Don't resist taking the good advice in this thread, Cakes. If he bothered you twice, I might say he's a pest. However, you've detailed more incidents than that, and he sounds like a disturbing individual to be around. Go for the restraining order, and take steps to defend yourself and your home. Even if the season is almost over, what's to stop him from keeping this up the next season that you're both there?
Another thing to think about: What about the next woman? That there would be one of the biggest reasons to go and at least talk to the cops. Cause what's the stop him from moving on to another target and next time getting more aggressive. Or for that matter, whose to say there isn't a history there already. At least if she talks to the law, the cops will know that this guy exists and if he does do something to another woman, they'll know he's got a history of it in at least one case.
See Joe's being a lot...lot more nicer than I can be or will be....I just can't be that nice at this point, it's not in my nature . I swear if he does it again after I speak with him I'm taking it to the next level and I'll have no qualms about it. I'll tell the whole block (I'll go door to door and I'm not kidding), his wife, the cops...I'm even going to rent billboard space . I don't mean I'm going to bug him as in harass him back...I just meant that if he wants to screw with me I'll screw him right back (lol) I didn't mean I'll exact personal revenge on him or anything. And LOL I know A LOT OF BIG BLACK GUYS...just wait till I post pics from that wedding I went to...you'll see I got the folks behind me. Kestra I'm sorry I'm not jumping at the advise...but this isn't the advise I expected...at all! Please don't think I'm poo-poo-ing it. And ya'll need to trust me too a little bit, I'm no fool and I'm not going to put myself in any danger. I'm a good judge of the situation etc..my sister/brother and friends wouldn't steer me wrong, if they thought it warranted it they'd be up my ass to get a R. Order.... I think it's sounding worse than it is...I really do, but like I said one more talking to (ass ripping) and it's a wrap...this guy has no idea who he is fucking with because I'm always so nicey nicey. Great, so I can shelve that fake nice bitch that he thinks I am and it's time to bring out the real me. LOL Don't tease! You know that's my favorite topic....ever. Be honest...you're just trying to cheer me up aren't you!
I don't know about everyone else, but I am telling you what to do based on past professional experience. The things everyone is telling you are the basic minor things to do in a situation like this. I have seen things like this go bad way to many times to just let them pass. But I can tell you are going to do what you want so I just will pray for your safety. Ok how can you like Myspace more than Facebook? That belief confuses me.
Why ask for advice when you have no intention of doing anything but what you've already decided to do? Is this thread just for attention? Seriously, if things are as bad as you've described them then you need to alert the authorities.
I just want to say thank you to everybody. Seriously. I feel even more empowered now with all this typing and talking about it. It is/was therapeutic. I'm (almost) looking forward to this little talk that I will be engaging in. I'm on the Facebook too but I don't like how if you become friends with someone ...say someone that you're not even close to that they can see all your other convo's etc...with people. I don't like that. Myspace sucks too, I filled that profile out years ago I rarely check in there and why would I need to anyway when I have TrekBBS now ? I just wish we all lived a little closer.
I don't need to make a thread for attention...besides every thread I've made has been a failure. But isn't that's the point of advise...to ask it and then it's up to you to decide what to do......right? This is what I asked advise on: I wanted to know the men (and yeah the women too) opinions on what they thought if I told this Dennis loser that I'm not sure what part of "we're not going to be friends or hang out in any capacity are you not understanding. Do I need to tell Jean (his wife) explain this to you"? I wanted to know if you guys thought that would squash this shit, I thought it would and I was expecting mass agreement but instead............ So that's what I was asking about.
...you have lots of people who are truly concerned about you. From your descriptions, we are seeing serious warnings that this guy is up to no good. He could be a harmless idiot whose mama never taught him that no means no. But he could be something more harmful. And we want you to be safe.
Cakes I didnt read the whole thread, (I couldnt it was making me so paranoid!) but what your going through is one of, no I think it IS my biggest fear/nightmare ever! I think Id rather be told I have a terminal illness than have to deal with a creepy psycho stalker like this guy obviously is! Please take the advise given on this thread seriously & tell the police NOW! Hell if I were you Id already be making plans to move! I know about the whole wanting to be nice & not escalate things, b/c Im exactly like that, but this asshole has sooo crossed the line! Please be careful! btw, and bear in mind Im not trying to be racist, is the guy hispanic? b/c I happen to be hispanic(& I live in Miami) so I see this a lot & have to put up with it: a lot of hispanic guys they tend to be the grabby aggressive types around women and its sadly a cultural thing(which I absolutly hate and still think is wrong, but they might not see it that way) Im not saying thats the situation here, in fact I doubt it is, but I was just curious.
Seriously, #1 Remove the weed from your presence..police do have an issue with folks with illegal drugs when out on a call.. #2 Inform the police that you are having a problem with "Dennis" here #3 Have that talk you mentioned with Dennis If he will not cease his infatuation.. #4 get something to defend yourself..pepper spray/taser are good choices #5 inform his wife of the ENTIRE situtation #6 start the ball rolling on that restraining order
Doesnt mean its not the right advice either. Look if you only wanted some one to parrot what you wanted to hear then why start the thread where many people have replied, giving advice, based on their life's and personal experience and expertise? To ignore that advice does indeed imperil your life. That is not an exaggeration.
I swear I'm taking this all in and I'm listening...I may not apply it tomorrow...but I'm listening. I'm not sure what the hell he is actually. He sounds Jamaican but looks Indian. I think he's from Guyana...I'm not sure though. I've had nothing but good experiences with the Spanish men...real good LOL! Yes I would remove the weed...as much as it would pain me to do so. I like this list. So what are you (and everybody else) mad at me because I won't go get a restraining order or I won't follow everybodys advise to a T? It's not that I didn't want to hear about the restraining order, or I want you to parrot what I want to hear but the fact is I didn't even expect to hear it! Seriously. I'm not ignoring the advise...please don't think that, but sometimes we do have to do things in our own way. I'm not a dummy and I think I'm reading the situation correctly -- I just wanted to know if y'all thought it was a good idea to threaten to tell the wife....and then all this restraining order stuff happened. Please I need some gentleness right now...I'm spending the last few minutes at my job that I've been at for over 8 years...just said goodbye to everybody...I mean even the UPS guy was tearing up. I'm teary myself right now at my desk and I can't even wear sunglasses home because of all this damn rain. I need a blunt and now.
It's not that a restraining order is required, but you do need to report it to the police. If for nothing else to show pattern of his behavior in the event he does try to harm you.
Here is the situation as I see it: Most of those who have posted in this thread feel that this situation is more threatening than Cakes does. This doesn't mean Cakes is wrong, though - we all need to remember that. She's not a fool and she's met the guy whereas we haven't, and that gives her an enormous advantage. On the other hand, that doesn't mean she's right, either. Some of the people who have contributed to this thread are speaking from direct experience. That's both an advantage and a disadvantage, though. It's an advantage because they might very well pick up clues that the rest of us miss. But it's a disadvantage because they also might project their own experience into what Cakes has experienced. And of course several of us have thought of possible actions that Cakes didn't think of - including some fairly simple things she could easily do herself (such as getting the pepper spray or whatever, making the house as secure as possible, etc.). The disadvantage is that some of the things that have been suggested, Cakes either doesn't feel right about doing or doesn't feel are warranted at this time. But after all those pluses and minuses...well, it's Cakes who's going to have to take whatever action is taken. We don't really want her to drop all her instincts and her experience and do whatever we say, do we? Well, OK, maybe we kind of do...but kind of don't, too. I mean, that wouldn't be right. And it wouldn't be Cakes, either. So...just be careful, OK? For the sake of our peace of mind, maybe you could be a little more cautious than perhaps you are inclined to be? I for one would really appreciate it!
I was the first one to mention a restraining order. I did so out of concern for his possible violent reaction to being "tattled on." (Not that he'd obey it if he's that psycho, but it'd really help legally later on) If you tell him to back the fuck off and he actually does I don't think it'll be necessary either.
A guy looking twice at a woman is not committing a crime. it was the barging into her house uninvited bit that got to me. You don't do that to someone you respect and it seems he has no respect for her as as person with rights. Not good. The guy sounds creepy. Stay safe!