I honestly don't know how you kept a straight face during this meeting. This reminds me of the time that I was in one of my graduate school discussion seminars and we were on the subject of some rape incident in the 1960s. There was an older gentleman in the room who was talking very seriously about it and said something along the lines of "I could ask my old friends of the time how they had felt about it, use them as primary sources, but I can't because they're all dead now." For some reason this struck me as particularly hilarious and I let out a completely inappropriate chortle. I attempted to disguise it as a bad cough and left the room to "get some water." Laughing about rape and death probably isn't a good idea!
Sounds like a perfectly nice and innocent game to me. If one can't think of anything good for a particular year offhand, make something up: "I'm sure I had a burrito at some point that year, and I love burritos, especially when they've got fresh mango slices!" I feel badly for the women who were mistreated, and like others said, hope they find the counseling, but without blaming anyone, it's a shame that some mixture of past trauma and a lack of common sense put a damper on such a well-intentioned activity.
These ice-breaker things sound great in theory but theroy doesn't always translate into practice. People tend to remember the best and worst things more clearly than the average usual stuff that happens. Some might not even be entirely comfortable with the whole ice-breaker thing, and rather say they are not comofrtable they say something just to be seen to be taking part. In any given group of people it's likely you'll have outgoing and shy people to varying degrees, shy people aren't always comfortable with these things.
^ I hear you, but if you can't BS something light, interesting and appropriate, you just aren't trying, and that's rudeness. Socially awkward? Memorize a few jokes. During this exercise, you can then say, "ah, yes, 1993, that was the year I heard this awesome joke." And then you tell the joke. Learning to chit-chat is quite simply an essential part of growing up, and a necessary skill in today's white-collar economy.
Rudeness not to produce personal information on demand? That has nothing to do with the job? I disagree. I hate this sort of crap myself. And I can talk to anybody. Socially awkward makes it a lot harder to take the risk of making jokes. No one ever learned to chit chat from ice breakers. If you want chit chat give people food and go out of your way to talk to the quiet ones. I agree it's a necessary skill.
^agreed, the shy, quiet, more social awkward types tend to better in small groups, in larger groups they can find themselves talked over. In most meetings you'll find the more outgoing personality types try and take control, drowning out the quieter types. Same with parties and social events, quieter types generally need to be brought in to the conversation, they rarely initiate things. Not every outgoing person can understand how uncomfortable these ice-breakers can be for less out-going people. Ice-breakers are in part supposed to relax people, shy personality types can feel they are being put on the spot, the exact opposite of relaxing. It's all about getting the right ice-breaker.
I was in this ice breaker group once where the leader had the brilliant idea that, "now we are all going to turn to the person on our right and give them a shoulder massage!" I was like, EXCUSE ME?! FUCK OFF!!
OMG I would flip out. I don't even like significant others giving me massages! A handshake is the most physical contact I'm willing to provide at work, and even that is something I really wish we didn't have to do.
Some of the replies in this thread... almost busted a gut! This is really what makes TBBS so worth reading. I agree, this game playing bit definitely sounds like something straight out of The Office or even from a Dilbert strip. To think that it happened in the real world, well it's just nuts. I understand what the boss was trying to do, but she should have said "something interesting you did or experienced" and "don't make it too personal". And she should have stepped right in after the first sign of a very personal confession. I think the best way to ice-break is to just put people in a fun and relaxing situation. Take them out for a picnic lunch or some activity they can all do together.
You and me both! The only icebreaker I ever remember enjoying was one where we told the group three things about ourselves, two true and one not, and then answered questions about them. The rest of the group had to decide which one was the lie. Fun. And no pressure, because no one was forced to be the center of attention. The leader just asked for a few volunteers. I think the lack of pressure made it more effective as an icebreaker, because we really did relax and have fun.
Getting all touchy-feely with people you barely know? Eew. I thought that sort of thing was for 1970s "encounter groups." Now, this party game from Darling (1965) I'd definitely not recommend.
My mother in law was in one last week where all groups of people took off their shoes, blindfolded each other and had to get on the floor and indentify each other's shoes. What the fuck happened to America?