Thank you to all who participated last week! This week's theme is "Just Another Day in Ops". I had intended for some april-foolery, so have fun -- but first, winners! And finally... And now, to this week's theme: Just Another Day at the Office -- Ops, that is. This one will be open at least two weeks, possibly three given the number of shots. The next contest will resume the countdown to 100!
BASHIR: I swear, I don't want you to be submissive. THIRD DAX (os): Julian, you imagined TWO Daxes? BASHIR: Oh boy. OSCAR: QUARK! This is not the holoprogram I asked for! QUARK (os): Sorry! For 4% of the human population I've never actually met a gay person before, apparently I have your fantasies wrong. SISKO: I want to flood my quarters with chroniton radiation, and you won't talk me out of it. KIRA: But, the prophets! SISKO: A VISION. EVERY TIME I'M GETTING NAKED WITH CASSIDY. O'BRIEN: This is a James Bond movie? BASHIR: This is the 2047 version, after they lost all their funding. MICHAEL (os): Dwight, for the last time, you can't bring that batt'leth into the office. DWIGHT: But it's National Klingon Appreciation Day! MICHAEL (os): And your weird friends can't come in either. DWIGHT: IT'S REAL! It's not a story! In my other life I'm a black man and the captain of a space station! I SWEAR IT'S REAL! JIM: Right. Are you a virgin on the space station too?
Woo hoo! TFTW & EC Smellincoffee! Pam, you can go ahead and marry Roy. Me and my replicator took care of bizness 24th century style. I blame you for Wolf 359, Locutus. Bears. Beets. Battlestar Galactica. Plan a party, Angela. Oh! And the entire world will see it. Oh! And here’s $65.00 for your budget. Oh and here are four idiots who’ll do nothing but weigh you down. Oh. And your cat’s still dead. Primero: ¡La victoria es la vida! Bob Vance, Vance Replication. Bob Vance, Vance Replication. Bob Vance, Vance Replication. Damar: I will use the deflector array to shoot an antigraviton beam that will take out your self-replicating minefield. Rom: I'm going to get married. Uh-oh, where are Leeta and I going to live?
Thanks for the win! Farrell: (Episode commentary Track) So it wasn't until Season 4 that they told me that the real Jadzia was killed off-screen in this episode and replaced by the fantasy Jadzia. Kira: Worf is being mean to me! Worf: Am not! Kira: Are too! Worf: AM NOT! Sisko: (thinking) So glad Jake is an only child. Klingon: Sweet! We're going to take over Ops! It's not like one human with a hand phaser set to wide beam could take all of us down-
Dax: Julian, why do you have a hologram program of me in your private files? Bashir: ........ Oscar: What the hell are you doing? Dwight: Why I'm picking up a large quantity of chroniton particles from you Oscar. Oscar: What the hell are you talking about Dwight? Dwight: Department of Temporal Affairs - your coming with me. Oscar: Human fool, you'll never stop me! Sisko: What can I do for my two executive officers? Kira: Odo told me he loves me, and I don't know what to do. Worf: Jadzia and are are having marital problems. Sisko: Dammit you two! I have that Vic Fontaine program running permanently so I can avoid conversations like this! Alien #1: Don't you find it strange that the only distinguishable difference between us and these terrans is a bump above our upper lip. Alien #2: It is remarkable that our appearance could evolve to match there's so closely considering we our from totally different planets on opposite ends of the galaxy, but it serves our infiltration plans perfectly. Alien #3: Yes, with these "moustaches" we will blend in flawlessly! Sisko: Ah gentlemen, welcome aboard. As you can see I have four of Starfleet's finest snipers with their phaser rifles trained on you right now. So ask yourselves, is today a good day to die? Dwight: Here's that stapler you asked for. Jim: Thank you Dwight. Dwight: Did you see Deep Space Nine last night? Jim: Yeah, great episode. Dwight: I enjoyed it too. Glad we found something we both like to build a solid working relationship on. Jim: Me to Dwight, me too.
DAX: So much for not being able to mimic humanoids, eh Odo? BASHIR: Odo? But I just.... ODO: You just got busted for sexual harassment, Doctor.
Dax: This isn't funny, Julian. Get rid of her. Bashir: No, this isn't funny. The holographic Keiko programmed to appear whenever Miles is having an argument with Keiko in their quarters is. Or Holographic Dukat in Nerys' sonic shower.