"Time's Arrow" Line-by-Line

London: Isn't that what makes America great?

 

DATA: To what are you referring?

 

LONDON: Well, a man rides into town in his pajamas, wins a grub stake at a poker table, turns it into a horseless carriage and makes a million bucks. That's America!

 

Data: I believe I have given you an erroneous impression.

 

LONDON: You know, some day my ship's going to come in.

 

DATA: You have a ship?

 

London: Oh yeah, and it's full of gold too. I'm just biding my time til it gets here, raising a stake any way I can. I've been a newsie, cut fish at a cannery. Heck, I've even been an oyster pirate.

 

Data: You have had a considerable spectrum of occupations.

 

London: Yeah, well, you can't stay in one place too long. I'm always looking for the angle, you know. Say, maybe you and I could go into business together, selling your horseless carriage and all. You invent them, I sell them. I can sell anybody anything. What do you say?

 

Data: I believe your plan is a bit premature.

 

Jack London (supposedly): Keep it in mind, though. I better get back. Oh, I forgot. I got you something at the bakery on Third.

(puts down a newspaper with a squashed something in it)

 

It's a squished croissant, by the way.

Data: Thank you, Jack.

Data is about to get money to pay Jack.

 

London: Oh, no, no, no. It's on me, partner.

(in the paper is a picture of a woman exactly like our Guinan, over the strapline 'Literary Reception Announced')

 

[You know, if you're going to copy and past directly from a website that has all of the lines in it already you take all of the fun out of this. Sure, I use it to know what the lines are but I also recently watched the episodes to refresh my mind on what's going on in the scenes and such. The transcript loses flavor and the "squashed something" and "out Guinan" bits are sort of obvious. .... Just saying.]

- In the ballroom of a Victorian home, there's a party going on. A man is talking to the humor of those listening. He's a tall white-haired man with a mustache in a white suit. He lights a cigar as he talks. -

SAMUEL CLEMENS/MARK TWAIN: The eminent scientist Alfred Russell Wallace has revived the theory that Earth is at the center of the stellar universe. This distinguished natural philosopher has reaffirmed our planet as the only habitable globe in the heavens. A world, furthermore, constructed for the sole benefit of man. He's got a lot of folks excited about the notion.

 

GUINAN: My dear Mister Clemens, why do I think you're not one of them?

 

Clemens: Your suspicions, Madam Guinan, are undoubtedly based upon your keen observational skills. Now, if you'll permit me, I'll continue my character assassination unimpeded.

I'm sure I'm not the only one who doesn't own the episodes anymore. My VHS copies got thrown out some long while ago because I haven't owned a VCR for two years or so now, nor can I currently afford the DVDs. The transcripts are the only way I, for one, have got to go on many of these episodes and I'm sure I'm not alone. ... Just saying.

 

GUINAN: My dear Mister Clemens, please do. Please do.

 

Clemens: According to our best geologic estimate, the Earth is approximately one hundred million years of age. Perhaps it is less, perhaps more.

 

GUINAN: Perhaps a great deal more.

 

CLEMENS: Indeed. But regardless, it is ancient in the extreme. Now, geology also tells us that man himself has existed for but a microscopic fraction of those years. Curious, isn't it, that the world got by for such a great long while with no humans around to fill up space? I suppose Mr. Wallace and his supporters would say that the Earth needed all that time to prepare itself for our illustrious arrival. Why, the oyster alone probably required 15 million years to get it to come out just right.