list of boyfriend rules

It's a slippery slope. You know how girls are, all in it for the sex. Some of us just can't control ourselves once we start kissing.

 

Next thing you know we'll be demanding hugs!

 

Wait, you can get pregnant from kissing?

 

Of course! If you attended Catholic schools you'd know this.

 

Son, it's time we had a talk...

 

Depends which lips you use.

 

Last to know!

 

Oh my.

 

They're gateway hugs.

Hugs are the path to the dark side. Hugs lead to heavy petting. Heavy petting leads to sex. Sex leads to suffering.

 

Tu-lips?

 

Most of the women I had relationships with didn't have young children living with them. My health, age, and financial status is such now though (and unlikely to change for the better), that I don't feel it's fair to burden anyone else with my problems. Haven't been in a physical relationship at all for over 15 years.

Though a pretty girl living here at the apartment complex (in her twenties I think) did give me an unexpected hug last week. Unfortunately, I'm old enough to be her grandfather, so I don't foresee anything happening with her.

 

Quit that! My brain becomes fuzzy when people say things like that.

 

But maybe she has a pretty mom (or granny)!
Don't give up that easily.

Hmm, if I understood you correctly, your ideal woman would be a handsome millionaire who is an ingenious medical doctor?

 

Actually, that might not be a bad thing, having lived with someone with no patience!

Mr Awe

 

Nah, I don't like going to doctors. Physical appearance isn't all that important, though I prefer they not immediately make one think of a small planetary body with its own gravitational mass at first sight.

A millionaire? Probably not a good idea, as I only have a small amount of experience in those kinds of social circles (I worked for a film company once but only for a year). I'm interested in personality, not bank accounts, and prefer to pay my own way or do without.

Though it would be nice to travel. I always wanted to visit Europe (particularly UK), and the only other country I've ever been in was Canada about 48 years ago.

She'd have to be a science fiction fan though, otherwise we'd have little in common.

 

Right? Because I've kissed a number of people I haven't ended up having sex with. The idea that a kiss at the end of the first date just means the person is interested in sex would be offensive if it wasn't so absurd.

 

Aw.

 

Maybe we're too vanilla with our old school "kissing on the mouth" ways. Who knows where the kids these days are kissing each other to signal that they only want sex?

 

I'm still trying to figure out why anyone would want to weed out someone who was only in it for the sex.

 

Right? What's wrong with sex? Sex is great.