TOS Caption Contest #191: Taking Care of Business

Discussion in 'Star Trek - The Original & Animated Series' started by Rat Boy, Sep 11, 2010.

  1. Noname Given

    Noname Given Fleet Admiral Admiral

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    Announcer: "Next week on Kung Fu, Kwai Chang Caine must confront a deadly Ninja hired to kill him..."
     
  2. Rat Boy

    Rat Boy Vice Admiral Admiral

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    Sulu: "I don't get it; How'd they figure out we're not from around here?"

    O'Neil: "Because you were trying to use a boot for a hat."
     
  3. LeadHead

    LeadHead Director of Comedy Premium Member

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    O'Neil: Why did the Captain send us down here in these ridiculous costumes?

    Sulu: It's a new experiment, seeing if Redshirts will survive if we dress them differently.

    O'Neil is shot and killed.

    Sulu: Sulu to Captain Kirk, same as the Clown Outfit. Maybe we should try the Chicken suit next.
     
  4. Gary7

    Gary7 Vice Admiral Admiral

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    *delete*
     
    Last edited: Sep 16, 2010
  5. Gary7

    Gary7 Vice Admiral Admiral

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    *delete*
     
    Last edited: Sep 16, 2010
  6. Gary7

    Gary7 Vice Admiral Admiral

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    Kirk: "Now you're talking, Bones. With porno on the viewscreen, I'll stay here as long as you want."
    McCoy: "I knew that'd change your mind." (wink)


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    Spock: "Doctor, I wasn't aware of any regulation stating that the passing of digestive related gas from one's posterior orifice would subject that individual to house arrest."



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    Sulu: "Oh... my."
    O'Neil: "You see? I told you, Mr. Sulu. Nobody else brought a live turkey to this Thanksgiving shindig AND we're the only ones in costume. Man, we look like a couple of real jerks."
     
  7. Isis

    Isis Commodore Commodore

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    :lol:
     
  8. Hambone

    Hambone Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

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    MCCOY: According to reports, the planet below has exploding rocks, plants that shoot poisonous thorns and humanoid-seeking lightning. Shall we beam down, Spock?

    SPOCK: Are you crazy? I'm not wasting valuable crewmembers or officers on this miserable planet. Let's send down a couple of those stupid redshirts instead.

    (pause)

    SPOCK: (whispering) They're right behind me, aren't they...
     
  9. cooleddie74

    cooleddie74 Fleet Admiral Admiral

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    O'NEILL: "Shot Heard 'Round the World" my ASS!!!

    RUN!!!
     
  10. cooleddie74

    cooleddie74 Fleet Admiral Admiral

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    KIRK: Why didn't you TELL me the Gaydar Alert light was flashing?!

    I've gotta go!!



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    SPOCK: Am I under arrest?

    McCOY: No, you're being escorted to a birthday party where you're the damned guest of honor.

    GET HIM THE HELL OUTTA HERE!!
     
  11. Gary7

    Gary7 Vice Admiral Admiral

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    McCoy: "Spock, this... this behavior is way out of character for you. As the ship's chief medical officer, I'm afraid I'll have to confine you to quarters."
    Spock: "Very well, doctor. But... can the guards stay with me?"
     
  12. cooleddie74

    cooleddie74 Fleet Admiral Admiral

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    McCOY: Where are you going, Jim? Lay back down!

    The blinking Christmas lights on this board haven't stopped shifting back and forth! I'm not done yet!



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    SULU: Brown robes...long rods...and pale clammy skin!!!

    O'NEILL: Yeah...it's the 1979 Saratoga Springs Trek Convention ALL over again! RUN!!!
     
  13. cooleddie74

    cooleddie74 Fleet Admiral Admiral

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    SPOCK: PLEASE tell me the guards brought devices to flog me with.

    Please?
     
  14. Captain Crow

    Captain Crow Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

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    McCoy: Damn it, I don't care that it's casual Friday! You know better then to come on the bridge like that you pointed-eared hobgoblin! It gives Sulu the vapors.

    Sulu, offscreen: Oh my, the vapors.

    [thud from Sulu hitting the floor]
     
  15. Captain Crow

    Captain Crow Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

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    McCoy: Jim, you need quit putting your pecker in that wet/dry vac of your's. I'm getting tired of having to reattach it.

    Kirk: I can't help it. It's got the proper amount of suction