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Go Back   The Trek BBS > Star Trek TV Series > Star Trek - Original Series

Star Trek - Original Series The one that started it all...

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Old September 2 2013, 11:31 AM   #31
DecktheThralls
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Re: TOS Caption Contest #276: Balance of Captions



Kirk: Was that a Gorn??
Scotty: No sir, that's the fasten seat belts sign.
Kirk: How are you coming along on installing the seat belts Mister Scott?
Scotty: Any day now, sir. Any day.
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Old September 6 2013, 02:02 AM   #32
JirinPanthosa
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Re: TOS Caption Contest #276: Balance of Captions



KIRK: Have fun kids, but not too much fun. It'd be crazy to try to raise children on a starship exploring deep space. Heh heh, just kidding.



KIRK: Captain to Bridge. It's the 23rd century, why are we still communicating with the intercom from a 1990s apartment building?



Kirk and Spock catch each others' eyes on the bridge, and think whistfully of what could have been, if only they weren't coworkers.



UHURA: Aren't you scared?
SULU: No.
UHURA: Why?
SULU: Kirk is about to talk the bad guy into blowing up his whole invasion fleet.
(BOOM)
UHURA: How the f*** does he do that?!



A rare clip from the never-aired season three episode, 'Spock Does Inventory'.
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Old September 6 2013, 02:14 AM   #33
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Re: TOS Caption Contest #276: Balance of Captions

JirinPanthosa wrote: View Post



KIRK: Captain to Bridge. It's the 23rd century, why are we still communicating with the intercom from a 1990s apartment building?
"Hello, this is Carlton your doorman"
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Old September 6 2013, 02:22 AM   #34
Jonas Grumby
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Re: TOS Caption Contest #276: Balance of Captions



Spock: "You said you'd relieve me at 04:30 hours. It is not yet 04:30 hours. In all fairness, this chair is mine for another twenty-three minutes."
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Old September 6 2013, 03:06 AM   #35
Santa Kang
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Re: TOS Caption Contest #276: Balance of Captions



KIRK: I thought you said you had no ambitions for command.

SPOCK: I lied.

KIRK: I thought Vulcans couldn't lie.

SPOCK: Lied about that, too.
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Old September 6 2013, 03:12 AM   #36
Avro Arrow
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Re: TOS Caption Contest #276: Balance of Captions



Kirk (to Martine): So... what are you doing after the ceremony?



Kirk: So you're telling me we can only get the party size in Hawaiian?

Scott: Pineapple? Borgus frat!




Spock: You are not getting the chair back, Captain. Please do not make me press this button labelled "trap door".



Sulu (thinking): Uhura's really focused on her duties. I'm impressed. This cross-training program is working out really well. I think I'll recommend to the captain that she be promoted permanently to chief navigator.
Uhura (thinking): How the hell do I turn off this damn starfield screensaver?!?



Stiles: Sir, we're kind of busy here...
Spock: Just a couple more, lieutenant. What about 8 down: seven letters, "a flower whose name was derived from a word meaning 'tobacco'"...
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Old September 6 2013, 08:32 AM   #37
DecktheThralls
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Re: TOS Caption Contest #276: Balance of Captions



Crewman: I'll have an Altair sandwich with ham and cheese.
Spock: One ham and cheese sandwich.
Crewman: Ahem.
Spock: Dye the ham green.



Spock: I don't care if it's "bumming out the crew," the Carpenters are logical.
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Old September 6 2013, 12:25 PM   #38
SnowboredShipCapt'n
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Re: TOS Caption Contest #276: Balance of Captions

Triskelion wrote: View Post



Spock: I don't care if it's "bumming out the crew," the Carpenters are logical.
Kirk: But Uhura just can't stand that one.

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Old September 6 2013, 02:23 PM   #39
The Laughing Vulcan
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Re: TOS Caption Contest #276: Balance of Captions

Avro Arrow wrote: View Post



Spock: You are not getting the chair back, Captain. Please do not make me press this button labelled "trap door".
Kirk pushes the button. Spock encounters the command chair's commode mode, with full suction.
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Old September 7 2013, 12:56 AM   #40
jazzstick
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Re: TOS Caption Contest #276: Balance of Captions



Kirk: And now to send these two on a dangerious away mission to seal the deal!




Kirk: Scotty, is there a breeze in here?
Scotty: No captain, you forgot your pants again.
Kirk: That would explain why everyone is staring at me.




Kirk: Spock, get your skinny Vulcan butt out of my chair, you're messing up my ass groove!




Sulu: She's pretty but she doesn't have a penis...



Spocky: Excellent, the new recurits from White Guy 7 are doing well on their first day in engineering...
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Old September 7 2013, 01:01 AM   #41
Santa Kang
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Re: TOS Caption Contest #276: Balance of Captions



SPOCK (writing): Get more engineers. Gold shirts don't know shit.
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Old September 7 2013, 06:29 AM   #42
DecktheThralls
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Re: TOS Caption Contest #276: Balance of Captions

BoredShipCapt'n, that was Spock's favorite! LOL



Kirk: ...And Jesus held aloft the ax and shouted "Who's with me!" And there was much whooping and tying on of Rambo headbands and spinning of monster truck tires outside the multiplexes that day. So sayeth the gospel of Saint Scorsese. Amen.

All: Amen.




Sulu: How does she get her shave so close?? Bitch.




Attention crew, this is the captain. From now on all male crew will have to pass a bi-weekly sports bra test. See Mister Scott for details. That is all.

Scotty: You dinnae have to make it personal, sir.

Last edited by DecktheThralls; September 7 2013 at 06:47 AM.
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Old September 9 2013, 01:56 AM   #43
Isis
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Re: TOS Caption Contest #276: Balance of Captions

jazzstick wrote: View Post


Kirk: Spock, get your skinny Vulcan butt out of my chair, you're messing up my ass groove!





Spock: "Captain, everyone thinks the grooved seats are wonderful at first, but I think you will thank me next time the ship hits turbulence."
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Old September 10 2013, 01:32 AM   #44
jazzstick
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Re: TOS Caption Contest #276: Balance of Captions

Isis wrote: View Post
jazzstick wrote: View Post


Kirk: Spock, get your skinny Vulcan butt out of my chair, you're messing up my ass groove!





Spock: "Captain, everyone thinks the grooved seats are wonderful at first, but I think you will thank me next time the ship hits turbulence."

ROFL
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Old September 11 2013, 02:40 AM   #45
Finngle Bells
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Re: TOS Caption Contest #276: Balance of Captions

T'Girl wrote: View Post


Riker: "Uhura, get us out of orbit."

Uhura: "Yes Sir." (veers towards planet)

Sulu: "Oh my."

fixed
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