Things you'd like to say at work from time to time, but hesitate!

I always love it when staff say, "The other supervisor said XYZ didn't matter."

No, she didn't. I know for a fact that she didn't. No supervisor would ever say something so moronic. What the person said was, "That's not the most important thing," and your idiotic brain heard it as "doesn't matter at all."

 

"You are the laziest, most miserable person I have ever encountered in my entire life."

 

To all my managers: You are such pathetic micromanagers! You don't trust anyone else to do the work, so why don't you just do it all and save all our sanity?

 

"No, I cannot just make a button that does that in one click".

 

I used to feel the same way. Then I became a manager.

 

^Talk about falling to the lure of The Dark Side

 

Really? Another smoke break?

 

#39) RTFC! (Read The Fucking Contract!)

 

"28 school yards in four weeks? F**k off." That's what I wanted to say some time last July to my boss. Now, I didn't say this because I had a sneaky suspicion I would lose my job if I did. but my steely gaze and me speaking through clenched teeth probably spoke volumes about what was going through my mind.

 

"I don't know where you left your hand scanner,have you tried whistling for it?"

"Please and Thank you...not too difficult eh?"

"Stay out of my way for a while".

 

Yes, I'm 10 minutes late back from lunch. Just consider this my smoke break. You never say anything to the smokers who take 20 minutes every hour (at least) even though policy only allows smoking during the 10 minute morning and afternoon breaks and during lunch.

 

"I fucking hate you all."


(That's what I'd say... I don't actually hate any of you)

 

Don't any of you morons know how to operate this death ray? I mean really, how hard is it to hit Paris with a giant laser. We all took that seminar on getting the most out of your Death Ray and it's not like it's brain surgerny.

No, you can't pet the sharks. Yes, their lasers are lethal.

 

If you do have to smoke down in the yard, couldn't you at least stay outdoors until you've aired a bit? (And have a mint, please, or stop exhaling in my office)

 

Treat others how you want to be treated.

Would you help a costumer if they were whistling at you like a dog?

Honestly. I'm a human, treat me like one. Your reply was just the easy way out.