TNG Caption This! 241: Dangerous Situations

Thanks for the selection, Leadhead.



Riker didn't quite know what to do about Captain Picard's starBay buying obsession. This is just his ready-room; you should see his quarters!

 

Riker knew it from the start that it was a bad idea to send the Captain to Risa. He met Vash, and now his room is so full fith artefacts that he started to sneak in the other crew members quarters to deposit her gifts

 

Q: No wonder Jean- Luc doesn't have a woman.. with such a woody and such an out of fashion pijama,no woman would share the bed with him,not to mention the ear wax..I can't even look myself.

 

Q: No wonder you never wear the chaps I gave you for your birthday, Jean-Luc.

 

Picard: "Commander Riker, can I interest you in an 3rd century Rigelian tobacco spittoon?"

Starfleet captain's pay just wasn't cutting for Picard, so he figured why not start a little antiquing business on the side. Riker was not amused.




Poor Worf. That soft fuzzy feeling he felt on his face a couple of nights ago was a "Rabbid Face-hugger". And then today, what he thought was a bit of gagh indigestion turned out to be...

 

Q: "Stop sulking Jean Luc."
Picard: "I'm not sulking."
Q: "Yes you are. What is it?"
Picard: "You never want to cuddle afterwards."




Worf: "Gah, another perfume balloon."
Riker (o/s): "Take the hint ........ and a bath."




Riker (o/s, entering Bridge) "Looks like the Captain and the delegate from Bongus 4 forgot to put the towel under the Ready Room door again."



Geordi: "Made in China....what the hell?"



Riker: "Captian I.......looks like someone has been garage saling again."

 

This Week On Hoarders....

 

Thanks for the win


The first time Q appeared in Picard's bed during his little 'Tapestry' experiment, Picard was horrified. These days, Picard found it was about the only bedroom company he was getting these days.

 

Q: "The sun's already coming up Jean-Luc, and I haven't gotten any sleep. How do you ever get any rest in this tiny bed? You'd think being a captain and all, you'd at least have a queen if not a king sized bed."
Picard: "It's made for just one, Q. One person. Now get out!!"

 

Q: Was it good for you? Because frankly, I've had better.

 

Q: "Honestly, Jean-Luc, that was very disappointing. Vash told me you really put your heart into it. And since you have a mechanical heart, I was really expecting something special!"

 

In Data's quest to be more human, he had Geordi modify his Positronic matrix to simulate headaches. It worked all too well, unfortunately, and no matter what he tried Geordi couldn't stop the migraines.

 

Riker: I think is time to contact counselor Troi.. the captain's addiction of buying artifacts from ebay has gone far enough

 

Thanks for the pick



Q: You're firmer back here than I expected *Squeeze*



After His success with the Iyaaran ambassador Byleth, Worf got stuck with all the douchebag ambassador assignments



In the 24th century, for the purpose of atmospheric emergencies, all Starfleet officers' hands were fitted with oxygen generators



Geordi: Data, I don't think this is what Commander Riker meant when he said "Wipe that smile off your face"



Picard: What crap. Accept one artifact from an old professor, & suddenly everyone thinks they know what to get you for your birthday

 

Geordi installed a "Lullaby" program to help Data learn how to sleep.

 

Picard: "Look at what I found inside one of these artifacts, Will. It's a Barbarella Barbie!"
Riker: "Uh... OK. I'll be going now."

 

LaForge: "This is too much trouble. Next android, we go with a cordless."

 

Riker (OS): "May I interrupt you? I need to print."

LaForge: "I hate to say 'I told you so,' but we really should have picked up a USB hub last time we were in SpaceMart®."

 

Q: "What was that?"
Picard: "How many more times, it is just next door's cat! Now for Pete's sake go back to sleep, I've got a big presentation to give tomorrow!"