Almost challenge entry: for the Usual Fee

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by Starkers, Feb 1, 2009.

  1. Starkers

    Starkers Admiral Admiral

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    Well I said I'd post my entry once the voting started so here it is, all 8300 or so words of it :p

    For the Usual Fee

    I'll also post a link to the song I took inspiration from, Private Investigations by Dire Straits.

    Song
     
  2. Nerys Ghemor

    Nerys Ghemor Vice Admiral Admiral

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    Very interesting twist at the end there...I find myself wondering what a certain someone is wanted for, and how he got into the situation he's in...
     
  3. SLWalker

    SLWalker The OG Scotty Fangirl Premium Member

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    Wow, that was absurdly entertaining! The X-Men homage amused me, but the story itself was just a whole lot of fun; little hints dropped in the beginning that stick in the mind to come up again at the end. And Charlie was just awesome. Some minor grammar issues here or there, but still just a fun, fun story -- great stuff!
     
  4. Starkers

    Starkers Admiral Admiral

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    Thanks :techman:

    I'm wondering too...that aspect of the character kinda came out within the confines of the story. It wasn't planned!
     
  5. Starkers

    Starkers Admiral Admiral

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    Absurdly entertaining? That might be the nicest thing anyone has ever saiod about one of my stories.

    Confession time though--he Xavier Charles bit wasn't an intentional X-Men homage, I was just playing around with Charlie Cross' name and came up with it! (Maybe a subconcious thang)

    Damn by grammar, no matter how much I proof stuff gets through. I'm just not accurate enough sometimes! Feel free to point out specifics...it's the only way I'll learn :lol:

    Just for interest's sake I based Charlie on the actor Bill Nighy.
     
  6. Mistral

    Mistral Vice Admiral Admiral

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    Cool story-I want to read more about Charlie...
    Typo when he tells Maddy his fee back in the beginning-you spelled latinum wrong.

    (You said to let you know..) I'd have voted for this if you entered it....
     
  7. Starkers

    Starkers Admiral Admiral

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    ha ha latimum how'd I miss that! Damn made up words :lol:

    Thanks for your comments Mistral. I never intended it but I quite enjoyed writing Charlie, so I think he may well make a return...

    Couldn't enter it, its way WAY too long, but thanks anyway :bolian:
     
  8. CeJay

    CeJay Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    It may have worked as a challenge entry but you would have had to sacrifice a lot of detail and I think that's what made this story great.

    Charlie is definitely a fascinating character. He's got a bit of a Columbo vibe going, in that he is very unassuming on first impression and seemingly rather harmless. Of course he takes this to a whole new level.

    The ending was nothing but a shameless sequel plug. I loved it.
     
  9. Starkers

    Starkers Admiral Admiral

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    ha ha thanks CeJay. I did start to trim it down but realised within a copule of hundred words that it was just never gonna happen.

    Columbo eh? Have to admit I was going for more of a absent minded Dr Who type but Columbo works just fine as well.

    I am toying with shamlessly stealing CaptCalhoun's modus operandi and trying to get Charlie into all the challenge entries...I really don't have time for another full on series.
     
  10. mirandafave

    mirandafave Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

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    Oh do that! Charlie would be wicked fun to see again. Well done.
     
  11. trampledamage

    trampledamage Clone Admiral

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    Wonderful story - I do like characters who are definitely not what they seem, so I love Charlie Cross, especially with your ending hint. :)
     
  12. Starkers

    Starkers Admiral Admiral

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    ok ok, Charlie Cross will definitely return...:lol:
     
  13. Maxillius

    Maxillius Commander Red Shirt

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    I want to see this continue from where you left off, with Starfleet tracking down their "rogue captain".

    Love it!