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Go Back   The Trek BBS > Star Trek TV Series > Deep Space Nine

Deep Space Nine What We Left Behind, we will always have here.

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Old May 25 2014, 04:06 AM   #1
Smellincoffee
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DS9 Caption Contest 94: QUAAAAAARRRRK!

Few would confess to like the Ferengi in general, but Quark frequently rose above the venal stereotypes of the lobed wonders. Certainly no civilian has ever had a more prominent spot in a Star Trek production! Before you all have your fun with him, here's last weeks winners!



JirinPanthosa wrote:


GARAK: She's the only other Cardassian on the station. But she's a teenager. Must think of way to do this without it being creepy...must think...GGHH!
ZIYAL: Garak, are you having a stroke?
Schistocerca wrote: View Post

Despite having the best song they failed to win the Barber Shop Quartet competition because there were only three of them!
LeadHead wrote: View Post

Garak: I find this hand to hand combat really quite distasteful!
Dukat: Yeah, me too. Little help?

FlyingSaucrDude wrote: View Post

Garak (after Dax inadvertently stumbles in on him in the holosuite): I assure you, Commander, this is not what it looks like.
Dax: It looks like you alone with a tied up hologram of Julian missing his pants.
Garak: In that case I suppose it is what it looks like.

Mr. Laser Beam wrote: View Post


Kira: No wait, I get it. They traced the call, and it's coming from INSIDE the house?

Nerys Myk wrote: View Post

GARAK: It got weird, didn't it?
ZIYAL: Yes.
GARAK: Yeah. Right. I knew it.











As usual, this will run for two weeks or so. Have fun!
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DS9 CapCon #99: Major Pain for Quark
"The more they overthink the plumbing, the easier it is to stop up the drain.." - Commander Montgomery Scott.
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Old May 25 2014, 04:31 AM   #2
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Re: DS9 Caption Contest 94: QUAAAAAARRRRK!



QUARK: Were did you get these?

GRILKA: The Liberace Collection. A man with a warriors' taste, to be sure
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Old May 25 2014, 05:29 AM   #3
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Re: DS9 Caption Contest 94: QUAAAAAARRRRK!


Worf: ``I will have a large, cold glass of 'punching you in the face'. … Thank you.''
Quark: ``Let me give you folks a few more minutes to peruse the menu.''


``The guns are fine, but what I really like about this place is how the decor evokes early-80s game show.''
``Hey, you're right! Has anybody got a holographic Bill Cullen?''


``You didn't tell me you'd be wearing Denobulan Yeti too!''


``Ooh, ooh … uh … is this going to be on the bill?''
``Everything's going to be on the bill, you … argh.''


``It's from the same sire as Shatner's last two hairpieces.''
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Old May 25 2014, 07:06 AM   #4
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Re: DS9 Caption Contest 94: QUAAAAAARRRRK!


#1
Quark: I'm not sure of the correct pronunciation, but I believe it's called 'menage a trois'?

or

#2
Quark: Do you know about shrinkage?
Dax: It shrinks?
Quark: Like a frightened turtle.
Dax: Why does it shrink?
Worf: It just does...
Dax: I don't know how you guys walk around with those things.

or

#3
Quark: I swear, Mr. Worf, I thought I was walking in on Jadzia on the shower, not you! Next time, I'll keep my eyes open and only grab when I know what I'm grabbing.


Quark: Someone's overcompensating.


While visiting her best friend's apartment, the Klingon women summed up her date with Quark: "He took it out."


"Can I get an amen, brotha!"

Last edited by CaptainJon; May 25 2014 at 07:40 AM.
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Old May 26 2014, 01:17 AM   #5
Bad Thoughts
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Re: DS9 Caption Contest 94: QUAAAAAARRRRK!

Correction required:

CaptainJon wrote: View Post

#1
Quark: I'm not sure of the correct pronunciation, but I believe it's called 'menage a trois'?
Quark: I'm not sure of the correct pronunciation, but I believe it's called "menage a Troi."
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Old May 26 2014, 01:46 AM   #6
Armored Saint
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Re: DS9 Caption Contest 94: QUAAAAAARRRRK!


GRILKA: I wonder if our incoming child will have your ears.
QUARK: Wait, what?
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Old May 26 2014, 01:53 AM   #7
JirinPanthosa
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Re: DS9 Caption Contest 94: QUAAAAAARRRRK!



QUARK: You're doing great Worf. In my experience, women love it when you never talk to them and tell them everything important to them is frivolous and stupid.



QUARK: I'm going to take a wild guess at your favorite holoprograms. Goodfellas and The Third Man.
GALA: QUARK! The last guy to accuse him of plagiarism ended up floating out the airlock!



GRILKA: I wonder what our kids would look like.
QUARK: Eww. Permanent mental image.



BRUNT: Simon says aim the blaster. Raise your hand in the air. Quark, you're out.



QUARK: I just came up with a brilliant idea for next time a human asks for hot dogs.
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Old May 27 2014, 01:49 PM   #8
Schistocerca
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Re: DS9 Caption Contest 94: QUAAAAAARRRRK!

Thanks for the win

QUARK: Worf, I know you are madly in love and have only eyes for her....but will you please get your chair off my foot.....


QUARK: Oh.... THAT army!!!


Quark loved his monthly visit to the Sony and Cher fan club


Quark: Mr Odo may I be excused? my brain is full



Quark still couldn't work out how Worf had managed to get the woolly hat off his head but still leave the pom-pom behind
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Old May 28 2014, 06:11 AM   #9
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Re: DS9 Caption Contest 94: QUAAAAAARRRRK!

Thanks for the win!



Dax: (thinking) Our security measures stink. How the hell did Quark get aboard the Defiant?!



Hagoth: Are the safeties on?

Quark: The weapon or the holosuite's?

Gaila: This is going to get very confusing very fast.



Quark: Where am I? What am I doing here? Why does that Klingon have a shotgun?!
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Old May 31 2014, 07:49 PM   #10
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Re: DS9 Caption Contest 94: QUAAAAAARRRRK!


Quark: Gaila, when you said you were targeting a few competitors, I didn't know this was what you meant.


Quark: Wait, marriage? I thought I signed a real estate contract!
Grilka: High Klingon is a very difficult langauge, is it not?


Quark: Worf, I have it on good authority the lieutenant likes transparent skulls. Maybe you can work on that.
Worf: Perhaps I will work on yours.
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DS9 CapCon #99: Major Pain for Quark
"The more they overthink the plumbing, the easier it is to stop up the drain.." - Commander Montgomery Scott.
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Old June 1 2014, 10:42 PM   #11
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Re: DS9 Caption Contest 94: QUAAAAAARRRRK!



Quark: "So how did you break your right arm, and dislocated your left elbow?

Worf: "Yes Jadzia ... how DID I do that?

Dax: ".......

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Old June 2 2014, 09:17 AM   #12
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Re: DS9 Caption Contest 94: QUAAAAAARRRRK!



Worf: Do not waste your time, Quark. Jadzia would never leave me for some lousy bartender.
Quark: Oh yeah? Then why do the Prophets say she dumps you for Sam Malone?
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Old June 6 2014, 04:37 AM   #13
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Re: DS9 Caption Contest 94: QUAAAAAARRRRK!



Quark: ... And then the Andorian says-

Worf: That the Klingon is sick of this joke and the Trill won't be able to save you in time.
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Old June 6 2014, 09:18 PM   #14
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Re: DS9 Caption Contest 94: QUAAAAAARRRRK!



QUARK: She said, going "Dutch" is without honor. So fork over the cash!
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Old June 7 2014, 12:34 AM   #15
Smellincoffee
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Re: DS9 Caption Contest 94: QUAAAAAARRRRK!

24 hour (ish) warning!
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DS9 CapCon #99: Major Pain for Quark
"The more they overthink the plumbing, the easier it is to stop up the drain.." - Commander Montgomery Scott.
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