G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra - Grading & Discussion

This movie reminds me of the Street Fighter movie from the 90s (the one with Raul Julia and Van Damme), except done better. Lets be honest all the backstories and characters were contrived nonsense, but the action was immensely watchable, and I could actually follow most of what was going on in the set-pieces. Some of the cheesy backstories were entertaining to in a cracker-jack sort of way.

Entertaining fluff.

 

I do have to wonder what they were thinking with the Norton product placement, considering it was hacked in seconds. Not the kind of message you want to send about your computer security system.

 

Above average, but would be excellent if only they showed a bit restraint from the CGI stuff. However I enjoyed the hell out of this movie! Unlike the two T's that sucked like a fat pornstar on her first audition, this movie actually was fast paced and honest about what its intentions were! An action movie that brought to life the imaginations we had as children whilst playing with our action figures. Thoroughly enjoyed it!

 

You are assuming that it was a product placement. I think they used a commonly known "name" in computer security in order to project just "how good" the hacker was...

 

everybody bitching about Snake Eye's mouth should check the v2 figure. IT HAS A MOUTH MOULDED ON IT! they're obviously aping that (the most famous version) and the 18th figure which was the one with the Arishikage hexagram on the shoulder.

 

This movie was a steaming pile of dog shit. It didn't capture the things I liked about 'classic Joe' at all. It was just lame one liners strung together by nonstop headache inducing CGI. The Adult Swim series from a few months back was so far superior to this that they should've just made a live action adaptation of that.

 

Are you sure you didn't see Transformers again?

 

G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra" took command of the weekend box office with a $56.2 million debut domestically. Worldwide, "G.I. Joe" has marched to $100 million.


Yahoo news.


http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20090809/ap_on_en_mo/us_box_office

 

I actually had the sense to skip Transformers 2. I was going to skip GI Joe as well. But I had suggested to my friend that we watch "Let the Right One In", not knowing what a terribly dubbed, and plodding borefest it was. So I figured I owed it to him to watch The Rise of Cobra.

And someone made a good point earlier. Considering how Cobra pretty much gets it's ass kicked, calling this thing The Rise of Cobra is kind of like if they had called the original Star Wars something like The Empire Strikes Back.

 

Rachel's got a cracking set of pins...

 

Yeah, looks like my initial estimate of around $65 million for the weekend was way off. It appears the film was quite front-loaded ($22,250,000 on Friday, $18,250,000 on Saturday, and $15,700,000 on Sunday), which leads me to think this movie probably won't have legs at the box office.

I still haven't seen it... and I doubt I will. Even when I was a kid in the 80s/90s, I never cared much for G.I. Joe, and the ads I've seen for this film don't really appeal to me. So I think I'll pass.

 

Wow. You and me just don't agree on anything. I loved "Let The Right One In" although I'll grant you that it is VERY slow.

It's funny. I know people who refuse to see this movie just because they hate Tatum Channing or Channing Tatum or whatever his name is. Apparently he's the new Orlando Bloom(#1 Hollywood Pretty Boy who can't act). I've never seen him in anything other then this, and he wasn't bad. He played the typical Army Guy. It's not that hard to pull off.

 

^^^^^
I quite enjoyed it too, but I will also admit that the pacing is a bit sluggish at times. Plus, I saw the subtitled version, so I don't know how bad the dubbing is on the version he saw.

 

Box Office Mojo is also reporting its budget was $175million!
Now granted I can tell they spent money in places but other times in the movie the CGI was so bad that they didn't get their money's worth.
Be curious to see if Monday actuals bumps this or if its a high estimate and its actual weekend is lower.

 

I went in not expecting much but I was actually entertained and thought it was better than what I've been reading. Not once was I cringing or thinking "is it over yet?" like I was when I saw Transformers this year. That movie sucks compared to this one. It's too bad people don't have imaginations anymore and that seems to be the reason this movie is not doing as good as it should be, everyone is afraid of having an imagination. I wasn't thrilled about a lot of the changes to the Transformers but I accepted it and didn't hold that as a deciding factor in whether or not I liked those two movies. GI Joe is so much better than Bay's two TF movies in that the acting was much better and it didn't feel weird hearing the names being said. Of course, the ending kind of sucked but if they do a sequel, I pray they fix their mistake. It was a fun movie and isn't that why it was made? Isn't that WHY we go see a movie? Isn't that WHY we buy them later on? All those critics that rag on this movie need to open their minds a bit. It's FICTION! I think that's something they have forgotten.

And for those that played Mass Effect, doesn't Commander Shepherd look a lot like the actor that plays Duke? Did they model Shepherd after him or is it just a coincidence.

 

Not to mention a pinning set of cracks.

How fucking smart is Rip Cord? Is he a genius or a moron? The wheels were turning so bloody slowly, Peter Griffen slowly, granted he was the only one to figure out that Doctor Who was the baddie, but how? Was he thinking it over in his head for the whole time, like trying to solve a combination lock one combination at a time in sequential order, until the script needed someone to have an epiphany?

Deus ex machina much?

And why was Cullen so concerned about incriminating himself by just making and arming his own nanites in his own factory, when ultimately he made a ripe patsy of himself by turning on that transponder code like a right nonce screaming to the world that he is evil and should surely be locked in a little box.

Considering how they treated Cobra Commander and Destro in the End, I do believe that they are completely with in their rights to be vengeful on the people that did this to them and would continue doing this to them, because that looked like they were stuck in a coffin with out trial or promise of release or any contract defining the terms or quality of their confinement, that given the alternative of life in a coffin fed through a tube for the next 6 decades or murdering 400 people for a scodge of Lebensraum, it doesn't seem unreasonable to wade through a blood bath and if positions were reversed, this isn't anything the good guys wouldn't think about doing to the bad guys.

Is the "prison" a toy available from Hasbro?

 

Maybe they were in Gitmo?

I still want to know why this underground compound of elite soldiers was as about as secure as a 7-11 and staffed by about the sane caliber of people -aside from our main, characters.... er.... and inside that aside from Rip Cord.

 

It was ok.

Maybe if I remembered more of the toon it would of been better. Maybe if I had re watched some episodes like I did for Transformers (those old cartoons are even cheesier than I remember) I would of enjoyed it more.

One of the few things I remember about the cartoon is Serpentor (had to google and wiki the name). At the time I remember liking the mini series where he was introduced. Not sure if that would help this franchise any but the character is no more cheesy than the green goblin or many other sci-fi/fantasy/comics bad guys. And I don't remember thinking destro or cobra commander "cool" even as a little kid....

I don't think I will watch a sequel, I did not think I would watch this one and it didn't leave me wanting for more.

 

That was by far the worst movie I've seen in theaters in recent memory. Absolutely atrocious!