TNG Caption This #219: Worf, Son of Mogh

Worf: (sniff, sniff) "Something smells... meaty."
Picard: "It's the new 3-foot sub, and you can get one at the Subway that just opened up in Ten-forward. Of course, you'll have to get your own--this one's all mine."

 

Okay, crossing series but...



Worf, to corpse; "No, not son of Morn you p'taagh"

 

Worf: "We've got to stop meeting like this."

 

**Click**

WORF: This is so going in the current TV and Media Avatar Contest!

KEIKO: Wait...what???

 

Picard: ...and it was THIS big!

(No response from the others)

Picard: ....THIS big!

(Nothing)

Picard: Nothing? Really? Oh, I forgot to mention that the first guy is a Naasican!

(Still nothing)

Picard: Naasican! Oh, come on, people...THAT'S funny!

Data: Please remove my emotion chip. Immediately.

 

Ooo! Klingon Belly Laugh award. I'm honored



Laforge: Seriously? WTF do I have to do? I can't even get gifted a woman on this ship!



Picard: (singing) A British tar is a soaring soul..."

Worf: Don't even think about it Data



Worf: but it doesn't have a vibrate setting



Data: It appears that Counselor Troi has enabled a lockout authorization

Laforge: I told Reg to delete those sexy holograms of her

Worf: Stand by Doctor. This won't be pretty





STOP SINGING!

 

The crew's hopes for winning Starfleet's annual best Subways ad contest were dashed when Picard suggested reviving the old "five dollar foot long" jingle in a time when no one had money.

 

Worf: "Nice women."

Geordi: "Where?"

 

Alex Trebek (OS): "Mr. Worf, I'm afraid I must disqualify you. Once the Final Jeopardy music starts playing, you are not to hit the buzzer."

 

Worf: "Note to self, the main target is a small thermal exhaust port, right below the main port. The shaft is ray-shielded, so you'll have to use photon torpedoes."

 

Worf:It's been so long I'd almost forgotten what one of those looked like.

 

Worf: "Geordi, remember when I said you could come on this double-date?"
Geordi: "Yeah..."
Worf: "I lied."



Geordi: "I don't get it, Worf. What's your secret?"
Worf: "It's simple, really. I'm ridged for her pleasure."



Worf: "Congratulations, Mrs. O'Brien. I just uploaded this video of you giving birth to YouTube, and you've already got 10,000 views."
Keiko: "What?! I told you to call my husband!"
Worf: "I know, but...this was more fun."

 

9 months later...



Worf: "Worst gift ever!"

 

Keiko: "Damn it Worf, what are you doing now?"

Worf: "Sorry. I thought I would just snap a quick pic to show to Geordi. I don't think he's ever seen one."

 

Worf: "Now I get what the Chief sees in you."



Worf: "Commander, are you sure Doorbell Ditch will work with this large of a group?"

 

Worf: "Umm...shouldn't we remove this small, metallic, ring-shaped ornament?"

 

Kindly part your legs by two percent. No. That is too far. Back again...back...the other way... just a tiny bit more....there! Keep exactly like that. I know it is inconvenient Keiko, but it's the only way I can get a good cell phone signal.

 

Worf: "Come on ladies, I'll show you what a real man is all about. Not like that punk ass Chief Engineer......he's standing behind me, isn't he?"



Picard: "...and then I told Beverly that I 'loved her thiiiis much. For some reason, she started dating Jack the next day."



Worf: "I'm sorry Keiko, but I am going to have to cite you. 10 Forward is not designated for adult entertainment."

Keiko: "Adult entertainment?! I'm giving birth here. You really are thick aren't you."




Geordi: "Welcome back Data. But what's up with having Security and Medical here?"

Data: "Commander Riker has been cat sitting Spot."

Geordi: "Gotcha."



Worf: "That's for not offing her BEFORE the kid was born."

 

Worf: "Heh! I can't wait until the next Dabo tournament at Quark's when Roy Batty starts in with his "I've seen things you people wouldn't believe" spiel again!"

 

Worf: "No Keiko, I do not believe that we have time for "a quickie."