TNG Caption This! #378: Paramount Importance

Hello everyone! Not waiting until the last seconds of the weekend this time! Lets begin!




First up to the plate, we have the "Mysteries" Award, going to:

Next, we have the "This Door not designed to accommodate Vorlon Encounter Suits" Award, going to:

Next, we have the "Lack of Privacy" Award, going to:

Next, we have the "She hated the transporters, the feeling was mutual" Award, going to:

Next, we have the "Complex Weaponry" Award, going to:

Our Photoshop Award, goes to:

Congratulations to our winners and many thanks to everyone who participated!

And now, a new contest!











Enjoy!

 

Riker: (thinking) I would be such a better First Officer than that guy.



Riker: Oh, you have a kid. Never mind.



Picard: Call Sickbay, the Picard Maneuver has gone awry.



Picard: Good luck, Wesley. Prepare for transport.

Tasha: (thinking) Does he know that I've never operated this thing before?



Worf: You took my antique swords out of the original packaging! You are without honor!

 

Wesley: She's not my kid. She's my mom

 

Riker (thinking): "Wow! She's a knockout! That hair! Those eyes! That body! This is going to be great! The only thing that could foul this up is if she turned out to have a thing for our bald old fart of a captain. Or if my ex-girlfriend showed up."

 

"This is Lieutenant Worf, for Ginsu swords. For when you MUST be ready to fight!"

 

Thanks for the win, Leadhead!


Picard: Captain's Log: Open mic night on the bridge was not one of my better ideas.



Sadly, going by the expression on the faces of Gates McFadden, Jonathan Frakes, and the extra behind Frakes, Wil Wheaton may be the best actor in this scene.



Picard: *to himself* I'm beginning to think Beverly is dosing my Earl Grey with Viagra.


Picard: Good luck, Wesley. Lt. beam him down before he grows another inch taller than me.

Crusher: *under her breath* Napoleon complex, anyone?



Worf: A sharpened sword make out of the strongest metal is dishonorable! If a Klingon warrior cannot kill someone without using a weapon that looks like it was made out of modelling clay, they are not worthy of the name, "Klingon Warrior!"

 

TFTWLH~!


Lieutenant: I bet you'd remember the Prime Directive if Shakespeare wrote it a thousand years ago!
Riker: He's got you there, sir.




Wesley: Are you my new father figure? He had a chin butt too.
Riker: And, a beard it is.




Picard: If we're going to be damned, let's be damned for who we really are! Supersize it!
Alien: Pull around to the first window.




Wesley: Table for two, maitre d'.




Worf: I don't see what was so funny. All I said was I'll be on the holodeck polishing my short sword.

 

MACDUFF: Hey, umm, I just remembered something! The enemy...pretends to be completely defenseless and lets us blow up their warships to lull us into a false sense of security, and...umm...they eat our children for fun! Yeah, it's all coming back to me now, that's it!



RIKER: Well Wesley, your mother may be old friends with the Captain, but you should know that won't get you any special treatment on the ship. That's not how we do things in Starfleet.



(Picard thinking): Legs chaffing...need to find subtle way to adjust underwear. Damn it, Data just saw me. Oh crap, he figured it out and he's going to offer advice!



PICARD: How old did you say he was again? (Starts doing math in his head)



WORF: I have been training with this sword for years, and I can put on a rather impressive display with it. Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go fight Indiana Jones.

 

MacDuff: "So, a Klingon, a blind man and a bald man walk into a bar... Whoa, tough audience!"




Wesley: "Okay, you two have fun down on Risa. And make sure you have her home by midnight!"

 

Worf: "'...yet I find your double-edge blade strange and attractive'. 'Of course you do. Klingong worriors are often attracted to two-edged swords of notable length, and you have both. And you know it.'. 'Oh, your sheath is so big...'"

Ensign (off screen through his suddenly opened quarters' doors): "Lt. Worf!"

Worf: "WHAT???!!!"

Ensign (off screen): "You're needed on the Bridge, sir!"

Worf: "KNOCK ON MY DOOR!!! Knock next time!"

Ensign (off screen): "Yes, sir!"

Worf: "Did you see anything?"

Ensign (off screen): "No, sir! I didn't see you playing with your ceremonial sword again!"

Worf: "Chong!"

 

Worf: "K'Ehleyr! I asked you not to use my blades to shave your legs!"

 

PICARD: Good luck, Mr. Crusher. It's been a pleasure having you aboard.

WESLEY: Huh? I'm just here to re-calibrate the the pattern buffers.

PICARD: Isn't it Tuesday?

WESLEY: It's Monday.

PICARD: Then forget I said anything,



WORf: Holding it wrong? A Klingon warrior knows how to hold a weap.....AAAAAAAGGGHH! My finger!!!!



CREWMAN: Vulcan was gone, sir! Sucked into a blackhole created by an insane time travelling Romulan!

PICARD: Call Counselor Troi. Crewman Abrams is having another episode.



PICARD: Let's move away from the Borg Armada at the highest possible speed. And bring me a new pair of pants.

 

PICARD: Congratulation Wesley and good luck on your new assignment on this ship with a dude who looks like a baby. Drink a lot of orange juice!
WESLEY: Sir, I still don't realize I was the best candidate of the whole Starfleet.
RIKER (thinking): He still doesn't realize they asked for our most annoying crewmember.

 

Lieutenant Commander Sheckey Green can't get any judges on his side for Enterprise's Got Talent.




Riker: ``Pleased to meet you, Doctor Crusher, I … wait, why am I younger than your son? Man, I gotta grow a beard or something.''




Picard: ``I have never had to resort to this but the situation is obviously dire. Ahem. 'That's all I can stands, I can't stands no more.' … How do I get the can of spinach out of my shirt now?''




Picard: ``Good luck (giggle) at the Sector (heehee) Fashion Show (snrrrk), Wesley. I'm sure (heheeheee) you're going to make us all prou-how-heeeeheeee. Er. Chin up, yes.''




You know, Worf might have the best yearbook photo of anyone on the ship.

 

WORF: Kahless said "Frite-sauce was without honor!"


WORF: I sense the presence of another immortal.
ADRIAN PAUL (os): Hello Worf!
WORF: Computer, Highlander: The Series is without honor. Only the first movie is real!


RIKER: Please Wesley, don't lose this double-chin until I grow my beard.

 

Riker: Hold on. I like where this is going...

 

RIKER: You're wondering about the chin....I was involved in a mechanical rice picker accident as a child

 

Picard: "Alright, Wesley, it's a bet! If you can wear that outfit to school for a week without getting the snot beaten out of you, I'll grant you loitering privileges on the main bridge for one month."