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Go Back   The Trek BBS > Star Trek TV Series > Deep Space Nine

Deep Space Nine What We Left Behind, we will always have here.

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Old May 25 2014, 04:06 AM   #1
Smellincoffee
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DS9 Caption Contest 94: QUAAAAAARRRRK!

Few would confess to like the Ferengi in general, but Quark frequently rose above the venal stereotypes of the lobed wonders. Certainly no civilian has ever had a more prominent spot in a Star Trek production! Before you all have your fun with him, here's last weeks winners!



JirinPanthosa wrote:


GARAK: She's the only other Cardassian on the station. But she's a teenager. Must think of way to do this without it being creepy...must think...GGHH!
ZIYAL: Garak, are you having a stroke?
Schistocerca wrote: View Post

Despite having the best song they failed to win the Barber Shop Quartet competition because there were only three of them!
LeadHead wrote: View Post

Garak: I find this hand to hand combat really quite distasteful!
Dukat: Yeah, me too. Little help?

FlyingSaucrDude wrote: View Post

Garak (after Dax inadvertently stumbles in on him in the holosuite): I assure you, Commander, this is not what it looks like.
Dax: It looks like you alone with a tied up hologram of Julian missing his pants.
Garak: In that case I suppose it is what it looks like.

Mr. Laser Beam wrote: View Post


Kira: No wait, I get it. They traced the call, and it's coming from INSIDE the house?

Nerys Myk wrote: View Post

GARAK: It got weird, didn't it?
ZIYAL: Yes.
GARAK: Yeah. Right. I knew it.











As usual, this will run for two weeks or so. Have fun!
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DS9 CapCon #98: Hell to the Chief!
"The more they overthink the plumbing, the easier it is to stop up the drain.." - Commander Montgomery Scott.
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Old May 25 2014, 04:31 AM   #2
Nerys Myk
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Re: DS9 Caption Contest 94: QUAAAAAARRRRK!



QUARK: Were did you get these?

GRILKA: The Liberace Collection. A man with a warriors' taste, to be sure
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The boring one, the one with Khan, the one where Spock returns, the one with whales, the dumb one, the last one, the one with Kirk, the one with the Borg, the stupid one, the bad one, the new one, the other one with Khan.
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Old May 25 2014, 05:29 AM   #3
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Re: DS9 Caption Contest 94: QUAAAAAARRRRK!


Worf: ``I will have a large, cold glass of 'punching you in the face'. … Thank you.''
Quark: ``Let me give you folks a few more minutes to peruse the menu.''


``The guns are fine, but what I really like about this place is how the decor evokes early-80s game show.''
``Hey, you're right! Has anybody got a holographic Bill Cullen?''


``You didn't tell me you'd be wearing Denobulan Yeti too!''


``Ooh, ooh … uh … is this going to be on the bill?''
``Everything's going to be on the bill, you … argh.''


``It's from the same sire as Shatner's last two hairpieces.''
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Old May 25 2014, 07:06 AM   #4
CaptainJon
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Re: DS9 Caption Contest 94: QUAAAAAARRRRK!


#1
Quark: I'm not sure of the correct pronunciation, but I believe it's called 'menage a trois'?

or

#2
Quark: Do you know about shrinkage?
Dax: It shrinks?
Quark: Like a frightened turtle.
Dax: Why does it shrink?
Worf: It just does...
Dax: I don't know how you guys walk around with those things.

or

#3
Quark: I swear, Mr. Worf, I thought I was walking in on Jadzia on the shower, not you! Next time, I'll keep my eyes open and only grab when I know what I'm grabbing.


Quark: Someone's overcompensating.


While visiting her best friend's apartment, the Klingon women summed up her date with Quark: "He took it out."


"Can I get an amen, brotha!"

Last edited by CaptainJon; May 25 2014 at 07:40 AM.
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Old May 26 2014, 01:17 AM   #5
Bad Thoughts
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Re: DS9 Caption Contest 94: QUAAAAAARRRRK!

Correction required:

CaptainJon wrote: View Post

#1
Quark: I'm not sure of the correct pronunciation, but I believe it's called 'menage a trois'?
Quark: I'm not sure of the correct pronunciation, but I believe it's called "menage a Troi."
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Old May 26 2014, 01:46 AM   #6
Armored Saint
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Re: DS9 Caption Contest 94: QUAAAAAARRRRK!


GRILKA: I wonder if our incoming child will have your ears.
QUARK: Wait, what?
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Old May 26 2014, 01:53 AM   #7
JirinPanthosa
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Re: DS9 Caption Contest 94: QUAAAAAARRRRK!



QUARK: You're doing great Worf. In my experience, women love it when you never talk to them and tell them everything important to them is frivolous and stupid.



QUARK: I'm going to take a wild guess at your favorite holoprograms. Goodfellas and The Third Man.
GALA: QUARK! The last guy to accuse him of plagiarism ended up floating out the airlock!



GRILKA: I wonder what our kids would look like.
QUARK: Eww. Permanent mental image.



BRUNT: Simon says aim the blaster. Raise your hand in the air. Quark, you're out.



QUARK: I just came up with a brilliant idea for next time a human asks for hot dogs.
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Old May 27 2014, 01:49 PM   #8
Schistocerca
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Re: DS9 Caption Contest 94: QUAAAAAARRRRK!

Thanks for the win

QUARK: Worf, I know you are madly in love and have only eyes for her....but will you please get your chair off my foot.....


QUARK: Oh.... THAT army!!!


Quark loved his monthly visit to the Sony and Cher fan club


Quark: Mr Odo may I be excused? my brain is full



Quark still couldn't work out how Worf had managed to get the woolly hat off his head but still leave the pom-pom behind
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Old May 28 2014, 06:11 AM   #9
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Re: DS9 Caption Contest 94: QUAAAAAARRRRK!

Thanks for the win!



Dax: (thinking) Our security measures stink. How the hell did Quark get aboard the Defiant?!



Hagoth: Are the safeties on?

Quark: The weapon or the holosuite's?

Gaila: This is going to get very confusing very fast.



Quark: Where am I? What am I doing here? Why does that Klingon have a shotgun?!
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Old May 31 2014, 07:49 PM   #10
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Re: DS9 Caption Contest 94: QUAAAAAARRRRK!


Quark: Gaila, when you said you were targeting a few competitors, I didn't know this was what you meant.


Quark: Wait, marriage? I thought I signed a real estate contract!
Grilka: High Klingon is a very difficult langauge, is it not?


Quark: Worf, I have it on good authority the lieutenant likes transparent skulls. Maybe you can work on that.
Worf: Perhaps I will work on yours.
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"The more they overthink the plumbing, the easier it is to stop up the drain.." - Commander Montgomery Scott.
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Old June 1 2014, 10:42 PM   #11
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Re: DS9 Caption Contest 94: QUAAAAAARRRRK!



Quark: "So how did you break your right arm, and dislocated your left elbow?

Worf: "Yes Jadzia ... how DID I do that?

Dax: ".......

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Old June 2 2014, 09:17 AM   #12
Triskelion
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Re: DS9 Caption Contest 94: QUAAAAAARRRRK!



Worf: Do not waste your time, Quark. Jadzia would never leave me for some lousy bartender.
Quark: Oh yeah? Then why do the Prophets say she dumps you for Sam Malone?
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Old June 6 2014, 04:37 AM   #13
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Re: DS9 Caption Contest 94: QUAAAAAARRRRK!



Quark: ... And then the Andorian says-

Worf: That the Klingon is sick of this joke and the Trill won't be able to save you in time.
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Old June 6 2014, 09:18 PM   #14
Nerys Myk
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Re: DS9 Caption Contest 94: QUAAAAAARRRRK!



QUARK: She said, going "Dutch" is without honor. So fork over the cash!
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The boring one, the one with Khan, the one where Spock returns, the one with whales, the dumb one, the last one, the one with Kirk, the one with the Borg, the stupid one, the bad one, the new one, the other one with Khan.
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Old June 7 2014, 12:34 AM   #15
Smellincoffee
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Re: DS9 Caption Contest 94: QUAAAAAARRRRK!

24 hour (ish) warning!
__________________
DS9 CapCon #98: Hell to the Chief!
"The more they overthink the plumbing, the easier it is to stop up the drain.." - Commander Montgomery Scott.
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