NEELIX: He. He. He's such a dick. Such a massive dick. TUVOK [OC]: Bridge to annoying woman who runs the ship. JANEWAY: Go ahead, dull-boy.
Tuvok: We've been ensnared by a hacker, hacker, hacker, (yadayadaa) Janeway: Is he up to his vulcan games again? Guesses, Lieutenant?
TORRES: It might be voodoo magic or pixies, but I'm just making shit up now. My guess is.. (Peace is restored.) TORRES: The ship is a pile of crap and nothing ever works.
Janeway: Janeway to bridge: Hurry your asses to engineering. Kes, we got to bail. Put down the booze everyone and look alive. Neelix: but what about my cake? You ungrateful humans Janeway: Throw it. I wear a size two uniform. And I can't have that added to my midsection.
[Bridge] KIM: Computer says space is weird and getting weirder. I'm gonna guess that it's some kind of wibbly-wobbly anomaly. TUVOK: Is the weird wibbly-wobbly space thing the reason why the coffee machine isn't working?
Kim: I don't see how. It's emitting a signal. It sounds like Metallica. No wait, Busta Rhymes? Could it be all the stolen music from the 20th century? It's about to intercept us! Tuvok: You heard Ensign Red shirt. Full stop and reverse. Crew woman: Whatever
KIM: There's no God damn reverse button. We're inside a ring (so why don't we just go up?) TUVOK: We'll have to go through it (even though it's a ring so we could just go up or down to escape it).
Kim: So I'm not stuck doing hull repair let's not. Tuvok: look, you said we'll make contact whether we ram in blindly or not (is it a ring or a sphere?) Let's see if this anomaly will predictably cut our warp field. Engage Warp 3
Tuvok: It's your turn to tell the Captain we neither warp capability nor coffee, black. Kim:F*** that, dawg. It's your turn! [Suddenly intimidated] Aye.
[Corridor] BAXTER: Ensign Kim, I'm a lieutenant but I'm gonna talk to you like your my superior. What's going on? KIM: We've encountered some spacey type problems. It done totally broke the ship.
KIM: Hard nipples? BAXTER: First they were soft but then they got pointy. Then I understood it was because it was cold; not because I was aroused. The computer wouldn't heat them when I asked it to.
Kim: May I see them? Baxter: Yeah you can! Behold! Kim: Niiiiice. Oh yeah, I better tell the Captain about the broke ship. Baxter: Should I show her my nipples?
KIM: Yes, you dumbass. Stay at your post and whatever happens... do not go to the holodeck where all the important people are. BAXTER: I'll go find some friends so we can hold hands.
[Turbolift] Janeway: The first thing I want to do when we get to the bridge is check my spacebook page. Chakotay: Whut?
JANEWAY: Where the hell did we go? PARIS: Fourth floor. CHAKOTAY: Maybe the computer is broken because the ship's run by incompetent idiots.
Paris: I don't think so. The computer is smarter than those idiots. A fail safe. Janeway: And yet we idiots will override manually.