Kirk: Mr. Scott, what do you mean you accidentally routed the warp drive through the sonic shower system? The 124th season of Romulan Idol got off to a horrendous start. Kirk's answer to the agony booth was an hour listening to him sing "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds."
Commander Sonak: "If I had any emotions, I would speak on how painful it is to have your testicles reformulated onto your chin." At the Quadrant Peace Summit, Uhura's singing had an unforseen effect on the Romulan delegation. Spock realized he had put on the wrong spacesuit when Sulu's "special modifications" to the Waste Extraction Unit were activated.
Spielberg rejected the new CGI "faces melting" effects for the remastered Raiders of the Lost Ark. Spielberg didn't like the effects lab second attempt any better. Spielberg: That's much closer to what I had in mind.
Kirk: "I told you to beam her clothes off, not her skin. Pick another yeoman and try again." Where will you be when cooleddie's diarrhea returns? Spock's inner eyelid was no protection against the magnificence of the Pink Panther diamond.
Kirk: "Eh. I'd still fuck her." What the Romulans said: "Captain Picard, please honor us with your presence." What the malfunctioning Universal Translator said: "Captain Picard, please spray us with your feces." Even in a spacesuit, Spock was still able to Nerve Pinch himself in the nuts.
SCOTTY:"Uh oh. The pattern buffer thinks they're in an old Pink Floyd video. Reroute them into the backup buffer!" Ruling imperially is easy. Fecal comedy is hard. Commander Spock made history when he discovered a Vulcan male doesn't need a female to achieve pon farr...especially in a space suit with three adjacent hose nozzles.
Yes, the transporters may frequently result in horrible death, but on the plus side they look pretty psychadelic. It evens out. David Lynch directs a Star Trek movie. In space, no one can hear the Bilbo Baggins song.