Star Trek XI Caption Contest #21: Lectures

Discussion in 'Star Trek Movies: Kelvin Universe' started by Rat Boy, Oct 9, 2010.

  1. cooleddie74

    cooleddie74 Fleet Admiral Admiral

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    SPOCK: ...and his NEXT violation of rules on the message board proceeded as follows...
     
  2. Isis

    Isis Commodore Commodore

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    Head Elf: "And our First Commandment is 'never be too generous with the chocolate chips'."
     
  3. LeadHead

    LeadHead Director of Comedy Premium Member

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    Spock: Man, Administrator V'Las, you look terrible.

    [​IMG]

    Kirk: It's last call and you're the only other one here. This night was such a waste.

    Pike: I just offered you a career, dumbo.

    [​IMG]

    Kirk: And at that point I felt it necessary to inform Cadet Uhura about Vulcan Impotence Syndrome...
     
  4. LeadHead

    LeadHead Director of Comedy Premium Member

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    Admiral Tyler Parry: I have heard the arguments and have a ruling. "He who smelt it, dealt it."
     
    Last edited: Oct 20, 2010
  5. Mr. Laser Beam

    Mr. Laser Beam Fleet Admiral Admiral

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    Spock: I understand your enthusiasm, Mr. Kirk. However, all of the cadets here present are entitled to sloppy seconds with Gaila.
     
  6. LeadHead

    LeadHead Director of Comedy Premium Member

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    Kirk: Pint of Order.

    Spock: You mean "Point of Order."

    Kirk: No I meant Pint, I know this is important, but don't you think some booze would really make this assembly work better?

    Spock: Cadet Kirk-

    Admiral Tyler Parry: I agree to the Cadet, get us some kegs.
     
  7. Nerd unRage

    Nerd unRage Commander Red Shirt

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    Your wait will be about an hour. We'll buzz you when your table's ready.



    [​IMG]

    Red rover, red rover, send Spock over.
     
  8. cooleddie74

    cooleddie74 Fleet Admiral Admiral

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    Two...for a non-melding table?

    Let me check first. We've had a busy morning.



    [​IMG]

    SPOCK: ...and then Cadet Kirk got naked, smeared something called "peanut butter" all over his body and proceeded to rub and grind himself all over me...WHILE Admiral Barnett watched!
     
  9. cooleddie74

    cooleddie74 Fleet Admiral Admiral

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    PIKE: You like getting in fights, son?

    KIRK: This an invitation?

    PIKE: PLEASE.

    KIRK: I'm not hearing a "no"...
     
  10. Woulfe

    Woulfe Commodore Commodore

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    Once again, it's Star Trek BBS sing along time.....

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    T'musicman : Is everybody ready ?

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    Kirk & Pike : We need to get in uniform first, just a min.

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    Everyone : Beyond the rim of the star light....
    My love is wandering in star flight....
    I know they'll find in star clustered reaches....
    Love, strange love a star woman teaches....
    I know this journey ends never....
    This Star Trek, will go on forever.....
    But tell them as we wander in starry seas....
    Remember, remember meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
     
  11. cooleddie74

    cooleddie74 Fleet Admiral Admiral

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    According to these records, Spock, your best subject was Gay Vulcan Studies.

    The HELL?!


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    PIKE: That drink's not FREE, kid.

    And I did NOT bring my wallet.


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    ADMIRAL BARNETT: It is the verdict of this council that you, Cadet Kirk, be taken from this place to another place...where you will be forced to watch a week-long cycle of old thirtysomething TV episodes with your eyelids pried wide open.
     
  12. LeadHead

    LeadHead Director of Comedy Premium Member

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    Kirk: Who do you think you are anyway?

    Admiral Tyler Parry: I am the head of Starfleet Academy.

    Kirk: Well I didn't vote for you.
     
  13. JonnyQuest037

    JonnyQuest037 Vice Admiral Admiral

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    :guffaw::guffaw::guffaw::guffaw: Perfect!
     
  14. T'Girl

    T'Girl Vice Admiral Admiral

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    Elder: "Tell me Spock, have you ever seen a grown Vulcan naked?"

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    Pike: "You know, once the house lights come up, this place is really a dive."

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    Starfleet Judge: "Witness, can you identify the murderer!"

    Alien Witness: "Yes your honor, he was a white male human in a red uniform."

    :)

    .
     
  15. Isis

    Isis Commodore Commodore

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    Moderator (to self): "What a boring debate. Just a centrist Democrat and a middle-of-the-road Republican. No tea party candidate, no madam who provided escorts to Eliot Spitzer, no former Black Panther, and--the most disappointing--no 'The Rent Is Too Damn High' Party candidate."
     
  16. cooleddie74

    cooleddie74 Fleet Admiral Admiral

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    ADMIRAL BARNETT: I call a brief recess.

    My wife is calling...damn bitch won't leave me alone until I promise to bring some eggs home with me.
     
  17. cooleddie74

    cooleddie74 Fleet Admiral Admiral

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    And the final question, Spock...to earn your Kolinahr status...


    What is the air-speed velocity of an unladen Earth swallow?
     
  18. LeadHead

    LeadHead Director of Comedy Premium Member

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    Spock: What do you mean? An African or a European Earth Swallow?
     
  19. cooleddie74

    cooleddie74 Fleet Admiral Admiral

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    I...I'm not sure!!

    (*Catapults through air*)
     
  20. T'Girl

    T'Girl Vice Admiral Admiral

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    Elder: "Spock, do you know where you are?"

    Spock: "Fortress of Solitude?"