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Voyager There's coffee in this forum!

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Old September 4 2013, 05:40 AM   #1
Captain Kathryn
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VOY Caption Contest 112: Restraints, Cows, Kimsanity!

Hi everyone!!!

First, I just want to thank Ln X again for asking me to take over the VOY caption contest! What a pleasant surprise! Wasn't expecting that!

Secondly, I have absolutely no idea how to Sticky this thread nor make the old one NOT Sticky...so please Mods help me?

Now onto the winners and the new contest! Enjoy!



bbjeg wrote: View Post

B'Elanna: Come on, it'll be fun. First, you strip...
Triskelion wrote: View Post



Alien: No hats? Where do you keep your Pepsi?
Chak: No Pepsi, Coke.
Tom: 24th century, we still can't have Coke and Pepsi in the same place.
Nerys Myk wrote: View Post

PARIS: There goes our safety record. We'll never get that plaque.
Ln X wrote: View Post

Janeway: I respect every crewmember's opinion... Just not yours Hogan.
JirinPanthosa wrote: View Post


JANEWAY: You see Neelix? There is Delta Quadrant food that isn't made from disgusting bitter ground roots.


Just want to say I thought this one was HILARIOUS.

The Laughing Vulcan wrote: View Post


Janeway: "Ribbed, for my pleasure. If you get what I mean."
----

Okay, here are the images I chose for the new contest. Have fun!









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Old September 4 2013, 08:46 AM   #2
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Re: VOY Caption Contest 112: Restraints, Cows, Kimsanity!



Chakotay: I've been waiting seven years for this moment!
Janeway: Seven years of plotting and this is your plan? Pft... amateur. Tuvok, get the flogging whip ready.



Celebrating 12 days without a workplace suicide.



Kim: I'm going to be sick.
Janeway: Ugh...
Paris: Another typical end of the month when no one has any replicator rations. Leola desert. That hedgehog can ruin anything....



When Harry told Tom he had a thing for ground beef, this wasn't what he had in mind. Just another day in the shameful existence that is Harry Kim's life.



Kim: She told me to remove my clothes!
Seven: Afterwards, Ensign Kim insisted we see you...
EMH: Thank God I'm a Doctor and not a therapist... I'd need dozens of counseling subroutines to even begin to unravel what's wrong with you.
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Old September 4 2013, 12:19 PM   #3
The Laughing Vulcan
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Re: VOY Caption Contest 112: Restraints, Cows, Kimsanity!

Thanks for the Captionated...



Chakotay: "It's the Heimlich manouevre, honest. She's choking on a bit of leola root. The hypospray is just... Nothing to see here. Dismissed!"



EMH: "I'm a hologram. I don't need the Heimlich manouevre!"



Paris: "Taste good?"
Janeway: "Mmm! Oh... wow... You know that bit in the Matrix Reloaded... in the Merovingian's restaurant?"
Harry: "TMI Captain... TMI!"




Cow thinking: "Ewww. I'm gonna need the Heimlich Manouevre after this..."



Harry: "Doc, you gotta do something. She tried to self-Heimlich!"
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Old September 4 2013, 09:20 PM   #4
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Re: VOY Caption Contest 112: Restraints, Cows, Kimsanity!



Harry: "Oh, Bessie... after all the women I've struck out with, I'm so happy to have found you! Let's go find a moon to jump over, and when we get back I'll get my clarinet and we'll make beautiful moosic together!"
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Old September 4 2013, 11:36 PM   #5
JirinPanthosa
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Re: VOY Caption Contest 112: Restraints, Cows, Kimsanity!



CHAKOTAY: Now that we're home I can finally follow through on my Maquis plan to steal a Starfleet vessel! Now back off or she gets it!



DOCTOR: What now the warp core is harmful to photonic matter? I call BS, that makes no sense! I should be able to manually fix the dilithium crystal misalignment!
KIM: Follow the script Doctor.
DOCTOR: This script is garbage!



JANEWAY: This is some good hedgehog pudding, Mr Suder! But enough eating, we need to find out what happened to Neelix.



HARRY: Oh, Seven. OH, SEVEN!



DOCTOR: What did the Captain do to you?
SEVEN: I requested a less revealing uniform.
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Old September 4 2013, 11:55 PM   #6
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Re: VOY Caption Contest 112: Restraints, Cows, Kimsanity!

Thanks for the pick!


Doctor: But I have to save the ship! I have to save the ship!
(Yeah, the original caption was good enough)


Kim: It's not like I could do any better.


Doctor: I said she's fine Kim, I would know.
Kim: FINE? Does she look fine? She needs to be nurtured, hugged, and stroked.
Seven: If you don't remove that hand off my shoulder, I'm going to assimilate my foot up your ass.
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Last edited by bbjeg; September 5 2013 at 03:31 AM.
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Old September 5 2013, 05:32 PM   #7
Ln X
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Re: VOY Caption Contest 112: Restraints, Cows, Kimsanity!


Janeway: Shoot him!
Chakotay: That's right Ensign, scared aren't you? Four years in the Academy didn't prepare you for this huh? That's right wet yourself kiddo...


B'Elanna: Not another one of the Doctor's save-the-ship fantasies!


For some reason the cream tasted like piss but to spare the feelings of the mentally addled Tuvok, everyone pretended it tasted great.


Kim had a thing for cows, he would start with the mouth and finish with the... udders.


Kim: No! I do not want that on my conscience!
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Old September 6 2013, 12:29 AM   #8
Finn
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Re: VOY Caption Contest 112: Restraints, Cows, Kimsanity!



Chakotay: Tyler! I'll tell her where you put her nude pictures from her Academy days still if you don't let me pass!

Tyler: *thinking* How the heck did he know?

Janeway: *thinking* How the heck did they know? I thought Daddy had them purged.



Captain's Log. Tom Paris has been in sickbay for the past two weeks due to a Malon fever which keeps him making wisecracks. Chakotay has expressed concerns that the doctor may snap any time.


Janeway: Neelix must have the same cooking teacher as Riker did
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Old September 6 2013, 08:54 PM   #9
jazzstick
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Re: VOY Caption Contest 112: Restraints, Cows, Kimsanity!

I think the images went bad...This makes me sad.
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Old September 7 2013, 12:42 AM   #10
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Re: VOY Caption Contest 112: Restraints, Cows, Kimsanity!

jazzstick wrote: View Post
I think the images went bad...This makes me sad.
??? You can't see the images???
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Old September 7 2013, 01:24 AM   #11
jazzstick
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Re: VOY Caption Contest 112: Restraints, Cows, Kimsanity!



Chakotay:Back up Crewman, this hypo contains the only cure for the virus causeing the captain to repeatly orgasm!

Crewman:But Commander she ordered me to keep everybody out of her ready room!



B'lanna was trying to stop the Doctor when The Diarrhea struck!




Janeway: Tuvok, this is amazing!

Tuvok: Thank you Captain, it was coming out of the ass end of something Neelix had in a cage in the back.




Harry Kim found his first beef flavored kiss most enjoyable!




Harry Kim: Doc, do you really think she can keep up with the level of Hammyness you project?
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Old September 7 2013, 07:56 AM   #12
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Re: VOY Caption Contest 112: Restraints, Cows, Kimsanity!

TFTW & New Contest, Captain Kathryn! You're off to a great start!



Chak: Come one step closer and I'll inject her with this random sperm sample!

Janes: Oh come on now. It can't be any worse than a lizard.




EMH: See Kim, this is how to get a woman to touch you. Threaten her ass with a warp core breach.

Kim: I bow to the master.




Janes: Wow, the only way this could taste better is on top of a big, black -

Kim: Captain!

Janes: - forest upside down cake.

Tom: You're too easy, Harry.




Cow: No, Harry. Why buy the cow if you can get the milk for free?

Harry: How much for just two jugs?




Kim: See where my hand is? This is an appropriate touch. An inappropriate touch is where my other hand is.

Seven: How many times does Harry have to remind you, Doctor?

EMH: My bad.
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Old September 7 2013, 10:26 PM   #13
Nerys Myk
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Re: VOY Caption Contest 112: Restraints, Cows, Kimsanity!



SECURITY: Put it down, the Captain doesn't need a shave!



JANEWAY (oc): Why don't one of you idiots grab his holo emitter?



MULGREW: How many takes is this anyway?

WANG: Thirty two.

DIRECTOR: Relax, it's not like you all will get fat or something.




HARRY: Tom had better be right about this cow turning into a beautiful princess.



KIM: Couldn't we just make the uniform larger rather than take out another rib?

EMH: Who's the doctor here?
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Old September 9 2013, 02:03 AM   #14
Captain Kathryn
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Re: VOY Caption Contest 112: Restraints, Cows, Kimsanity!

Everyone is so funny!

Just FYI: I'm gonna post the winners and a new contest on 9/10 or 9/11.
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Old September 9 2013, 06:22 AM   #15
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Re: VOY Caption Contest 112: Restraints, Cows, Kimsanity!

Congrats on taking over the contest, Captain Kathryn!



Chakotay: Kathryn, please explain to the security officer that you specifically requested that I mainline the coffee straight to your bloodstream.



The Doctor: Get off of me, the Warp Core and I ARE IN LOVE!!!



Captain's Personal Log: This is gonna go straight to my thighs.



Harry: Why do you have Lieutenants rank pips?!



Doctor: I can treat you for the nausea after I finish singing my new rap lyrics.

Seven: I'm going to die.

Harry: We both are, Seven.
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