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Go Back   The Trek BBS > Star Trek TV Series > The Next Generation

The Next Generation All Good Things come to an end...but not here.

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Old January 26 2014, 07:19 AM   #16
Nebusj
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Re: TNG Caption This! 343: Proper Procedures


Data: ``Certainly ghosts and imaginary beings may join the poker game. Why would you need … to … ask?''



Troi: ``And welcome back, it's 0815, looking to be the start of a fine alpha shift. The Potentate of New Hoboken has issued a statement thanking the Enterprise for racing to deliver that vaccine to her plague-stricken colony. According to the Medical Division, ambu-jitsu injuries are down eight percent in the past there months. And this half-hour we'll have a special report on how to cope when you learn a co-worker has a holodeck version of you on file, and later we'll make a chocolate plomeek recipe that's been sweeping Vulcan fusion restaurants all across the Beta quadrant. All that and more coming up, but first, the space weather. Geordi?''



Picard: ``The heck did we even get a Pink Alert?''



Data: ``According to our transporter coordinates this is Times Square.''
Riker: ``Curse you, Apple Maps!''



LaForge: ``OK, set the motors up to full, unhook the restraining bolts, set the timers to fifteen seconds and let's get out of the way before these babies go racing!''
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Old January 26 2014, 07:33 AM   #17
LOLPeanutButter
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Re: TNG Caption This! 343: Proper Procedures



WORF: What is so funny?
TROI: Just imagining the saucer getting knocked out of orbit and skidding across a planet's surface. Wouldn't that be a neat ride?"
WORF: No.





Data: "Sensors indicate... it's a fake."
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Old January 26 2014, 12:06 PM   #18
inflatabledalek
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Re: TNG Caption This! 343: Proper Procedures




Worf: Damn, I lost my sash again.



Worf: What's so funny?

Troi: Geordi's joke about the Ferengi in the gorilla suit... I just got it!

Worf: Wait... what? That was three years ago!

Troi: At least I got it before Data.





Picard: So this is how Geordi sees the world?

Worf: Yes.

Picard: Explains a lot.




Data: We seem to have beamed down to a throwback to the original series planet sets.


Only not as good.




Geordi: I refuse to sit until we get less silly chairs.
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Old January 26 2014, 04:26 PM   #19
The Laughing Vulcan
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Re: TNG Caption This! 343: Proper Procedures



door chimes
Troi: "Don't answer it."
Riker: "Why not?"
Troi: "It's the Captain, he's in one of his 'carouse with the junior officers' moods."
Data: "How...?"
Troi: "Hello... Empath!"
Worf mumbling: "Why can't you be that useful on the bridge?"



Troi: "I sense the Captain and Beverly going at it like rabbits in the ready room."
Worf: "See, now that's useful." activates security camera in the ready room.



Tactical Officer: "The Californalians are firing phasers at us!"
Picard: "What the..."
Worf: "Nothing to worry about sir, they are set to tan."



Data: "Green skies, rocks and sand. For omniscient and omnipotent beings, the Q seem to lack in imagination."



Geordi: "It's night shift."
Data: "Indeed it is."
Geordi: "Nobody else up here but us two."
Data: "One wonders how we will combat the endless ennui and tedium until 0600."
Geordi: "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"
Data: "Chopsticks on the helm consoles subroutine activated."
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Old January 26 2014, 04:31 PM   #20
George Steinbrenner
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Re: TNG Caption This! 343: Proper Procedures



Data: Atomic batteries to power. Turbines to speed.

Geordi: Roger. Ready to move out.
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Old January 26 2014, 04:31 PM   #21
Insp.LeStrange
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Re: TNG Caption This! 343: Proper Procedures



Guinan<outside>: I know you're in there Data! I run the blammin' hat racket on this ship!




Worf: All systems nominal, your highness.
Troi: I should have empathically hacked the self-destruct code years ago.




Worf: Hydrogen is the gayest of all the inert gases.




Data: The Starbucks is this way, sir.




Geordi: The Captain isn't here. Let's sit down.
Data: You heard him, Geordi. "All systems stand by."
Geordi: It's only a technicality that you outrank me.
Data: The order was to stand by, not to stand by running your aye aye hole.
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Old January 26 2014, 05:04 PM   #22
Armored Saint
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Re: TNG Caption This! 343: Proper Procedures


YAR: That's no moon!
WORF: THE BOY'S ANT FARM!
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Old January 26 2014, 06:21 PM   #23
George Steinbrenner
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Re: TNG Caption This! 343: Proper Procedures



The crew's vision of Hell: an eternity of Justin Bieber.
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Old January 26 2014, 06:30 PM   #24
Insp.LeStrange
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Re: TNG Caption This! 343: Proper Procedures



Riker: Are you picking up anything that way, Data?
Data: Just more craters, sir.
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Old January 27 2014, 04:55 AM   #25
Geoff Peterson
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Re: TNG Caption This! 343: Proper Procedures



RIKER: I knew we should have taken that left turn at Allbuquerque.
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Old January 27 2014, 05:00 AM   #26
Geoff Peterson
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Re: TNG Caption This! 343: Proper Procedures



WESLEY: I don't see any extra chips out here. Weird, the doors are stuck. Maybe you guys could try from your side...guys? Guys?
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Old January 27 2014, 05:23 AM   #27
Armored Saint
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Re: TNG Caption This! 343: Proper Procedures


Fleet Admiral's log: The two-months period was fully concluding, the Enteprise is absolutely more efficient when she has only this two dudes as bridge officer: no stating of the obvious, no bullshit about honor, no paternity suit, no Prime Directive fundamentalism, just button pushing and technobabbling. Their idea of replacing philosophical lectures by Poker nights and traditionnal diplomacy by Sherlock Holmes parties on the holodeck provided outstanding results.
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Old January 27 2014, 11:41 AM   #28
Vassa
Commander
 
Re: TNG Caption This! 343: Proper Procedures


Data: Doctor, please remember to flush.
Riker: ..And wait a few minutes before opening the door!!
Troi (Whispering to Worf): You don't think it was my Gagh, do you?
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Old January 28 2014, 12:37 AM   #29
Holdfast
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Re: TNG Caption This! 343: Proper Procedures

TFTW, LH!!





WORF (shouting): Look! Over there!
WORF (thinking): Now to look at their cards. THIS is why I'm a great Tactical Officer!
TROI (thinking): Like an Empath is going to fall for that...





TROI (thinking): The Bridge is mine, all MINE!! Time for a joyride! We're insured, right?





PICARD: Is that... Beverly? Dancing in that window?





RIKER: They'll CGI the blue sky in later.





PICARD (via communication system): Data, La Forge, we're still waiting for you in Transporter Room 3. Just check your damn messages from your phones, OK?
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Old January 28 2014, 02:50 AM   #30
JirinPanthosa
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Re: TNG Caption This! 343: Proper Procedures



RIKER: What was that noise, is it Picard?
DATA: I believe it's just the life support system.
RIKER: We can't let him know we're betting real latinum, he'll give us a sanctimonious lecture.



TROI: All the higher ranking officers are off the bridge. If there's an emergency now, I'm in charge!



Captain Picard discovered how to use Photoshop gradients, and was so excited that he started putting it in all his official reports to Starfleet.



DATA: I've got it. It's a virus that enters through your eyes and disintegrates you from the inside out.
GEORDI: Umm...everyone else is already dead.
DATA: Indeed.
GEORDI: So. Road trip to Risa?
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