Voyager Caption Contest 125: The Trouble with Tom

Mcneill: Singing "You and me baby ain't nothing but mamm-reptiles.So let's-"
Kate: Robbie, please, one take. My neck hurts.



Beltran you're not even scheduled today must you snore right here?

Beltran: I'm protesting my under utilization in this episode. I want to be in black and white too. Not stuck on the bridge mashing buttons.




Their reaction five minutes into Orange is the New Black

 

Paris: Captain our trip to the Xenomorph planet may have had some ... complications (Chestburster then fires out)

 

JANEWAY: Tom, just because we're dressed like candy corn doesn't mean you have to eat an entire bag of candy corn!

 

Torres: The anaglyphic parallax displacement could use some phase modulation.
Paris: Yeah, that's the problem.

 

Janeway: You'll have to walk it off, Tom.


Paris: And keep the change, ya filthy animal!


Paris: Take this gel and SHOVE it! I can't eat it any more.

 

Chakotay: Harry ... I don't need laser tattoo removal!

 

Paris: No, don't-

Janeway: Don't worry, Mister Paris. I can help you!

Paris: You're the one who shot me!

Janeway: You're the one who wouldn't stop at Spacebucks!




RDM: Somebody invent the TrekBBS and have a field day with this!



Paris: Whoops. Turns out this thing doesn't have a stun setting. Sorry, Neelix.



B'Elanna: I picked this one out myself.

Paris: What is it?

B'Elanna: A Rom-Com.

Paris: I'm outta here-

(Laser dot appears on Paris' chest)

B'Elanna: I deactivated the holodeck safety protocols. Sit down and enjoy the movie, dear.




Tuvok: (over comm) Security Alert. Animal House re-creation in the mess hall. Escort the guilty parties to the Dean's office immediately.

 

"Carl Fucking Spock: The Movie, Bitches -- in C-D"


(Carl-Dimensional)

 

Paris: If I squint I can almost see a light at the end of the tunnel.

 

TOM: I can't see nothin, you gotta open my eye. Cut me Mick

JANEWAY: Just how hard did that little girl hit you?

 

^LOL!


Janeway: Just how old was that Twinkie, anyway?
Paris: Only centuries!




Tom: Hello my baby, hello my honey, hello my ragtime gal....




Paris: Seven? And - a 1950's robot??
Janeway: At least we've solved the mystery of the missing bioneural gel....
Kim: But - how did he -
EMH: Not with opera, I can tell you that!




B'Elanna: So those blue thingies - are avatars?
Tom: No, they're the aliens. The avatar is the blue thingy belonging to the dude in the wheelchair.
B'Elanna: And this unobtainium - what's its atomic configuration?
Tom: It's a rare-pandora element covalent molecule of handwavium and hardtofindium. It's able to withstand extreme plot improbabilities without losing box office integrity.
B'Elanna: And the blue thingies - smoke it?
Tom: No.
B'Elanna: Then - are we supposed to smoke it?
Tom: Apparently.




Neelix: According to your Wikipedia, the Flying Spaghetti Monster demands sacrifice!
Tom: Stop telling me about my own culture!

 

This Version of Munch's 'The Scream' was destroyed as the Creator felt the foreground detracted too much from the image!

 

Janeway: Mister Paris, we've been over this. No one believes you have X-ray vision.


Robert: Kate, do you mind if I borrow your cell phone?
Kate: I suppose not. Who are you calling?
Robert: My agent. I need to fire him.


Torres: My god! It's worse than I imagined!
Paris: Yep. And they never let Shatner direct again.

 

Torres: Seven of Nine - in 3D?
Paris: Where we're going, we don't need roads!

 

Just a quick heads up, gonna be updating this contest in a couple of days! So get 'em all in soon if you want to still submit!

 

Paris: There can be no justice so long as laws are absolute! Now let's be gettin' jiggy wi' it, arrgggghhhhh!
Janeway: Nailed it.
Kid: Wow, he's good! Who was that, somebody's kookie grandpap?

 

I'm chomping at the bit for new ones. whee!

 

Kid: This is only the second episode. You'd think they'd make more effort with the costumes
Janeway: I know, these are just so laughable & cheap
Paris: I'm so disgusted it hurts



Paris: What is it?
kim: It's so small
Janeway: It's Beltran's enthusiasm for the show
EMH: May it rest in peace



Paris: This porno is so messed up
Torres: So that's why it's called "the Vulcan"



Paris: This is what i think of your Voth Semen stew
Female Ensign: No!!......i loved it

 

Paris: Captain they're not playing Galactic Dodge ball by the rules!

Boy: *silently* To think I looked up to you.

Janeway: since when has rule following been your mantra?

Paris: Kim's influence. Whining gets him places.

Janeway: I just let him think that. I don't promote whiners.

 

Buenos dias, Voyager captioners.

My life has been CRRRRAZY lately because of my new job and some personal things, but I will update this weekend. I am posting this to hold myself accountable!