TOS Caption Contest #223: Captains, Some Courageous, Some Not

Kirk: "I see fear in your eye, Klingon."

Kang: "That isn't fear, fool, it's shock... I saw your toupee flop backwards a second ago."

Kirk: "You Klingon BASTARD!!!"


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LMFAO!!!!!! thats a classic

 

Capt. Pike really missed his old job censoring out profanity on the Jerry Springer show.....beeping beep-holes indeed.

 

Woah. So. Not an inter racial sexually charged term then?

Those peanut cups are now available in the UK, surprisingly tasty.

 

Pardek: Spock, this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship. Oh, by the way, I still have to give you the Death Penalty.



Spock: Captain, perhaps I should explain to you the difference between a Constitutional Convention and the Yearly Grand Slam Convention.



Kang: Liar! Dax's next 2 hosts will NOT be female!



Helm: Captain, Klingons off the Starboard bow.

Mason: Again with the Klingons... Engineering! Give me full power!

Engineering: (over comm) It's not good Captain! Our control panels haven't been programmed into the game yet!

 

Oh, who knows? I just happened to immediately get the joke, having watched these commercials back in the day, so I thought I'd post. This particular one is still cracking me up.

 

Captain Ron Tracey: "What on Earth is everyone looking at?"

The former captain of the Exeter arrived late for Jim Kirk's State Of The Union address.

 

As it was in the beginning:
Nimoy (sighs): "Do any of you think these 'Star Trek conventions' are really ever going to catch on?"
Kelley: "Christ, this one has an even worse turnout than the first two had!"
Takei: "There's six of us here as speakers, and only five fans showed up to see us!"
Woodward: "We outnumber them! Hell, let's make them entertain us!"

 

Kirk: "Twilight Zone!"

Kang: "Outer Limits!"

 

MENDEZ: Mercifully, the length of delta ray exposure limited his injuries. Had he been exposed for much longer we would have been forced to put him inside a black helmet with a cape. He would have sounded like an asthmatic pervert.

 

KANG: Enhanced....INTERROGATION...TECHNIQUES!!!

KIRK: Good cop...BAD COP METHODS!!!

 

Kirk: "Yin"

Kang: "Yang"



Sulu: "Isn't that actually a copy of the Magna Carta?"

Spock: "Shhhh."

 

Kirk: "King"

Kang: "Kang... D'oh!"

Kirk: "Hee hee hee."

 

Kang: Can you feel that, human ... the sexual tension between us?
Kirk: Sorry, Kang. I don't go for the swarthy look. I like mine with pointy ears and eyebrows and Moe Howard haircuts.

 

KANG: Are you prepared for DEATH, Earthman?

KIRK: Well...not really. But then I've always been one hell of a procrastinator.

 

TRACEY: WHY is Jim reading from the unabridged version of "The Stand"?

 

Kirk: The new Caption Contest will start on Saturday!

Kang: NO! It will start on Monday!

Spock: Heh, joke's on them.

 

Tragically, the "Kirk vs. Picard" argument reached into some very unexpected places.

 

Kirk: "Samantha Stephens or Jeannie?"
Kang: "Well, DUH!"

 

Kirk: "Dick Sargent."

Kang: "Dick York."