VOY Caption Contest 80; Mission Improbable!

Hope you had a good time captioning last week, and to shake things up a little:



Our winners are:

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Here is the special winning caption:

And the photoshop award goes to:

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With that out of the way, here are some more pictures to be captioned:











Have fun!

 

Janeway: Neelix, if I told you once I've told you a thousand times; NO LEOLA ROOT STEW!!!


Janeway: Doctor if you want to be in command you've really got to learn how to hold yourself upright!


An alien crew watching Janeway 'dressing down' Chakotay...


Seven: May I suggest captain you read the Janeway/7 fan fic?
Janeway: Are you hinting at something?


Alien on the left: Doctor, if you could ignore Seven's flirtations for just one moment, I have something important to tell you...

 

ALIEN: Sontaran??? Who are you calling a Sontaran?

 

What Americans think we'll look like in the 24th century.



What we'll really look like.

 

Thanks for the double win!



"First Contact is very important in the Federation. I want to make sure we do this right. You have experience with this race, Neelix. So, a five second blast of flatulence is the typical greeting?"

"Right. I would suggest to avoid sharting. That signifies the females willingness to mate."

 

Alien on left: "We're fired?!"

Alien on right: "Well...I sort of assumed there wasn't anyone at the Hierarchy. I mean, it just says "yes" or "no" to everything, right? Seemingly at random? I thought it was a computer. So...I was bored and I asked it a few questions".

Alien behind them: "Such as?"

Alien on right: "You know those rumours about the primarch's parentage? I just wanted to see if it said yes or not. It...didn't".



Janeway: "Sorry, Mr. Neelix. Since we lost the port shields, only crewmen on the "essential or attractive" list are permitted on deck six - go right through, Mr. Tuvok - the rest must do without radiation shielding for a while. Don't feel bad - your duties as morale officer will be quite essential back here, I assure you".

 

Alien One: Explain it again.

Alien Two: Spread your fingers and push your hand together like this.

Alien One: Uhhhh, then what?

Alien Two: Put your thumbs adjacent, and rotate them.

Alien One: Damn these Humans and their complex "twittling the thumbs" game.

 

Janeway: Now, Neelix, whatever you do, don't mention our little "furry" problem on Deck 8.

Neelix: I'm sorry about my pet furflies, Captain. They just... wanted to spread their wings a bit.

Janeway: Furflies?! I was talking about the tribbles! But now that you mention it, when did you start breeding those little things?



Doctor: Let me guess, *points to Chakotay* your hips feel like they've been run over by a pack of Ferengi *points to Janeway* and your back hurts like you were drop kicked by a Klingon Targ? Yet another entry in the "Ready Room Romps".



Alien #1: I never realized that human entertainment could be so horrific.

Alien #2: Vile, isn't it? The laguage, the indecency, the tone of their flesh.

Alien #1: How can it be so orange?

Alien #2: These inhabitants of the "Jersey Shore" are a most disturbing species.



Janeway; Seven, what was that?

Seven: Pardon me, Captain. I believe my digestive system is having a reaction to lunch.

Janeway: And that was...

Seven: Something that Mr. Neelix called "Leola Root Surprise". I wonder if this was meant to be part of the surprise.

Janeway: Oh no...



Alien: I've added some additional subroutines to your program to make you more appealing.

Doctor: When I said "appealing", this isn't what I meant. She's been trying to eat my ear for the last twenty minutes. I'm a Doctor, not a side dish!

 

Thanks for the win!



Janeway's schedule was so busy, she had to conduct her singing lessons on the fly.



The Doctor: I'm in trouble again, aren't I?

Janeway: You know it's trouble when Chakotay and I both have our hands on our hips.



Hierarchy Leader: The Hierarchy demands your supplies!

Janeway: (offscreen) No. Screen off!

Hierarchy Leader: So what do we do now?

Other Hierarchy: Uhhh....




Seven: Captain, is it really necessary to listen to this?

Janeway: Shhh.... Tom and B'Elanna appear to have a great lovemaking technique...



The Doctor: You know, this was a great daydream until you came along!

 

Computer: Today's Space Lottery Numbers are...

 

The Doctor: Now, bring your knees in tight

Kim: But it's the pelvic thrust that really drives you insane

Bridge: Let's do the Time Warp again!

 

The Doctor: Now, put your hands on your hips. Ah-ha! I didn't say Simon Says.

 

Janeway: C'mon! No one needs to know...loan me one of your catsuits.
Seven: But Captain, I do not think my...I do not think your...May I wear one of your uniforms, then?
Janeway: Deal! Meet me in holodeck one!

 

NEELIX: But he'll blame me!

 

Sontar-Huh?

 

Janeway: Neelix, you did pack the one that is this big?

The doctor's instruction of the senior crew in the Alexander technique was a great asset for long hours sat on the bridge without a tinkle break!

"Your right! You can clearly see in this image that our uniforms DO make our bums look big!"


Seven: Nice shoes! Crocodile?
Janeway: I'm not wearing shoes!!!


It was the night of the prom and the Doctor was left with a dilema who to take as his date; the alian with the big bum or a drunk Seven of Nine?

 

Alien #1: "I hear we're to be featured on the Trek BBS Caption Contest-isn't that great?!?"

Alien #2: "Dude, our heads look like butts-somehow I doubt this is going to work out in our favor."

 

Janeway: "Ok, Neelix, we want to be polite to our guests but this time-do NOT offer coffee! Politeness only goes so far."

 

Janeway: Neelix, I don't care how they do things on Talax. On Voyager, it's considered rude to follow Tuvok around and grab his ass every time he breathes.


Doctor: Really Captain, have you no discretion? Why would you tell a random alien woman that Chakotay here would do anything for a Klondike bar?
Janeway: Doctor, mind your own business.
Harry: Captain, that video link you wanted is established and ready to transmit to your quarters...
Janeway; Shut up, Harry!


Alien #1: Good GOD! What are those people doing?
Alien #2: They're hidious!
Alien #3: Still strangely compelling...
Alien #4: Stop watching "Keeping Up With the Kardashians" and get back to work!


Seven (to Doctor): Why don't you come back to my place and let me plug you into my alcove? It will blow your mind!
Alien: Excuse me, I'm looking for directions to the br...
Doctor: Get the hell out of here!

 

Seven: Tell me more about your giant holo-processor...

Alien: Oh, brother.