It's true, there is a conspiracy since birth. You WILL die and go back to the earth and feed another generation you don't care about.
Quicker than that if you have cats. Leave a window open or your pets will eat your face after you die in front of the TV. Of course if you have enough cats, you'll save your family the cost of a funeral. I can't think of another example of anyone ever being so thoughtful before.
I don't own any pets. I always wanted to die an old old lady warm in my bed after a life filled with babies... Oh wait that's from Titanic. Screw that! I'm not having babies.
My cats are old and cannot be bothered eating, or even finishing the killing of the one or two mice they put in the colossal effort of catching a year. They would not eat me. They don't even like eating a chicken carcass if you don't remove the meat from the bones for them.
The urban legend, which I've seen played out on TV more than once is that cat or cats are locked inside a small apartment with a dead body, and then eat the body over the course of a month because they can't get out and there's no other food. The moral of this story is that people over 50 shouldn't have automatic credit payments set up with the bank to pay all their bills.
Yeah. I am sure if I was actually decomposing and they were locked in they would eat me. However there are multiple ways they could get out of the house and they are already criminals when it comes to eating elsewhere so I think I would be decomposing in peace. What happens to those cats anyway? Do they get put down? Because ewww gross, would you adopt a cat from a shelter if you knew it had eaten its previous owner?
All dogs who bit humans are put down. There's less registration/book keeping with cats, but I can't see Hello Kitty being given a second chance.