Best Witty Dialog Contest.

Discussion in 'General Trek Discussion' started by T'Girl, Nov 23, 2011.

  1. T'Girl

    T'Girl Vice Admiral Admiral

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    Witty, to be intelligent and clever in perception and expression. I'll start.

    -------------------------------

    Spock, from Tomorrow is Yesterday ...

    The aircraft has completely broken up, Captain ... shall we turn off the tractor beam?

    :)
     
  2. FormerLurker

    FormerLurker Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    Also from Tomorrow is Yesterday:

    I'm going to lock you up for two hundred years.

    That ought to be just about right.
     
  3. Jonas Grumby

    Jonas Grumby Vice Admiral Admiral

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    Sulu: "Aha, fair maiden!"
    Uhura: "Sorry, neither!"
     
  4. Bones_McCoy21

    Bones_McCoy21 Commander Red Shirt

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    This is from The Trouble With Tirbbles- Montgomery Scott:When are y'gonna get off that milk diet, lad? Pavel Chekov:This is vodka! Montgomery Scott: Where I come from, that's soda pop. Now, this is drin for a man. Pavel Chekov: Scotch? Montgomery Scott: Aye. Pavel Chekov: It was invented by a little old lady from Leningrad!
     
  5. Rush Limborg

    Rush Limborg Vice Admiral Admiral

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    This one's a classic--from "Extreme Measures" (DS9):

    O'Brien: Should've left a note for Keiko...let her know what we were doin'....

    Bashir: Ah, why worry her?

    O'Brien: No! I wan-wan-want--her and the kids to understand...why I had to do this....

    Bashir: Oh, she'll understand--she'll know. You...you did it for me.

    O'Brien: Huh! That's what'll upset her the most! She always said that I...liked you more than I like her.

    Bashir: HA! Tha--tha--tha--that's ridiculous!

    O'Brien: Right.

    Bashir: Well, maybe--maybe you do. A...a bit more....

    O'Brien: What? Are you crazy--she's my wife! I love 'er!

    Bashir: Of COURSE you love her!

    O'Brien: Yeah.

    Bashir: She's your WIFE!

    O'Brien: Yeah!

    Bashir: I'm just saying: maybe you...like me a bit more, that's all....

    O'Brien: I do not.

    (long pause)

    Bashir: You spend more time with me.

    O'Brien: We work together!

    Bashir: We have more in common.

    O'Brien: (tired) Julian...you are beginning to annoy me....

    Bashir: Darts? Racquetball? Vic's Lounge? The Alamo? Need I go on--?

    O'Brien: I loooooooooooove...my wife.

    Bashir: (dreamily) And I love Ezri. Passionately.

    O'Brien: You do?

    Bashir: Yes....

    O'Brien: Have you told her?

    Bashir: No, not yet. But I will.

    O'Brien: Oh, yeah? Heh! When?

    Bashir: When I'm ready! (Pause) It's just that I...like you...a bit more! See? There--I've admitted it.

    O'Brien: (Nods in final understanding) Yeah. Well...

    (long pause)

    O'Brien: I love my wife.
     
  6. Paradon

    Paradon Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Uhura: "That thing's gotta have a tail pipe."
     
  7. Mr. Laser Beam

    Mr. Laser Beam Fleet Admiral Admiral

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    "Sir, there is a multilegged creature crawling on your shoulder."

    Just the way Spock says it. :guffaw:
     
  8. captcalhoun

    captcalhoun Admiral Admiral

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    Kirk's flim-flamming the Iotians with Arcturian Fizz-bin and asks Spock the odds of getting some crazy score or other.

    Spock: I've never computed them, Captain

    Kirk: Well, they're astronomical, believe me.
     
  9. Mr. Laser Beam

    Mr. Laser Beam Fleet Admiral Admiral

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    Majel's entire delivery of the 'Computed and recorded, DEAR' scene.
     
  10. sonak

    sonak Vice Admiral Admiral

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    "Spock, you haven't changed a bit. You're still as warm and sociable as ever."



    That one from Dr. McCoy in TMP is just perfect for that moment.
     
  11. Phily B

    Phily B Commodore Commodore

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    first one that came to mind
     
  12. spot_loves_data

    spot_loves_data Captain Captain

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    EMH to Seven: Between impulse and action there is a realm of good taste begging for your acquaintance.
     
  13. captcalhoun

    captcalhoun Admiral Admiral

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    EMH1 Stop breathing down my neck!
    EMH2 My breathing is a simulation.
    EMH1 So is my neck, stop doing it anyway!
     
  14. Tiberius

    Tiberius Commodore Commodore

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    That green blooded sonuvabitch! it's his revenge for all those arguments he lost!
     
  15. toughlittleship

    toughlittleship Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

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    Eddington: Attacking two Jem'Hadar soldiers with a pipe? That's a brilliant plan!

    Sisko: It could be worse.

    Eddington: I know. It could be me holding the pipe.
     
  16. cblmc1296

    cblmc1296 Commander Red Shirt

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    O'Brien to Dax regarding Worf: "Next time you see him, just sniff the air and say, 'Is that lilac?' ".
     
  17. Paradon

    Paradon Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Gowron: "Follow him...and you denounce all Klingon laws!"
     
  18. RyanKCR

    RyanKCR Vice Admiral Admiral

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    SPOCK: Your logic was impeccable, Captain. We are in grave danger.
     
  19. toughlittleship

    toughlittleship Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

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    Another Garak one, from "The Way of the Warrior".

    Garak: I find all this hand-to-hand combat really quite distasteful!

    Dukat: I suppose you prefer the simplicities of an interrogation chamber.

    Garak: You have to admit, it's much more civilized!
     
  20. cblmc1296

    cblmc1296 Commander Red Shirt

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    Scotty to Spock: "I know what time it is. I don't need a bloomin' cuckoo clock!"