Witty, to be intelligent and clever in perception and expression. I'll start. ------------------------------- Spock, from Tomorrow is Yesterday ... The aircraft has completely broken up, Captain ... shall we turn off the tractor beam?
Also from Tomorrow is Yesterday: I'm going to lock you up for two hundred years. That ought to be just about right.
This is from The Trouble With Tirbbles- Montgomery Scott:When are y'gonna get off that milk diet, lad? Pavel Chekov:This is vodka! Montgomery Scott: Where I come from, that's soda pop. Now, this is drin for a man. Pavel Chekov: Scotch? Montgomery Scott: Aye. Pavel Chekov: It was invented by a little old lady from Leningrad!
This one's a classic--from "Extreme Measures" (DS9): O'Brien: Should've left a note for Keiko...let her know what we were doin'.... Bashir: Ah, why worry her? O'Brien: No! I wan-wan-want--her and the kids to understand...why I had to do this.... Bashir: Oh, she'll understand--she'll know. You...you did it for me. O'Brien: Huh! That's what'll upset her the most! She always said that I...liked you more than I like her. Bashir: HA! Tha--tha--tha--that's ridiculous! O'Brien: Right. Bashir: Well, maybe--maybe you do. A...a bit more.... O'Brien: What? Are you crazy--she's my wife! I love 'er! Bashir: Of COURSE you love her! O'Brien: Yeah. Bashir: She's your WIFE! O'Brien: Yeah! Bashir: I'm just saying: maybe you...like me a bit more, that's all.... O'Brien: I do not. (long pause) Bashir: You spend more time with me. O'Brien: We work together! Bashir: We have more in common. O'Brien: (tired) Julian...you are beginning to annoy me.... Bashir: Darts? Racquetball? Vic's Lounge? The Alamo? Need I go on--? O'Brien: I loooooooooooove...my wife. Bashir: (dreamily) And I love Ezri. Passionately. O'Brien: You do? Bashir: Yes.... O'Brien: Have you told her? Bashir: No, not yet. But I will. O'Brien: Oh, yeah? Heh! When? Bashir: When I'm ready! (Pause) It's just that I...like you...a bit more! See? There--I've admitted it. O'Brien: (Nods in final understanding) Yeah. Well... (long pause) O'Brien: I love my wife.
Kirk's flim-flamming the Iotians with Arcturian Fizz-bin and asks Spock the odds of getting some crazy score or other. Spock: I've never computed them, Captain Kirk: Well, they're astronomical, believe me.
"Spock, you haven't changed a bit. You're still as warm and sociable as ever." That one from Dr. McCoy in TMP is just perfect for that moment.
EMH to Seven: Between impulse and action there is a realm of good taste begging for your acquaintance.
EMH1 Stop breathing down my neck! EMH2 My breathing is a simulation. EMH1 So is my neck, stop doing it anyway!
Eddington: Attacking two Jem'Hadar soldiers with a pipe? That's a brilliant plan! Sisko: It could be worse. Eddington: I know. It could be me holding the pipe.
O'Brien to Dax regarding Worf: "Next time you see him, just sniff the air and say, 'Is that lilac?' ".
Another Garak one, from "The Way of the Warrior". Garak: I find all this hand-to-hand combat really quite distasteful! Dukat: I suppose you prefer the simplicities of an interrogation chamber. Garak: You have to admit, it's much more civilized!