"Data's Day" Line-by-Line

KEIKO: I'm supposed to be getting married, Data. I should be happy, but I'm not. I just feel this weight pressing down on me.

 

DATA: Will canceling the wedding make you happy?

 

KEIKO: Yes. He'll probably be just as relieved as I am. Data, you introduced us to each other. You mean a lot to both of us. I would really appreciate it if you would tell Miles for me.

 

DATA: Will cancelling the wedding make you happy?

 

DATA: If you wish.

[Ten Forward]

DATA [OC]: My friend Chief O'Brien often says that above all else, he wants to make Keiko happy. Since cancelling the wedding will make her happy, I must conclude the Chief will be pleased at her decision.

Data approaches Chief O'Brien.

DATA: I have good news.

 

O'BRIEN: Oh?

 

DATA: Keiko has made a decision designed to increase her happiness. She has cancelled the wedding.

 

O'BRIEN: She what? Cancelled the wedding? Today? Without even a word? Of all the childish, selfish, irresponsible things to do! (O'Brien storms out)

 

LAFORGE: Next time, maybe I should break the "good news".

 

DATA [OC]: Commander Maddox, it would appear that my programme designed to predict the emotional responses needs adjustment.
Second Officers personal log, supplemental. This is the one thousand five hundred fiftieth day since the Enterprise was commissioned. Besides the arrival of Ambassador T'Pel, other events occurring today include four birthdays, two personnel transfers, a celebration of the Hindu Festival of Lights, two chess tournaments, one secondary school play, and four promotions. Overall, an ordinary day.

 

[Transporter room]

CHIEF HUBBELL: The Zhukov is ready for transport, sir.

 

DATA: Energise.
DATA: Welcome aboard the Enterprise, Ambassador.

 

T'PEL: I would meet with your Captain.

 

[Turbolift]

DATA [OC]: Sine I am not affected by emotional considerations, I am closer to being Vulcan than human. However, while their devotion to logic does have a certain appeal, I find their stark philosophy to be somewhat limited.

 

[Ready room]
PICARD: Come. Ambassador T'Pel.

 

T’Pel: I come to serve.

 

PICARD: Your service honours us. This is my first officer, Commander William Riker.

 

T’Pel: Leave us, please.

 

[Bridge] RIKER: Charming woman.

 

Data: The tone of Commander Riker's voice makes me suspect that he is not serious about finding Ambassador T'Pel charming. My experience suggests that in fact he may mean the exact opposite of what he says. Irony is a form of expression I have not yet been able to master.