We haven't had a conversation about tipping in awhile

Shh!

 

I knew it was him. All the crap had brown sauce on it. And stottie crumbs

 

The confession thread is thataway. *points*

 

I'm not the only person who likes brown sauce and stotties. Prove it.

 

Do I dare provoke a Miscellaneous Double Whammy by discussing the treatment of women in a tipping thread? Hmmm, I think I'll go for it. And if things work out, I'll toss in discussing circumcision and declawing cats to really tempt fate.

Anyway, that's pretty outdated and kind of insulting (I know that's not your intention, 005, so don't take it as a criticism of you, just the rules themselves).

1) It's polite to hold a door open for anyone, male or female, as long as you're not one of those jamokes who holds it open for people that are still forty feet away from the door, thus forcing them to do that awkward half run/half walk to get to the door faster lest they feel judged for taking their sweet time to reach the door they never asked you to prematurely hold for them in the first place.

But revolving doors don't have the same rules. Your only concern with a revolving door is making sure you don't get in a comical impasse with someone coming in the wrong way. Revolving doors don't weigh four tons and require a lot of strength to open like Victorian times, and the idea that women need a man to get the momentum started on the door because they're too dainty to push it themselves is equally outdated.

It's better to just let people go through in whatever order they reach the door, and let them set the pace for pushing it so you don't rush anyone through or slow them down. If you walk up to the door at the same time, sure, go through first. It doesn't really matter or call attention to anything. But if you rush past a woman to make sure you lead her through the door it will look like you're implying that she would have difficulty pushing it herself, and that's just insulting rather than "gentlemanly" or polite.

2) Maybe it's just my tall man's perspective, but it seems to me that you'd have to be standing pretty far behind a woman on an escalator or stairs in order to be able to see up her skirt (not counting those pervs who take the upskirt photos with their cellphones held near the ground) anyway. Unless she was in the WNBA star in a miniskirt and you were a Hobbit, it would seem that we would have to require pretty large gaps between people on the stairs or escalator for this to even potentially become an issue, in which case you should just not be a letch and don't stare. Waiting until a woman has reached the top of the escalator or stairs before the next man starts up seems awkward and calling attention to someone again.

If you're a woman's friend or companion and you're protecting her from the thought of you staring up her skirt, or she thinks you're the type of person who would do that yet is still hanging around with you regardless, you two have bigger trust issues to deal with.

3) What kind of douche is the first person to enter a cab but doesn't scoot down to the end of the seat and makes everyone else maneuver around them (or walks around to the rear door on the driver's side if traffic is light and it's not locked)? That's just rude all around, regardless of sex. If you're headed to different locations you should have the person who's leaving first sit closest to the door(s), obviously, male or female, but they should also be the last to enter the taxi.

ETA - Of course, as I was in the middle of my post I had to go take care of something, so when I came back and submitted it there have been a bunch of posts in between where people feel differently than me. So, what do I know? Everyone reacts differently.

 

I give Trek 10%.

 

ITL, Bob and me know he's completely on-topic.

 

No, you have good points. I'm pretty damn weak and I don't need anyone to push a revolving door for me, but I have known people who awkwardly jump in the same compartment with me (behind me) so I like people to go first in general. I don't worry too much about the skirt on stairs/elevator thing. I think the last time that was a concern was when I was in high school and we had to wear our tennis skirts all day on game days. Tennis skirts are just ridiculously short. The skirts I wear aren't so short that anyone would be looking up them I hope.

I do really hate scooting across a seat when I'm in a dress or skirt though.

Edited to add that when RM resurrected this thread, I was going to threaten to resurrect his Treatment of Women thread. But I thought of you and didn't want to send you into a panic attack or something, even with a joke!

 

He's pretty fly, that guy.

 

Seems to me that both people are at fault. The pastor's note was obviously outrageous, but it was also inappropriate to post the receipt with her signature showing.

 

Yeah. My main issue with that list was that while the actions themselves can be polite depending on the circumstances, the original reasoning behind them are kind of outdated and sexist (women are weak, women's virtue needs to be protected, etc.) and in a couple of cases should be something you do for both men and women and not women exclusively.

As soon as I saw his post a had a reaction gif on deck and ready to go just in case.

Agreed. I sympathize with the waitresses' disgust at the way her coworker was treated by the pastor, but she did deserve some punishment for publicizing the identifying information (I probably would go for suspension rather than termination, though).

Also, if Applebees is going to attach a mandatory surcharge for large parties of diners (which is perfectly fair), they shouldn't call it a tip, even if it goes to the server(s). Call it a service charge or something. That way, when the receipt asks for an additional voluntary tip (as this one did), people will hopefully be more inclined to leave one.

 

See, that kind of logic goes right along with the other thread about how stupid are we that we need spelled out warning labels, disclaimer, etc.

Most restaurants like Applebees have a disclaimer written directly on the menu that a mandatory 18% gratuity is added to parties of 6/8 or more. I would hope that customers wouldn't get pedantic because the receipt said "tip 18%" and not "mandatory gratuity 18%."

You should know that going in, and either choose not to eat at that restaurant or limit your group size to 5 or 7. When a gratuity is mandatory, it should be considered a service charge, and you can vote with your wallet and go to another restaurant that will perfectly allow you to stiff your server.

 

So, you agree with me that it should be considered a service charge and you should also leave a voluntary tip if you received quality service, but the mere suggestion that the restaurant chain make an effortless programming change so their receipts distinguish between the two is indicative of incredibly stupid logic and on par with disclaimers like "Do not attempt" in car commercials where they're jumping cars off of cliffs and out of planes?

How many tipping threads have we had where people have been confused by, irritated by, or unfamiliar with tipping customs in the US? To many foreign visitors it's bizarre, and even many people in the US dislike or are confused about the etiquette. So why not make it a bit simpler and avoid confusion when it's such an easy change and probably won't cost anything to implement?

Personally I think it's stupid logic to associate minor beneficial business policy changes with bringing about the dumbing down of society or to think it shouldn't be done to draw some kind of needless line in the sand against encroaching stupidity. But hey, that's me.

 

Yes.

It's already written on the menu. Yet clearly the pastor in question disagreed with the stated policy. Changing it to "service charge" likely would have not stopped her from crossing out the 18% and leaving zero anyway.

Your argument about foreigners being confused about our tipping policy is valid when there is a blank on the receipt to add tip. But in the case of this pastor, the 18% gratuity was already added on the receipt in ADDITION to a blank for additional tip. Nowhere did it say "Oh, if you think this server didn't deserve her mandatory 18%, feel free to cross it out and stiff her". As far as the pastor should have been concerned, she had been presented with an absolute minimum cost of the service of eating at that restaurant, and she chose to leave less. That'd be like me going to the gas station, filling up my tank, and telling the attendant "I feel like I only owe you $2 per gallon of gas, so here's $40."

 

Except I wasn't talking about the pastor there, I was making a separate point about what's printed on Applebee's receipts and why I think they should change it.

I said the waitress was right to be disgusted by the pastor's behavior, so obviously I wasn't implying confusion on her part or that she mistakenly didn't leave a tip. She was clearly making a statement.

 

because of negative stereotypes I over tip

 

The clusterfuck continues...

 

^

-Especially that last batch of captures.

 

I'm glad they fired the stupid server. If somebody doesn't have the basic
common sense to not post personal information online, they should be cleaning bathrooms.