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Go Back   The Trek BBS > Star Trek TV Series > The Next Generation

The Next Generation All Good Things come to an end...but not here.

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Old January 26 2014, 02:36 AM   #1
LeadHead
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TNG Caption This! 343: Proper Procedures

Hello everyone! I'm on time! Try not to be too shocked!




First up to the plate, we have the "Conspiracy" Award, going to:

Holdfast wrote: View Post


PICARD: OK, so it's agreed. We blame it all on La Forge.
Next, we have the "Nothing to worry about" Award, going to:

Mistral wrote: View Post


Crusher: "This is amazing, Captain! I've detected large numbers of Creeping Genital Fungus spores throughout the ship!"

Picard: "Are we in any danger, Doctor?"

Crusher: "Oh, not, not really. The disease only affects Klingons."
Next, we have the "Emergency Beam-out?" Award, going to:

Triskelion wrote: View Post


Picard: - and then you do the Picard Maneuver.
Data: You mean yawn and stretch your arm around her, sir?
Troi: I have a bad feeling about why I was asked here.
Next, we have the "Dark Future" Award, going to:

Bad Thoughts wrote: View Post

Data: With the end of net neutrality, we can no longer afford to stream from Netflix. All we can get are blob animations.
Picard: Which means I'll actually have to talk to Beverly afterward.
Data: At least you do not have to hear stories of Tasha's troubled youth or her awkward moralizing about drugs.
Next, we have the "Innovative Solutions" Award, going to:

Jonas Grumby wrote: View Post


Riker: "I must say, Captain, I'm very impressed with your new crew evaluation procedures."
Picard: Thank you, Number One. Now, Ensign, you've done very well in the question-and-answer and talent portions of the evaluation."
Riker: "Nice song, by the way!"
Picard: "Indeed! And now it's time to move on to the swimsuit competition!"
Great Photoshops this week! So wonderful, couldn't choose so they're all winners!

T'Girl wrote: View Post


Picard: "What have you discovered Data?"

Data: "Sir, these lights keep blinking out of sequence."

Picard: "Well get them to blink in sequence."
Armored Saint wrote: View Post

Worf, son of Moog
Nerys Myk wrote: View Post


PICARD: Well?

DATA: Call Geordi. I am not getting my positronic posterior anywhere near that mess!



Finn wrote: View Post


First Officer's Log. I have to introduce the Captain to what we consider a hot tea back in Valdez. This is lukewarm!


bbjeg wrote: View Post

Crusher: And when Wesley finally came home, he had a black eye. Do you have any idea who would do something like this?
Picard: I don't know. I haven't even seen him since I ordered Worf to keep him off my bridge.
Crusher: Well he won't tell me.
Worf: And if he knows what's best for him, he'll keep it that way.










Enjoy!
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Old January 26 2014, 02:45 AM   #2
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Re: TNG Caption This! 343: Proper Procedures



Wesley (knocking on door): Hello? Anyone in there? Look, they told me "Liquor up front, poker in the rear." Isn't this what they meant?



Troi: It's good to be the captain!



Picard: Computer, perhaps I should have been more specific when I asked for the nearest red light district.
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Old January 26 2014, 02:47 AM   #3
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Re: TNG Caption This! 343: Proper Procedures



Crusher: (From other side of the door) Hello? Anyone in there? Isn't the poker game tonight?

Riker: Just wait 5 minutes and she'll leave.



Troi: Yes! Picard and Riker are gone! I'm in command!

Worf: (thinking) At least she's not at the helm...



Picard: That's never happened when I said "Red Alert" before...



Riker: Anybody know why we beamed down to this planet?




Worf put shaving cream on Geordi and Data's Chairs to get even with them about not supporting his request to have a chair put in at the Tactical station.
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Old January 26 2014, 03:01 AM   #4
Armored Saint
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Re: TNG Caption This! 343: Proper Procedures

TFTW

BURTON: Well, Rod Roddenberry again forgot to add chlorine in the pool!


WORF (about the fourth card his hand): Q!!!
GEORDI, DATA, RIKER: WHERE IS HE?


WORF: Nice teeth!
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Old January 26 2014, 03:08 AM   #5
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Re: TNG Caption This! 343: Proper Procedures



DATA: It's the cops! Quick, everyone get out your Bibles!



WORF: No, your farts do not smell of roses.



PICARD: Okay, we're in the middle of a super nova. Maybe Conn isn't the right spot for you, Worf.



SPINER: They're gonna greenscreen something cool up there, right?



News of Troi and Riker's bridge sexcapdes spread quickly.
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Old January 26 2014, 03:16 AM   #6
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Re: TNG Caption This! 343: Proper Procedures



Everyone expected Beverly's straight flush to be odious to say the least



Little did she know, that Worf was preparing to kill her



Picard: Aww dammit, not Riker's crimson force field nonsense again



Data: That is one very big blank screen behind us



Geordi: My readings indicate that no one else is on the bridge right now

Data: Mine too, must be a computer malfunction
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Old January 26 2014, 03:28 AM   #7
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Re: TNG Caption This! 343: Proper Procedures



Data: "You're right, Commander, those doors are filthy!"
Worf: "Just bet, dammit!"



Marina: "They're actually paying me for this."



Worf: "We are now at Red Alert."
Picard: "Uh, yes, thank you Mr. Worf."



LaForge: "Uh, Data, I don't this is what the captain meant when he gave us standing orders."
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Old January 26 2014, 03:41 AM   #8
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Re: TNG Caption This! 343: Proper Procedures

Nerys Myk wrote: View Post


SPINER: They're gonna greenscreen something cool up there, right?
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Old January 26 2014, 03:47 AM   #9
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Re: TNG Caption This! 343: Proper Procedures


Frakes: Ok, the UFO is hanging from the ceiling, and the ghost image of Chief Cochise is on the door. We pretend to be surprised by them during the card game, send the video into Syfy, and I get a "reality" show between Destination Truth and Fact or Faked.
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Old January 26 2014, 03:50 AM   #10
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Re: TNG Caption This! 343: Proper Procedures

TFTW, LeadHead!



Voice from other side of door: "Commander Data? Your latest shipment of marked playing cards has arrived."
Data: "Not a good time!"




Worf: "Counselor...?"
Troi: "Sorry, Worf, I can't help it! I'm picking up empathic impressions of Andy Powell and Alyssa Ogawa in bed together. And she's a giggler!"




Worf: "I'm sorry, Captain, I don't know where I went wrong. The manual clearly states that replacement light panels should have a color rating of 'natural sunlight'!"
Picard: "Not when you buy them on Vulcan!"




Riker: "So, tell me again, Mr. Data, how much did you pay for these resort tickets?"




Data: "I cannot find an 'Off' switch over here, either."
LaForge: "Well, we've got to do something! There's no way I can do another eight-hour shift with these chairs set on 'Vibrate'!"
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Old January 26 2014, 04:39 AM   #11
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Re: TNG Caption This! 343: Proper Procedures

Thanks for the win, Leadhead


Data: If we keep pushing buttons in a stylized manner, Armored Saint might photoshop Yamaha DX-7s in place of these consoles.
Laforge: I'm more worried about what everyone else will do. You already look like Kraftwerk's Florian Schneider. Nerys Myk might make me look like Grace Jones.


Riker: Data, you said this planet would look like Vasquez Rocks.
Yar: I'd rather fall into a tar pit than be seen on this cheesy planet.


Bad Thoughts, age 17: I could fall in love with that smile.
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Old January 26 2014, 04:40 AM   #12
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Re: TNG Caption This! 343: Proper Procedures

Thanks for the Log win



Riker: I wonder what Beverly and the Captain is doing in there




What we would have seen if Riker was in Geordi's place in The Next Phase.
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Old January 26 2014, 05:11 AM   #13
Armored Saint
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Re: TNG Caption This! 343: Proper Procedures


GEORDI: Wait, these are flippers, not our consoles!
DATA: Fascinating, we are not on the Enterprise brige, but into a pinball machine.
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Old January 26 2014, 06:23 AM   #14
Nerys Myk
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Re: TNG Caption This! 343: Proper Procedures



DATA: Who is the tall, dark stranger there?

RIKER: Maverick is the name. Ridin' the trail to who knows where. Luck is his companion. Gamblin' is his game.
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Old January 26 2014, 07:17 AM   #15
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Re: TNG Caption This! 343: Proper Procedures



Data: Commander, as this is the 9th time we've been distracted by a mysterious noise at the door, I have run a statistical breakdown. Each time we turn, Geordi has won the hand. I am beginning to think those two events are not random.



Worf: Counselor, you've been stuck like that for the past 30 minutes. I do not believe the Captain and Commander are simply "going to get the gift they got you for your birthday weeks ago."

Troi: I'm sure it's just that the weight of the 300 tons of chocolate they got me is slowing them down.

Worf: Yes, continue to believe that...



Captain's Log: My mother always told me my future was so bright, I'd have to wear shades. After staring at this temporal anomaly, I am being to believe she meant that literally.



Riker: Analysis Mr. LaForge

Geordi: I believe the sky is still rendering, sir.



Geordi: When the Captain said, "You two stay behind and defend us against the Romulan fleet, we'll just go and make sure the escape pods are functioning properly," you don't think the Captain ditched us, do you?

Data: Due to the fact that every escape pod on the ship has launched, I am inclined to believe that it is the case.
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