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Go Back   The Trek BBS > Star Trek TV Series > Star Trek - Original Series

Star Trek - Original Series The one that started it all...

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Old December 26 2013, 07:05 PM   #16
Noname Given
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Re: TOS Caption Contest #280: The Ultimate Caption



Commodore Wesley: "Dammit Jim! you guys totally side-swipped my port nacelle! Twenty-Third century political correctness aside, those Asian drivers are ALWAYS the same!"
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Old December 26 2013, 07:18 PM   #17
Armored Saint
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Re: TOS Caption Contest #280: The Ultimate Caption


WESLEY: Jim, why the hell didn't you tell me about this virus? Don't you see my bridge officers currently doing anal toying?
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Old December 26 2013, 08:18 PM   #18
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Re: TOS Caption Contest #280: The Ultimate Caption

Noname Given wrote: View Post


Commodore Wesley: "Dammit Jim! you guys totally side-swipped my port nacelle! Twenty-Third century political correctness aside, those Asian drivers are ALWAYS the same!"
I'll take PC over race jokes any day.
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Old December 26 2013, 10:47 PM   #19
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Re: TOS Caption Contest #280: The Ultimate Caption

Jonas Grumby wrote: View Post


De: "Say, Bill, isn't that your Vette?"
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Old December 27 2013, 12:44 AM   #20
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Re: TOS Caption Contest #280: The Ultimate Caption


Spock: Jim, I do not believe your "Condescending Back Rub Kirk" meme will catch on.
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Old December 27 2013, 04:00 AM   #21
Armored Saint
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Re: TOS Caption Contest #280: The Ultimate Caption


CHEKOV: Aaaah, Tetris, what a great Russian invention!


MCCOY (OS): This Madame Tussauds Museum must be ruled by a green-blooded hobgoblin.
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Old December 27 2013, 03:21 PM   #22
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Re: TOS Caption Contest #280: The Ultimate Caption


Sulu: It's a temporal anomaly leading to an alternative timeline.
Kirk: The one where my girlfriend lives but Hitler wins?
Sulu: No.
Kirk: The one there are no humpback whales to communicate with an ancient alien space probe?
Sulu: No.
Kirk: The one where aliens suck on the brains of San Franciscans around the turn-of-the-century?
Sulu: No.
Kirk: The one where Worf gets knocked on the head and loses the Bat'leth competition?
Sulu: No.
Kirk: The one where Cochrane's warp ship is destroyed by cybernetic organisms from the Delta Quadrant?
Sulu: No.
Kirk: The one where Archer fails to stop Earth from being destroyed by something that looks like a spinning Death Star?
Sulu: No.
Kirk: Then which one?
Sulu: The one where you don't wear a girdle and Spock, not you, makes out with Uhura.
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Old December 27 2013, 03:39 PM   #23
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Re: TOS Caption Contest #280: The Ultimate Caption



MCCOY: I don't like turbolifts. They make me nervous. Going up and down and sideways isn't natural!

KIRK: This technophobe thing is getting out of hand, Bones.
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Old December 28 2013, 05:33 AM   #24
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Re: TOS Caption Contest #280: The Ultimate Caption



Wesley: I swear I'll destroy my own ship rather than let this virus get loose! It's making all my crewmen do the Hokey Pokey!
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Old December 28 2013, 03:57 PM   #25
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Re: TOS Caption Contest #280: The Ultimate Caption



WESLEY: This is the same stock footage from when you blew up the DY-class ship! You couldn't even matte me into an original shot?
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Old December 28 2013, 05:20 PM   #26
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Re: TOS Caption Contest #280: The Ultimate Caption



"Hi there, I'm Bob Wesley for the Federation Express Card. Don't leave the bridge without it!"
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Old December 28 2013, 07:44 PM   #27
Jonas Grumby
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Re: TOS Caption Contest #280: The Ultimate Caption



Wesley: "'How do I like my new ship', Jim? I can't find the liquor cabinet in my quarters! Where is it in your cabin?"
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Old December 28 2013, 08:50 PM   #28
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Re: TOS Caption Contest #280: The Ultimate Caption


BONES: Jim, would you mind if I begin to give some treatments to the two kids in charge of piloting this ship?
KIRK: Treatments? They're sicks?
BONES: No, BUT I'M GETTING SICK OF HEARING THEIR VOICES! Nasonex for Lieutenant Stuffy-Nose and Tennessee whiskey for Ensign Russian-Falsetto!
SPOCK: Illogical, they will not stay long enough on this ship to allow us to see some results.
KIRK: Yeah, they never realised they have VIP access to hidden cameras, I doubt they're promised to long careers on the Enterprise.
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Old December 30 2013, 07:40 AM   #29
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Re: TOS Caption Contest #280: The Ultimate Caption



Kelley: ... and that's what syphilis will do to you.
Shatner: So, kids, take it from Captain Kirk: practice safe sex.
Nimoy (thinking): I need to fire my agent.



Sulu: "Rigel Left". Wait a minute, where'd it go?!



Chekov: Found it sir! According to this deck plan, our only bathroom is on Deck 18!



Wesley: Jim, we're starting to sober up over here! I need you to beam over 100 more litres of Mr. Scott's moonshine, pronto!



Kirk: I believe that wraps up this mission to every last detail.
McCoy: What about the security team you left on the planet before we warped away?
Kirk: ... except for that one.



Chekov (thinking): Vhat do they mean, I never make keptin?!



Crazy Bob: So come to Crazy Bob's for all your used spaceship needs! With prices this low, you'll think I looked directly at a Medusan!!
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Old December 30 2013, 03:28 PM   #30
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Re: TOS Caption Contest #280: The Ultimate Caption

Avro Arrow wrote: View Post




Chekov: Found it sir! According to this deck plan, our only bathroom is on Deck 18!
McCoy: What's wrong, Jim?
Kirk: I know that one. It's a ladies' room.
Sulu: Sir, someone's peeing out the airlock!
Kirk: Must be from Engineering. At least someone's thinking creatively. Bones, you'd better stand by with a frostbite kit.
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