TOS Caption Contest #73 - Private Time

McCoy: "Dammit, Nurse, I'm getting tired of people raiding the lab and stealing urine samples. What the hell could they want it for, anyway?"




Freeman: "Dude, he's so drinking it!"

Scotty: "Quiet, lad."

 

Even tho they were both laughing, Chekov still didn't get it when Scotty said that he lost the other 4 fingers in uhuras quarters last night.

 

McCoy's increasingly weak bladder complicated all his secret romantic liaisons with Nurse Chapel.




NO-NAME LIEUTENANT:"You ever have one of those days, Mister Scott, when you wish time-traveling Starfleet people from a hundred years in the future would come back get involved in a violent bar brawl?"

 

^ That's Officer Freeman ^

- W -
* Just to let you know *

 

^ Actually, Paul Baxley, Shatner's stand in and stunt double, is officially credited as Ensign Freeman although he's obviously a lieutenant.




Doohan: I slipped one of Bill's hairpieces in with the tribbles on the bar. Just wait a second. When Stanley sees it, he'll howl.

 

Most awkward Bergman scene ever.


FREEMAN:"HEY...I didn't get my 50% senior discount on my drink! Dammit, I haven't spent thirty long-ass years as a lowly lieutenant for nothing!!"

 

Kirk, offscreen: "All right, who's next?"




Scotty: "... and the last thing I remember saying is 'Pull my finger.'"

 

Bartender: "...and I personally spat in every fourth drink."

*massive spit take*




Announcer: "Coming this fall: 'The New Adventures of Older Christine.'"

 

Stuntman: "I love Ladies' Night here."
Chekov: "The vaitress is in error: she only charged me half price for this. <takes drink>"
Scotty: "Heh."

 

Scotty, in realisation: "...And then i said to the captain, why do we never wear civilian clothes on temporary leave?"

 

"That's it, Leonard...be a bastard!!

Knock up a girl while she's propped against a bulkhead and then LEAVE like a flaccid coward!! See if I care!!!"



FREEMAN:"This is the life, ain't it?

We get to wear tight velour that shrinks in uncomfortable places...drink liquor that looks like it came straight out of the malfunctioning engine conduits of an Orion freighter...get in bar fights with aliens who look like villains from old 20th century Fu Manchu movies...and then to top it all off, go back to our ship and watch our own captain get all the tail and leave nothing for us!"

 

Scotty: Just wait 'til those Klingons find out Sulu's got herpes!

 

Scotty: "Told ya bringing along Dr. McCoy's ass-rubbing clone would be a good idea."



Khan: "You idiot! That's not Kirk. You've phasered his stunt double!"

 

"Easy, lads...don't drink TOO much. The barkeep's got a special surprise for us a little later on...somethin' he calls a Tossed Salad. He suggests we not be TOO drunk or else neither of us will bloody enjoy it."




"Doctor...do...do you ever get that...not-so FUTURISTIC feeling?"

 

Dr McCoy couldn't stand to watch Nurse Chapel do her Amy Winehouse impersonation in the ship's Stars In Their Eyes competition.

 

Nurse Chapel: So that's why they call him Bones.

 

In addition to manufacturing furniture, planet IKEA was a also a fun place to hang out.

 

McCoy: "I do know one thing about Klingon anatomy ..."

 

Scotty: Hell, I knew Korax when his name was Lucy.