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Old October 14 2013, 03:54 AM   #31
Hound of UIster
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Re: Lost In The Infinite Saddness

I know people who did exactly that. It worked well for them. I guess it's one side of the perspective you could take into consideration.
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Old October 14 2013, 04:27 AM   #32
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Re: Lost In The Infinite Saddness

So they were responsible for their family's welfare in some way, their family who they loved despite the burden this placed on their life and then one day they said fuck it and "got rid of it"?

That makes them a jerk. OR it makes them someone who burned out real bad, cracked it and ran away. The advice in this thread is about how not to be the person who burned out, but about how to think about coping strategies for burdens.

If the OP was posting about an utterly toxic situation where there was no love I would say "getting rid of it" would be worth looking at. But that has yet to be indicated.
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Old October 14 2013, 07:14 AM   #33
DecktheThralls
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Re: Lost In The Infinite Saddness

I was just perusing a completely unrelated site, where someone was asking how to deal with an intrusive ex.

Several people replied "baseball bat."


On other threads, people ask "How can I make money?"

People reply "Sell your body."


Other times, people ask "How do I cope with a demanding boss?"

"Tell him to take this job and shove it."


"Should I use nonlethal bean bags in my security work?"

"No, if you have any reason at all to aim a gun at someone, blow them away."



I think these helpful sixth graders do the internet a great service.
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Old October 14 2013, 07:23 AM   #34
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Re: Lost In The Infinite Saddness

Don't be silly. Everything is in black and white, and all of your problems can be easily answered with a "yes" or a "no."
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Old October 14 2013, 08:01 AM   #35
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Re: Lost In The Infinite Saddness

You aren't alone, Rita, ignore these jackasses, if you feel comfortable enough to talk about it, pm me, i have an open ear.
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Old October 14 2013, 12:59 PM   #36
JarodRussell
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Re: Lost In The Infinite Saddness

Let's phrase is differently then.

If you have a responsibility (which is, for example, having to take care of someone (like parents, siblings or children), then you have to get your shit together. Because it's not about you. If you find an alternative, so that someone else takes over the responsibility, take that opportunity.

If there are no responsibilities to whatever depresses you, you can (and in my opinion should) walk away. It's your life after all, and you only have one of it (unless the "What Happens After Death" discussion thread takes a different turn ), and in that case nobody has the right to ruin it for you.
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Old October 14 2013, 07:29 PM   #37
DecktheThralls
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Re: Lost In The Infinite Saddness

There are also concepts known as "negotiation" and "distancing". Helpful in obtaining results somewhere between martyrdom and heroism.

Either/Or is one way of looking at things - but only one way, and there are many. When it comes to family, quick answers are not often enough.
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Old October 14 2013, 07:33 PM   #38
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Re: Lost In The Infinite Saddness

JarodRussell wrote: View Post
Let's phrase is differently then.

If you have a responsibility (which is, for example, having to take care of someone (like parents, siblings or children), then you have to get your shit together. Because it's not about you. If you find an alternative, so that someone else takes over the responsibility, take that opportunity.

If there are no responsibilities to whatever depresses you, you can (and in my opinion should) walk away. It's your life after all, and you only have one of it (unless the "What Happens After Death" discussion thread takes a different turn ), and in that case nobody has the right to ruin it for you.
Perhaps you should abstain from giving advice, period.
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Old October 14 2013, 08:09 PM   #39
JarodRussell
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Re: Lost In The Infinite Saddness

Well, you don't have to follow it if you disagree with it, do you? Everyone is responsible for themselves.
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Old October 14 2013, 11:16 PM   #40
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Re: Lost In The Infinite Saddness

Hoiw very Randian of you.
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Old October 15 2013, 11:40 AM   #41
mickmike
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Re: Lost In The Infinite Saddness

Hey Rita,

I think finding yourself a good counsellor and support network are key to helping you get through what happening for you at the moment. You have the BBS which is one great support network, but have you though about looking into a support group in RL? There are plenty out there and hopefully there is one that might deal with type of situation you are in at the moment.

In regards to counselling, having been myself for a number of years i can safely say it does a world of good. Whilst it may not solve all your problems, it can be great just having time dedicated to YOU so you can get things of your chest. I found talking about it and externalising what was going on for me helped me put things in perspective. It might do the same for you

I would also highly recommend treating yourself when you have the opportunity. Evene if it's something as simple as buying your favourite biscuits when you are at the supermarket.

Most important of all be kind to yourself. If you have trouble doing that, i've lurked on this board long enough to know there are many, many people who are willing and able to help you with that

Last edited by mickmike; October 15 2013 at 11:40 AM. Reason: i tried to do a smiley face but i put an o in for the nose and it became an embarrassed face
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Old October 15 2013, 11:56 AM   #42
Australis
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Re: Lost In The Infinite Saddness

Rita, we are all blown about by storms and winds, some favourable, some harsh. The best you can do is find the direction you want to go, and if that means facing into the wind, then face into the wind, knowing, knowing, this will nit last forever, and move against it, knowing that you can push against whatever comes at you.

Good luck.
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