Where the hell have you been?! I have been worried/sexually frustrated since you left, and I am very upset/horny with you at this moment! Explain yourself and/or remove your clothes right now, mister!
Bucket of popcorn, high definition camera, it doesn't matter. You're the delightful purple wallpaper in my sunny room of sunniness. I'm starting to think we've switched roles.
Have we become so old, you and I, that we have outlived our usefulness? Would that constitute a joke? Character development.
Purple wallpaper? Oh, c'mon now. That's not very fair to say. I'm clearly the green wallpaper with neon yellow polka dots that strobe when you look at them too long.
You'll be finishing that sentence with a proper noun later. Just sayin'. Green wallpaper with neon yellow polka dots that strobe? Why didn't you tell me this sooner? Now none of the furniture matches. You've made the credenza look the fool. Congratulations.