TOS Caption Contest #283: Caption, Caption

Hello everyone, we begin a new contest!




First up to the plate, we have the "High Fashion" Award, going to:

Next, we have the "Sounds good right now, but just you wait..." Award, going to:

Next, we have the "Ponn Awesome" Award, going to:

Next, we have the "For the world is hollow and I have walked into the sky" Award, going to:

Next, we have the "Always watching..." Award, going to:

The Photoshop Award, goes to:

Congratulations to our winners and many thanks to everyone who participated!











Enjoy!

 

Kirk: So, you're all saying it's a bad thing that we're in this universe?



Spock: You will remain in this cell until you delete all Reality Television shows from your DVRs.



Kirk: Mister Spock, why is Chekov our cage dancer this evening?



Kirk: So this controls the tantalus field?

Moreau: No, this is a live feed from the ships library. You've been concerned about overdue books.



Spock: Fine, you can have McCoy back, now get out of my universe!

 

TFTW, LeadHead!



Kirk: "We've been checking out the ship. My counterpart has a lot of...dirty things in his quarters."
Uhura: "Mine, too."




Spock: "While you are in the brig, I am taking over as commander of the Enterprise."
Kirk: "Nu-uh!"




Pavel Chekov winds up a rousing rendition of "My Way" during Crew Talent Night.




Kirk: "My counterpart showed you this?! Geez, that's even dumber than giving your girlfriend your email account password!"




Mirror Spock: "I ask only one favor before you return to your own universe. Let your Dr. McCoy show our Dr. McCoy how to perform a non-invasive virtual colonoscopy."




Kirk: "I'm sure I'll be too busy rolling around in the sack with you to worry about spying on my crew... Wait! Can you get ESPN on this thing?"

 

MIRROR KIRK: I refuse to live in an universe where I can't wear a sparkly shirt!



KIRK: I've seen this one. What else is on?



KIRK: Apparently in this Universe, Bones you run a preschool.



CREWMAN BALDING: Any idea how long this is gonna take? I got theater tickets

 

Thanks for that!



KIRK: Okay, fine, so mixing gunpowder won't solve the problem this time. Suggestions?




MIRROR KIRK: These velour shirts shrink with every washing! And you call us barbarians?


'

MIRROR CHEKOV: ♫ Fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiigaaaaaroooooo! ♫




KIRK: Oooh. Chat Roulette awkwardness! Cancel, cancel!




MIRROR SPOCK: The logical deduction is this is the Unreal McCoy.

 

Kirk: "Is there... any way to stop this material from... chafing my nipples?"
Uhura: "You're not wearing a bra?"
Kirk: "No I'm not wearing a bra..."



Kirk: "How am I supposed to show my manly stoicism when this fluffy velour keeps caressing my nipples? It's inhumane I tell you. At least give me a bra!"



Spock os: "You will tell us what we want to know... or the soundproof cage will be removed from the Russian X Factor reject."



Kirk: "Don't touch the fast forward, or we might get trapped in a Spaceballs paradox."



Spock: "I have ruined him for other men, Captain."

 

KIRK: Fingerpainting Spock. One of Earth's great pastimes.



MIRROR KIRK: Spock! Let me out of here so I can execute you!



BALD GUY: There has to be a more interesting name for this than the 'Pain box'.
OTHER BLUESHIRT: I can't think of any.
MIRROR CHEKOV: AHHGGHHH EXCRUCIATION CHAMBER!
BALD GUY: Did you hear something?



KIRK: A device that can kill someone from anywhere on the ship. How does it work?
WOMAN: Umm, it's called the transporter. I don't know why nobody else ever uses it that way, seems way better than phasers.

 

MIRROR SPOCK: Arrest yourself!
MCCOY: Of course, I'm not Kim Cattrall, so nobody will ask me where the green-blooded wizard mind-melded me.


KIRK: Please Bones, be more concerned!
BONES: It's easy for you, you don't have simply the same fucking pair of pajamas as usual.


MIRROR-KIRK: What the hell are those pajamas.
MIRROR-BONES: Speak for yourself, it's the same old shit in my case.


In a world where everyone tries to kill everyone, a simple shower needs a whole security team.

 

CHEKOV (os): Nobody will shut down a Wussian inwention!

 

Kirk: "Heh. If only he knew we were watching him. I wonder what he's watching."
Marlena: "Us."

 

Kirk: "Enough's enough's Bones, we're taking your Breaking Bad bluray's away."



Spock: "You will remain behind this barrier until you lose a minimum of five kilos."

Kirk: "I'M NOT FAT !!!"



Chekov: "Yes yes yes yes ... oh God yes ... ahhhhhhh ... please more ..."

Spock (os): "The controls appear incorrectly set."



Spock: "Once they've been worked over by security chief Sulu, a man never the same again."

 

Spock: "I found him rambling around drunk in the crew-women's dorm again."
Drunken McCoy: "It's time for... It's time for their physicals, dammit!"

 

Spock: I have arrested the doctor. The charge is, impersonating Karl Urban.

McCoy: Wait, WHAT?

 

Kirk: Well Doctor? Have you determined yet who spit in the Captain's mustard?
McCoy: I told you it's impossible. The best we can do is tell you it apparently wasn't you.
Kirk: How do you know it wasn't me? Did you DNA test the Poupon?
McCoy: What the fu-
Kirk: DID YOU DNA TEST THE POUPON?!




In accordance with the Articles of the Federation for the treatment of prisoners, we demand snu-snu!




Captain's log, supplemental: thank Mister Spock for the foresight to install a space madness isolation booth on Enterprise. Will recommend them as a standard installation on the next class of starships.

....The victim, however, remains foolishly optimistic about his condition improving due to the sun coming out tomorrow. Poor bastard.




Moreau: You see, Captain - he's eerily silent now but five minutes ago he was trashing the room, sobbing and crying "Nyota." What does it mean?
Kirk: Who knows; I'll get O'Hura to search the database.




Spock: I caught him red-handed stealing my ear pointifier.
Kirk: An ear pointifier, Bones? Have you no pride?
Spock: Indeed - hey!

 

"Yes, I pirate the signal, Captain. And we have no 'Brady Rule' in this universe."

"Sweet."


.

 

JASMINE:...and this is Jafar.
ALADIN: But who are Abu and Iago?

 

Kirk: "A meth lab, you say?"

McCoy: "Yes, Jim. And I've found evidence that my counterpart has been making ecstasy, LSD, rohypnol, cocaine, and some other shit I can't even begin to identify."


.

 

Alright, whos been playing with the SpiroMatic ?

 

Kirk............."Why am I lumbered with the away kit ?"