Certainly the best way to get arrested for assault and have the cops ignore you when he actually does something dangerous.
Well yeah, If you're going to attack a crazy stalker guy without actually disabling him, it's always best to make sure there's nobody around to help when he comes after you with a chainsaw, I mean that's just common sense
Not to mention maybe really pissing off the jerk. Kicking a guy in the nuts will work most times; some times it just pisses them right off and they will beat the hell out of ya' for your trouble. The Safest thing is keeping as much distance as possible. And that means Gun, tazer, or even mace.
I've had this happen to me, more than once and I know what you should do. If he graps you by the arm, it's assault. If he graps you by the arm, It's false imprisonment If he trys to kiss you While holding your arm, it's sexual assault Tell EVERYONE, call the police everytime, insist on a police report - get a copy, keep a log of time, date and places. take photographs or better videos, a camera that imprints time and date is best. all these will help get the eventual restraining order, honey they're almost useless but get one anyway. Don't kick him in the balls, it's not as effective as you think - that's from movies. The first time you call the police make it a time both he and his wife are home, after the police talk to you they'll drive to his house, everyone wiil see, his wife will see. Pepper spray doesn't work on ten percent of the population. The first time this happen to me, it was the older cop who told me to buy a gun. The 9mm semi-automatic is best. Get a small "carry pistol", something that will fit in your pusre or pocket, keep it with you, it doesn't do any good if it's in a drawer and you're in the next room. A local woman's group can give you support. I'm sorry to tell you these things .
Why does no one respect the fact that the woman said she does not want a gun? If she's not willing to kill the guy on sight, and it sure doesn't sound like she is, the gun is more likely to be used on her.
Agreed. Not only that, but if she feels uncomfortable around a gun she could easily miss and hit someone else, herself, or just anger the guy more. In this case a gun does not seem like a good idea.
Report this to the police, immediately. He has already assaulted you, but even if you don't want to pursue a complaint about the incident that has already occurred, you need to make it clear that you are ready and willing to go down that road if he doesn't back off. We in the UK have something called a TAU, a 'Treat As Urgent' marker, which would note that calls from you or your house should be treated as a top priority with a potential immediate threat to life and limb - something similar may be an option in the US as well. If he comes back and you feel threatened, leave immediately, go to a friends or a family members, or even just to a payphone, and call 911. Don't try and fight him unless it becomes absolutely necessary (ie he has you cornered or something), and even then only to the extent necessary to get past him. You will achieve nothing by fighting him other than escalating the situation and potentially getting yourself much more severely hurt (and no, that's not because you're a woman, I'd say that to anyone: you don't know you can take him. Nobody does). And bringing a gun into the mix is just ridiculous. Already tense situations are not helped or resolved by introducing firearms. Plus, in order for it to be useful you'd basically have to have it strapped to your hip 24/7 while at home - are you really about to do that?
That's [saying you've got friends over or someone staying with you] dodgy at best anyway. If this jerk is really after her and wants her and isn't taking "No" as an answer, then there's nothing to stop him from coming by and seeing that there isn't someone there or waiting till she's out by herself and pulling something.
How does being armed in case you need to defend yourself make you a vigilante? Granted, there's a small change of anything happening, but if someone is breaking down your door, armed with a gun, how long can you afford to wait for the cops to show up? What if he cut the phone line? What do you do then?
I don't tend to spend my days worrying about insanely unlikely things happening to me. Also, its the 21st Century. I have a mobile.
That's great, but a lot of places don't get service, particularly out in the woods where Cakes is. I agree that such an event is unlikely, but if it DOES happen and you're faced with it, its nice to have an option other than "lay down and die". Also, you didn't qualify your vigilante remark. Last I checked self-defense wasn't considered vigilantism.
Some people don't want to live their lives with a gun on their hip and all that entails. I know that's difficult for people who are cool with that to understand, but I will continue to take my chances in life with only a deterrent weapon and deal with the consequences of that possibly not working rather than spend my days clutching a fucking gun and walking around in fear of the unlikely. Though I would prefer that the people around me not be armed, and I fear anyone who feels the need to be armed with a deadly weapon, I respect that you have the right to be armed and live like that. You should do the same when someone says that they DON'T want to be armed with a deadly weapon and stop attempting to use fear to force them to adopt your lifestyle. She has other defensive options that she IS willing to adopt; give her helpful advice about those rather than beating the guns drum over and over again.
I respect their rights, fully and completely. I merely object to the pigeonholing of gun owners as fearful or as vigilantes.
Personally, I think that feeling the need to avail oneself of a tool for killing another human being, assuming it's not borne out of bloodlust or aggression, implies some level of fear. That's not meant in a derogatory way as you appear to have taken it, though.