RSS iconTwitter iconFacebook icon

The Trek BBS title image

The Trek BBS statistics

Threads: 141,571
Posts: 5,514,396
Members: 25,150
Currently online: 542
Newest member: kingkane

TrekToday headlines

Two New Starships Collection Ships
By: T'Bonz on Dec 26

Captain Kirk’s Boldest Missions
By: T'Bonz on Dec 25

Trek Paper Clips
By: T'Bonz on Dec 24

Sargent Passes
By: T'Bonz on Dec 23

QMx Trek Insignia Badges
By: T'Bonz on Dec 23

And The New Director Of Star Trek 3 Is…
By: T'Bonz on Dec 23

TV Alert: Pine On Tonight Show
By: T'Bonz on Dec 22

Retro Review: The Emperor’s New Cloak
By: Michelle on Dec 20

Star Trek Opera
By: T'Bonz on Dec 19

New Abrams Project
By: T'Bonz on Dec 18


Welcome! The Trek BBS is the number one place to chat about Star Trek with like-minded fans. Please login to see our full range of forums as well as the ability to send and receive private messages, track your favourite topics and of course join in the discussions.

If you are a new visitor, join us for free. If you are an existing member please login below. Note: for members who joined under our old messageboard system, please login with your display name not your login name.


Go Back   The Trek BBS > Star Trek TV Series > The Next Generation

The Next Generation All Good Things come to an end...but not here.

Reply
 
Thread Tools
Old December 4 2013, 04:49 AM   #16
Santa Kang
Fleet Admiral
 
Santa Kang's Avatar
 
Location: North Pole,Qo'noS
Re: TNG Caption This! 335: Sandstorm



RIKER: Okay, maybe the "no shop talk" rule wasn't a good one.
__________________
Nerys Myk
Santa Kang is offline   Reply With Quote
Old December 4 2013, 06:41 AM   #17
bountifulboxesjeg
Vice Admiral
 
bountifulboxesjeg's Avatar
 
Location: bbjeg
Re: TNG Caption This! 335: Sandstorm


Beverly: This is an intervention Riker, about how you sit down.

Beverly's personal log: I picked up Betazoid DNA. Troi and I discussed the romantic dinner Riker planned earlier today. She thought he'd finally pop the question. Dating for over several years have finally taken it's toll.


Picard: ...and basically you let everyone else do the work for you.
bountifulboxesjeg is offline   Reply With Quote
Old December 4 2013, 09:49 AM   #18
Armored Saint
Fleet Captain
 
Armored Saint's Avatar
 
Location: Quebec City
Re: TNG Caption This! 335: Sandstorm


Crusher: Commander Riker just passed out, but he had time to say "Lieutenant Einhorn is a man".


Uncle Worf: Children, are you saying that bad bad mister Q is just behind me?


Data: Commander, you can stop to hide. Geordi has acces to all DNA files on his visor. You did not impregnated any women on this mining station.
Geordi: Nevermind, I'd forgot to look for Hortas. In fact, you're the father of a lot of kids on this mining station.
Armored Saint is offline   Reply With Quote
Old December 4 2013, 01:24 PM   #19
Merry Christmas
Vice Admiral
 
Merry Christmas's Avatar
 
Location: tantalizing t'girl's techno temenos
Re: TNG Caption This! 335: Sandstorm



Picard: "...and then I told the Cardassian Commander: 'Tell it to the hand."


Merry Christmas is offline   Reply With Quote
Old December 4 2013, 03:36 PM   #20
Santa Kang
Fleet Admiral
 
Santa Kang's Avatar
 
Location: North Pole,Qo'noS
Re: TNG Caption This! 335: Sandstorm



PICARD: And as always, an excellent manicure is essential.
__________________
Nerys Myk

Last edited by Santa Kang; December 5 2013 at 04:23 AM.
Santa Kang is offline   Reply With Quote
Old December 4 2013, 07:01 PM   #21
Merlanthe
Commander
 
Merlanthe's Avatar
 
Re: TNG Caption This! 335: Sandstorm



PICARD: Did i ever tell you about the first time i met your mother?

WESLEY: No?

PICARD: I was just walking along minding my own buissness when i saw this beautiful woman, your mother, and i thought to myself i would like to see her naked.

WESLEY: Err...

PICARD: And then all her clothes suddenly fell off.

WESLEY: All her...clothes fell off?

PICARD: Yes, and she was scrabbling around trying to get them back on again, but even before she could get her knickers on, i had seen everything.

WESLEY: Her clothes just fell off?

PICARD: Yes and i saw everythi.....she is standing behind me isnt she?
__________________
A hoarde of flying fizzy bees are coming to eat your dreams...

Last edited by Merlanthe; December 4 2013 at 10:46 PM.
Merlanthe is offline   Reply With Quote
Old December 4 2013, 07:06 PM   #22
Armored Saint
Fleet Captain
 
Armored Saint's Avatar
 
Location: Quebec City
Re: TNG Caption This! 335: Sandstorm


Picard:...and then if she says yes, and only if she says yes, you can enter your little shuttlecraft in her little shuttleblay...
Beverly:I think I will synthetise a new shuttle drone for tonight.
Armored Saint is offline   Reply With Quote
Old December 4 2013, 08:11 PM   #23
Armored Saint
Fleet Captain
 
Armored Saint's Avatar
 
Location: Quebec City
Re: TNG Caption This! 335: Sandstorm


Picard: Touchscreen is perfect fort our next step: officers editing. Look, I take the cool irish engineer and I split him. I obtain a cool blind engineer and a cool Irish engineer.
Wesley: Can we modify our captain aspect?
Picard: Yes, I change his shirt color to red. Oh, that's a kind of weird, he becomes french and a new pure American dude is created. We prefer a more classy captain, so I absorb this japanese officer from California...good, he's still from France, but he's totally British now.
Wesley: Wigs are no more cool...
Picard: Ok, I remove his one and I put it as a beard to the Yankee...oh he's now the bridge Casanova.
Wesley: It's no more logical to have the first Vulcan officer of Starfleet.
Picard: Yeah, splitting and modernizing...we have now the first android and the first Klingon..ah..this baldric is so ugly...we beautify it...strange effect, our Klingon has now the Vulcan severity.
Wesley: Can we put the half-human/half-thelepathic alien factor to the secretary?
Beverly: Can we modernize this woman function?
Picard: Yes and yes, she's now empath and works in psychology and counselling.
Wesley: What's on this corner?
Picard: Oh, we needs to stabilize some of this new officers...especially the Klingon...
Beverly: What if we give him the doctor's grumpiness.
Picard: Excellent, our doctor is now a sweet MILF.
Wesley: The Klingon and the blind guy still need some stabilization.
Picard: No problem, I absorb what remains of the Japanese helmsman...oh I also take his Russian chauvinistic friend...
Wesley: So, they're no more an engineer and a warrior?
Picard: No, the engineer will stay non-white and the warrior will stay Russian and chauvinistic, but the will be at helm before the maturation.
Wesley: Maturation?
Picard: Some of these changes will not be effective right now. We're allowed to have an exception...I will take the MILF for the first season...so she will be out of action for the second.
Armored Saint is offline   Reply With Quote
Old December 4 2013, 10:57 PM   #24
Merlanthe
Commander
 
Merlanthe's Avatar
 
Re: TNG Caption This! 335: Sandstorm

Here is the longer version.



PICARD: Did i ever tell you about the first time i met your mother?

WESLEY: No?

PICARD: I was just walking along minding my own bussiness when i saw this beautiful woman, your mother, and i thought to myself i would like to see her naked.

WESLEY: Err...

PICARD: And then all her clothes suddenly fell off.

WESLEY: All her...clothes fell off?

PICARD: Yes, and she was scrabbling around trying to get them back on again, but even before she could get her knickers on, i had seen everything.

WESLEY: All of her clothes just fell off?

PICARD: Yes and i saw everything.

WESLEY: But why did her clothes fall off?

PICARD: I dont know, there was a cloth eating virus loose or we encountered some space anomaly that made our wildest desires a reality or maybe she just suddenly decided to get naked. The important thing here is that i saw everything.

WESLEY: ...

PICARD: ...she has been stood right behind me the whole time hasnt she?
__________________
A hoarde of flying fizzy bees are coming to eat your dreams...
Merlanthe is offline   Reply With Quote
Old December 5 2013, 04:06 AM   #25
DecktheThralls
Rear Admiral
 
DecktheThralls's Avatar
 
Location: Triskelion
Re: TNG Caption This! 335: Sandstorm



Picard: There is no greater challenge than the study of philosophy.
Wesley: But George Carlin won't be in my Starfleet exams.
Picard: The important things never will be. Anyone can be trained in the mechanics of piloting a starship.
Wesley: But Starfleet Academy -
Picard: It takes more. Open your mind to the past. Art, history, philosophy. And all this may mean something.
Wesley: Isn't an anthropomorphized cosmology rather humancentric, sir?
Picard: I can't do this. Back to PE class with you.

Last edited by DecktheThralls; December 5 2013 at 05:13 AM.
DecktheThralls is offline   Reply With Quote
Old December 7 2013, 04:25 AM   #26
Honorable Ensign
Commander
 
Re: TNG Caption This! 335: Sandstorm


In the future, it was customary to have a party to celebrate getting a new piece of furniture.

That didn't mean it was fun.


Dr. Crusher: That's odd, I'm not getting any readings...oh wait, this unlocks my car.


Picard: One day lad, this will all be yours.
Wesley: The Trek BBS forums?
Picard: ...no, not the forums...
__________________
I don't care if I'm apathetic.
Honorable Ensign is offline   Reply With Quote
Old December 7 2013, 04:40 AM   #27
Santa Kang
Fleet Admiral
 
Santa Kang's Avatar
 
Location: North Pole,Qo'noS
Re: TNG Caption This! 335: Sandstorm



WES: I've heard the women on Draylax have... three.

PICARD: Yeah, it's true.

WES:You know that firsthand?

PICARD: Firsthand, secondhand, thirdhand.
__________________
Nerys Myk
Santa Kang is offline   Reply With Quote
Old December 7 2013, 08:49 AM   #28
Avro Arrow
Fleet Captain
 
Avro Arrow's Avatar
 
Location: Secret Arctic Base
Re: TNG Caption This! 335: Sandstorm



Riker: So it's decided. At 0400, Data will shut down internal comms, I'll override security from the bridge, and Worf will go into Picard's quarters and finish him off. We'll finally be free of that miserable, petty old tyrant!

Picard (O/S): Uh, Number One? I'm just in the next room. I can hear you.

Riker: I think the captain suspects something! We'd better make it 0200.

Picard (O/S): <sigh>



Crusher: Crusher to bridge! I've found Commander Riker! He's dead, and it looks like foul play was involved. I recommend we contact SCIS.

Picard (over comm): Sorry, Doctor, but Paramount never actually made that spin-off.



Worf: I don't care, Q! You should have gone before we left!



Wesley: What's this button labelled "Electrify Ops" do?

Picard: Ah, yes, that. Press it, and then observe Mr. Data there...



Riker: I can't read this alien text. What do the labels on these barrels say?

Data: I believe the translation is: "Warning: Radioactive waste. Extremely hazardous."

Riker: Ah. That would explain the intense nausea, the searing pain, and my red, glowing skin.

Data: Yes, sir. Also, I believe that may be one of your testicles on the floor over there.
Avro Arrow is offline   Reply With Quote
Old December 8 2013, 05:24 AM   #29
Lead-Nosed Reindeer
LeadHead's First Officer
 
Lead-Nosed Reindeer's Avatar
 
Location: Wouldn't you like to know?
Re: TNG Caption This! 335: Sandstorm

New Contest!
__________________
Check out the Caption contests in the TOS, TNG and Movies I-X forums!
Lead-Nosed Reindeer is offline   Reply With Quote
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump



All times are GMT +1. The time now is 03:58 PM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.6
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
FireFox 2+ or Internet Explorer 7+ highly recommended.