Trekmovie's starship round-up [SPOILERS]

Dammit! Stop with the spoilers. I have it on good authority from the guy who's sister is the dog-walker for JJ Abrams that the sequel is where TOS time-travellers Bill and Ted try to thwart a plot by TNG time-travellers Jay and Silent Bob to steal all the sombreros from Federation starships. Hilarity and action ensues.