Listen, I have an idea

Bombs. Yes. Bombs. That's a great way a Grim Fandango bit into this thing. Due to a transporter malfunction, B'Elanna and nuMcCoy get transported to Rubicava in the land of the dead. They need transport, but the only available one is Manny's bone wagon, booby trapped with explosives triggered by dominoes. So they need to find Neelix to prepare some of his special Red Alert Chilli to get Glottis to throw up over the dominoes. Then they invite Science Bob to freeze it all in one place. They take the bone wagon and McCoy's like "Damn it, B'Elanna, I am a doctor, not a hearse driver..." and she's like "Well, doctor, I am sure it's not that much more difficult than delivering Gorn hexatuplets, show us how good you are outside of bragging. Otherwise I will have to drive this thing, and you won't like it how quick I will get you there."

Meanwhile, Janeway is fighting the Borg queen over an abyss on Bespin, when the queen tells her "Kathryn, I am your sister..." (roll credits)

How many billion dollars is that for a plot?

 

I hear Romulan Ale goes right through you. Though, once they can start going again, will they still be surly enough to be Villains?

 

No one ever liked how quickly B'Elanna "got them there", except for Tom. Not even B'Elanna.

^^ I read this line in Strongbad's voice.

 

How has this thread gone three pages so far without anyone mentioning Andorian Ice Powers?

 

Andorian version of "Frozen" you say? Shran delivering a heart-wrenching rendition of "Let it Go" while wearing a pretty, glittering dress?

I agree with people that the movie should be a Musical, a 5-hour musical with Bollywood dancing.

 

Just as long as a fat naked Ferengi belly-dancing number is featured. That goes on for twenty minutes.

 

In a cave deep within the surface of a moon of Ceti Alpha V there are mushrooms adapted to live in the harsh conditions by accumulating huge amounts of gas. The saturation is so high that records show burping after consumption can last for up to 23 minutes. The full routine of Cupcake eating one of them at the beginning of the film is in order.

And then, at the end of the film, the other end of the consequences.

 

LOL you guys thought I was joking, but I am not. Here is a sample of the script:

[some scenes where the Khan blood was able to make a new Kirk]

Kirk: I'm back!

Spock: Hmmmm........this is weirdness.

[meanwhile, romulans are gathering together at the neutral zone]

Kirk: Raise shields!

Sulu: Captain, there is an anomoly coming up on our sensours

Kirk: What!

Sulu: OMG the anonmoly is sucking in the romulans like they were speghitti!

Kirk: wtf

Spock: I think we should run away

Kirk: maximum warp 9 backwards!!!!

[that's just the beginning. now what's up you luddite mfers]

 

That sentence makes the Neutral Zone sound like a campground and the Romulans are all huddled by the fire getting drunk and boasting exaggerated stories of themselves.

 

Yeah, that's really more a Klingon thing.

(More Andorian Ice Powers!)

 

No need for a time vortex. The Borg exist in Kirk's time already. Just pit the Enterprise up against the 23rd century version of the Borg, perhaps invading through one of their conduits, and forget 'the future' idea altogether.

 

yes, because spock coming to the past with a Federation ship that may have had some borg-inspired parts in it that signaled them in subspace and let them to build transwarp conduits to the Alpha Quadrant much earlier than usual...but the time warp thing allows you to have TNG/DS9/VOYish characters on there.

 

<Blackness. Then the Borg mass voice begins to drone>

Space. The futile frontier.

These are the efficient voyages of Unimatrix zero-zero-eight. Its continuing mission: to assimilate strange new worlds, to seek out new life and perfect irrelevant civilizations. To baldly go where no drone has gone before.


Yeah, such a series would become an instant hit.

 

Um... nooooo, because Enterprise already established a Borg presence in the Alpha Quadrant. We don't need convoluted time travel plots to explain away something as mundane as 'The Borg Are Already There In The Alpha Quadrant In Kirk's Time'. Because we already know the Borg were there in the Alpha Quadrant in Kirk's time.

You are, of course, working on the assumption that such a scenario is actually desirable. I disagree, I think it'd be the worst thing imaginable. All we want are good stories featuring the new versions of the TOS characters. What we emphatically *don't* need are pointless cameos from characters like Admiral Janeway or Captain Riker, which would get in the way of just telling good stories featuring the new versions of the TOS characters.

 

Then again... The Borg seemed uninterested in people walking around their cubes, so it might be possible that at some point some of their cubes got inhabited by people whom the Borg deemed uninteresting to assimilate. And maybe there were also some like Seven of Nine's parents following the Borg, but instead of doing it at a distance they boldly went to observe them inside the cubes, and somehow made it there long enough.

And maybe the drones and their guests played cards in the after hours.

 

I suddenly find myself imagining the Borg ship as a yellow submarine and kind of like the idea. I mean:

Totally sounds like the Borg.

 

This thread is pure win. The ideas here are worth at least three trillion SpaceBucks, which by pure coincidence is the price for a Venti Mocha Latte with three Espresso shots purchased at the Death Star II Docking Bay Starbucks™.