
RAMA wrote: View Post
Absolutely do not buy a handgun if you don't already have one. Its a statistical fact that homeowners in possession of firearms have a higher rate of injury and death when it comes to burglaries/home invasion. You're just looking for trouble if you wield one.

RAMA
Link please because IIRC that myth has been busted.
It doesn't matter, Cakes has said "no" to the idea.
So continued arguing about the facts of gun use is pointless.

Besides, we're not here for a pissing contest on gun facts. Were supposed to be helping her in her situation.
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Old September 14 2009, 08:33 PM   #172
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Re: Married Men -- no all Men I have question.

My behavior while married was far from impeccable, but I think you should report this guy to the cops and if necessary get an order against him. And alert his wife.
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Old September 14 2009, 08:48 PM   #173
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Re: Married Men -- no all Men I have question.

exodus wrote: View Post
FrontLine wrote: View Post
RAMA wrote: View Post
Absolutely do not buy a handgun if you don't already have one. Its a statistical fact that homeowners in possession of firearms have a higher rate of injury and death when it comes to burglaries/home invasion. You're just looking for trouble if you wield one.

RAMA
Link please because IIRC that myth has been busted.
It doesn't matter, Cakes has said "no" to the idea.
So continued arguing about the facts of gun use is pointless.

Besides, we're not here for a pissing contest on gun facts. Were supposed to be helping her in her situation.
Two different issues. Ive already addressed Cakes, here I was addressing the statement by Rama. Im not into a pising contest, but if someone were to make a statement that the moon is made out of cheese and present it as fact few on the board would let that statement stand with out being challenged. That's all that I did.
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Old September 14 2009, 09:06 PM   #174
exodus
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Re: Married Men -- no all Men I have question.

FrontLine wrote: View Post
exodus wrote: View Post
FrontLine wrote: View Post
Link please because IIRC that myth has been busted.
It doesn't matter, Cakes has said "no" to the idea.
So continued arguing about the facts of gun use is pointless.

Besides, we're not here for a pissing contest on gun facts. Were supposed to be helping her in her situation.
Two different issues. Ive already addressed Cakes, here I was addressing the statement by Rama. Im not into a pising contest, but if someone were to make a statement that the moon is made out of cheese and present it as fact few on the board would let that statement stand with out being challenged. That's all that I did.
Dude, I love you and you know I do but that just sounds petty.
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Old September 14 2009, 10:08 PM   #175
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Re: Married Men -- no all Men I have question.

So Cakes, have you dealt with the Scumbag yet?
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Old September 14 2009, 11:03 PM   #176
JuanBolio
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Re: Married Men -- no all Men I have question.

msbae wrote: View Post
So Cakes, have you dealt with the Scumbag yet?
Good question. I too, am curious. Any further dealings, Cakes?

Sorry if I heaped on the praises of guns after you'd said "no" to the idea, by the way. I must've missed that post.
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Old September 15 2009, 01:00 AM   #177
Merry Christmas
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Re: Married Men -- no all Men I have question.

T'Girl wrote: View Post
... it was the older cop who told me to buy a gun.
cultcross wrote: View Post
Turning into an armed vigilante in your own home
Usual I like getting a bit off topic. It's fun, and this is an important side issue.

But there's someone here who could very well need our help.

I'll jump down off my hobby horse, if you will.


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Old September 15 2009, 05:48 AM   #178
Cakes488
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Re: Married Men -- no all Men I have question.

msbae wrote: View Post
Cakes488 wrote: View Post
But don't you think just the threat of me telling Jean would squash it all. Shouldn't that horrify him and send him running with his tail between his legs?
Based on the behavior you described, I'm forced to say no.

He's exhibiting all the classic mannerisms of an obsessive stalker. You should tell his wife but, it won't be to stop him. I expect that it will only make him mad. The reason you should tell his wife is so she knows what's going on and so she can help you.
LOL he is NOT an obsessive stalker (thank god)...this situation would be a lot more serious if that were the case...I would not be fucking around...I don't think I'm superwoman.

CaptainStoner wrote: View Post
You are way behind the game here, Cakes. This man essentially molested you with the drunken pawing. Alcohol does not produce that behavior; it reveals it. You are in danger, and you haven't been reacting appropriately.

To think you've lived with this BS all summer!
No more making up stories about friends coming over. The .
LOL he did NOT molest me!! I would of enjoyed it a smidge more if he had....seriously, though I would not classify it as molestation...he tried several times, he was denied and he hasn't done it again. I don't think he'd dare touch me again...oh no.

flamingliberal wrote: View Post
Why does no one respect the fact that the woman said she does not want a gun? If she's not willing to kill the guy on sight, and it sure doesn't sound like she is, the gun is more likely to be used on her.
I have to tell you...if this situation did escalate or if I found myself really in the middle of some guy stalking me...yes I think I may change my position and arm myself...I'll be dammed if some stalker guy is going to have the upper hand on me. Self defense classes etc... are helpful too and they can be very effective.

JuanBolio wrote: View Post
cultcross wrote: View Post
JuanBolio wrote: View Post
How does being armed in case you need to defend yourself make you a vigilante? Granted, there's a small change of anything happening, but if someone is breaking down your door, armed with a gun, how long can you afford to wait for the cops to show up? What if he cut the phone line? What do you do then?
I don't tend to spend my days worrying about insanely unlikely things happening to me. Also, its the 21st Century. I have a mobile.
That's great, but a lot of places don't get service, particularly out in the woods where Cakes is. I agree that such an event is unlikely, but if it DOES happen and you're faced with it, its nice to have an option other than "lay down and die".

Also, you didn't qualify your vigilante remark. Last I checked self-defense wasn't considered vigilantism.
This is true. I'm very lucky that I get reception on my property, when it's cloudy or rainy it suffers. Go down the block and there's nothing. All along route 97 and the Delaware River...nothing. It's very spotty in some areas. Also Verizon seems to have the best coverage...just sayin.

Colonel Green wrote: View Post

Paragraphs, please!

I would love to give my two bits, but I can barely read this!
Paragraphs or not...it still would be barely readable.

But I'll make it easy for you...just tell me to get a restaining order...!

T'Girl wrote: View Post
T'Girl wrote: View Post
... it was the older cop who told me to buy a gun.
cultcross wrote: View Post
Turning into an armed vigilante in your own home
Usual I like getting a bit off topic. It's fun, and this is an important side issue.

But there's someone here who could very well need our help.

I'll jump down off my hobby horse, if you will.


T'Girl
Please do get sidetracked! I'm the queen of sidetracking!!
I never understand that..it's only natural that other things come up that need to be discussed...sidetracking is heathly and gosh darnit it's just fun.

Well I'm sorry to get back on track for a second but I didn't see not hide nor hair (and i mean that literally since he's a little hairy beast) of him all weekend...not even a drive by. Now I did have the boys and we were causin a ruckus in the backyard with badminton...so he would of heard I had company. I didn't' even think about his sorry ass, forgot all about it. I think that's good.

I've assesed the security situation and it's pretty good.
On the screened in porch I do have a metal bar that goes across the door. On my door from the porch into the house there's 3 locks on that door. My front door I have the reg. lock and a chain lock.

So I'm pleased that there is nothing to report...half of me thinks/feels that I never will have an "update" thinking that the last cold encounter he had with me did it and than the other half is thinking no...this asshole is going to keep pushing it.
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Old September 15 2009, 07:14 AM   #179
msbae
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Re: Married Men -- no all Men I have question.

Cakes488 wrote: View Post
msbae wrote: View Post
Cakes488 wrote: View Post
But don't you think just the threat of me telling Jean would squash it all. Shouldn't that horrify him and send him running with his tail between his legs?
Based on the behavior you described, I'm forced to say no.

He's exhibiting all the classic mannerisms of an obsessive stalker. You should tell his wife but, it won't be to stop him. I expect that it will only make him mad. The reason you should tell his wife is so she knows what's going on and so she can help you.
LOL he is NOT an obsessive stalker (thank god)...this situation would be a lot more serious if that were the case...I would not be fucking around...I don't think I'm superwoman.
Based on your description of his behavior, he certainly sounded like a stalker.
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Old September 15 2009, 12:13 PM   #180
JuanBolio
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Re: Married Men -- no all Men I have question.

msbae wrote: View Post
Based on your description of his behavior, he certainly sounded like a stalker.
I dunno. I'd call him a wannabe at best. He hasn't done anything overtly threatening. All in all he sounds like a coward with an overactive fantasy.
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