TOS Caption Contest #242: Bottoms Up!

I agree, this is one of the funniest runs I have ever seen. Here are:


He really should get around the ship more...

“i” before “e” except after...ah screw it, I hate that kid!

I’d buy that...

Because puns need love too...

This is creepy and weird, I like that...

Now we know why the shuttlecraft wasn’t available to rescue Sulu...

There were so many great Photoshop entries; in fact all of them were amazing. Here are some that really cracked me up:

And this one gets the “blew my mind” award:

Congratulations to the winners and thanks to all who entered. This week: the cast of TOS get their drink on. Have at it!

 

SCOTTY: Here's to swimming with bow legged women.

SPOCK: I fail to see the advantage of that.

SCOTTY: You wouldn't.



SPOCK: You might want to work on your eye hand coordination, Captain.




MCCOY: Scotty's the only person I know who can get standing up drunk.




SEPTIMUS:It's the blood of our saviour.

KIRK (spits) Say what!!!!

 

Pike: "This is my version of the shocker."



Scotty: "Doctor, I must say I diina know moonshine could tatse so smooth"

McCoy: "Its an old family recipe" [thinking I dare not tell him the secret ingredient is its the secretion from a giant worm]

 

PIKE: So, what was a saying again, doc?

BOYCE: Don't worry, Chris. I doubt it was important.

 

PIKE: Fifty years from now I will have been portrayed by a total of three people. THREE! Can you believe that crap?

 

Pike: I had that dream where I was on a Romulan mining ship again.

Doc: Give me that!

 

Kirk: "No, don't apologize; this water's fine. But I am surprised you have no wine. If we are talking about the same guy, you should know he's got this little trick where he can turn water into wine."

 

Pike: Brane and brane! What is brane?!
Boyce: I'm a doctor, Chris, not an astrophysicist.

 

Kirk: So, how did you get here? Why didn't you stay with the other replicas on Sarpeidon?

Replica: (belches) The old bastard fired me!

Kirk: Fired you! Why?

Replica: Long story. One night Carl Spock showed up at the library with a keg of Romulan Ale and talked me into what he called a "funky love train" with him and Mrs. Atoz. The old man found out and I had to split.

Kirk: Whoa!

Replica: That's not even the worse part. Carl insisted on being the caboose!

Kirk: Nasty!

Replica: The wine? I know.

Kirk: No, the incredible burning sensation you'll be feeling for the next three months.

Replica: How did you know about that....

Kirk: You aren't the first boxcar to be caboosed on one of Carl's love trains.

 

PIKE: Doc,... How many times do I hafta tell ya,... it's 300 credits a week - EVERY WEEK - or I sent Da Boyz around to collect.



SEPTIMUS: And now Captain,... before I allow you to go out with my daughter,... what exactly are your plans for the future?




McCOY: Nurse, you mean to tell me THAT was Spock's Sample!?!?




SCOTT:,.. AND if ya think your gonna tak o'er command of the Enterprise from Cap'n Kirk,... with an oil can,... yer daft man!



KIRK: Well Gentlemen,... it only took till the third season, but we finally grabbed up all the lines from the other actors,.. here's to us!



KIRK: (laughing) So,... so while I am painting him green,... ha ha,... bones does a little quick reconstructive plastic surgery,... ha ha,... and when he finally comes out of it,... ha ha,... we explain to him,... ha ha,... that he is really,... HALF-VULCAN,... and he BOUGHT IT HAHHAhahahhahha!!!!

 

Scotty: "Whisky, Mr. Spock?"
Spock: "No, thank you, Mr. Scott. I think I'll have this canned pina colada mix instead."
*long pause*
Scotty: "It's goin' to be mighty hard for me to take orders from you from now on."

 

SCOTTY: Collecting for the Temperance Society, eh?

SPOCK: We speak against the evils of alchohol

SCOTTY: I'll drink to that!

 

Kirk's had a drinking problem every since that mission over Macho Grande.

 

^ Over Macho Grande?

 

I don't think I'll ever get over Macho Grande

 

Spock: Captain, could you please give us your impression of this drink?

Kirk: I'm sorry Spock, I don't do impressions, I'm a starship captain.

 

Kirk: "I swear, you look just like a librarian I once knew. Went by the name of 'Atoz'."

Atoz/Septimus: "You wanna talk, or you wanna drink."



.

 

Kirk: "Yuck... this tastes like Horta piss. So much for 'The Blacker The Berry, The Sweeter The Juice'."

Spock: "Captain, I do not believe you understand the meaning of tha..."

McCoy: "Spock, do you wanna talk, or do you wanna drink?"


.

 

Pike: (with heavy Italian accent) "But don't ever take sides with anyone against the Federation again, Piper. Ever."




Kirk: "Bones, this is tasty stuff, but you're going to have to do something about the staining. My tongue--it's practically black!"




Scotty: "Here's to yer health, Mr. Spock."
Spock: "Mr. Scott, I do not drink alcohol."
Scotty: "But Mr. Spock, none of this is real."
Spock: "That IS true... Alright then, pour me a bourbon--I'm going to get 'smashed' for once."
Scotty: "Aye, that's the spirit!"




Shatner: "Oh, this stuff is awful! I think Flint forgot what a real Earth drink is like."
Spock: "I actually quite like it. It's very similar to what you would call prune juice."
McCoy: "Oh boy--I think my colon's about to... and I forgot my Depends!"




McCoy: (to Kirk, OS) "Shhhhhh... he thinks it's the real deal."




Kirk: "Wow, this is the best single malt scotch I've ever had!"
Septimus: "There's a huge peat moss bog in these caves, which allows us to create some of the best whiskey on the planet."
Kirk: "No wonder why everybody is so pale--no reason to ever leave."
Septimus: "Indeed."

 

PIKE: So this guy, some actor from some old TV show, is dressed in a tux and holding his cigarette like so. Then he begins to sing with this odd cadence " I think...its going... to be... a long long...time". So bad it became good! Swear to god!