TNG Caption This! #351: Time Capsule: Part 2

DATA: Thank you Lieutenant Worf! And this concludes our presentation about how Saint Patrick's Day is celebrated on Qo'noS. Any comments Chief?

 

WORF: Debt collection? We don't even have money!

 

Data: They want to know if we need a new Chief of Security, sir.
Riker: Damn, I was going to ask them that.




Data: The acrid stench of burning hydrogen sulfide. Thank goodness I also function as a Febreeze. <Farts>




Pulaski: Sure you won't have some Botox?
Worf: No thanks, turtleback don't crack.




Wesley: I get the gauntlet of warriors with pain sticks thing. But why did he keep shouting "Discommodate me, Svetlana"?




Hello Manager? I wish to know why I was billed for the full two hours of "Kahless and Morath Locked in Eternal Embrace." This version was not true to the myth!

 

WORF: You do realize I'll have to report your abuse of drugs.

PULASKI: So what? What are they gonna do? Bring back Crusher?

 

WORF: I dare you to make Hitler win the war!
PULASKI: Deal!

 

Worf: It is among the Klingons that love poetry achieves its fullest flower.
Pulaski: Poetry, glaucoma, I've heard 'em all. Let's just do this thing.

 

Second officer's log: Following the suggestion of Commander Geordi La Forge, we focussed our research efforts on back lanes of the Klingon First City. After 3.34356 minutes, we found Lieutenant Worf totally intoxicated and freshly expulsed from a stripclub. We think Commander Riker and Captain Picard may be inside.

 

Riker: "What the f... ?"


.

 

Riker: "Who's next?"

.

 

Instant winner!

 

Data: Transmission intercepted sir.

Riker: On audio.

Yamato Captain: Captain's log, supplemental. Cancel the communique to Earth's Bigfoot Field Researchers Organization. It's just another mountain man with too much facial hair. This explains what he's doing on the bridge of a starship; but not the crude, territorial grunts and lumbering around.

Wesley: Or the stink.

Riker: Now that was just hurtful.




Worf: Antidote?
Pulaski: Beano. I've got IBS.
Worf: A warrior's bowel syndrome.




Have fun storming the sky castle!




Wesley: Look at all those oreo sleeves.




Klingon warriors do not need extra pillows. Though another towel to wrap my hair would be honorable.

 

Wesley: "Is it really a good idea to play chicken with the Yamato?"

Riker: "What's the worst thing that could happen?"



Worf: "Aphrodisiac?"

Pulaski: "Stimulant. Prepare to have your Klingon world rocked."



Picard (over comm): "Data, this is no time to practice your 'mime in a box' routine. Now close the door and and beam back to the ship."



O'Brien: "You thinks that's rough? You should see it when Keiko and I break out the hand cuffs and riding crop."



Worf: "My approximate hold time is 20 minutes? There is no honor in customer service."

 

WORF: You were meant to attach the medal to my sash not stab yourself in the arm with it






DATA: Worf, this is an intervention. As your closest friends we feel it is our duty to express our concern about your bloodwine consumption and shady holosuite program addiction.

PULASKY: ...is he even concious?



WORF: I am afraid you must have dialed the wrong number there is no one by the name I. P. Freely here, neither is there a Ben Dover...why are you laughing?

 

TFTBL!



RIKER: That bitch of a ship dares wear the same dress to the party as us? Fire photon torpedos!





PULASKI (thinking): If I have to spend this much time talking to Worf, I'm gonna inject some damn good drugs.





Understandably, the sentient planet came out in hives when it saw a mime.





DATA: Is this the emotion they call barfing?





WORF: No, I'm not going to accept an interstellar reverse charge phone call.

 

New Contest is up!

 

Dislike.

 

Agreed thats in pretty poor taste.