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Go Back   The Trek BBS > Star Trek Fandom > Fan Productions

Fan Productions Creating our own Trek canon!

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Old August 9 2013, 09:29 PM   #16
CaptainSerek
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Re: Star Trek: Excalibur begins production on 1st webisode

I had a chance to watch the webisode today. It is off to a decent start. It is giving hints as to what one hopes is an excellent series. I found the quirks in the captain interesting and it will be fun to see where this goes.

I am looking forward to the full first episode and introduction of the crew.
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Old August 9 2013, 10:14 PM   #17
YJAGG
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Re: Star Trek: Excalibur begins production on 1st webisode

Not bad- but the first exchange with his ship seems odd to me that his own crew does not get him enough to humor his nursery rhyme fetish the same for the yeoman at the desk – unless she was not human how could she not of heard the early bird gets the worm (I would give this a grain of salt in the 60’s TV show but the woman Commodore shows the modern mentality)

It felt forced to have this jolly sage as a captain- who is clearly not connecting with the yeomen trying to illuminate, but that is just pacing



Nitpicking – buy some wigs for your extras or swap out the uniforms if I saw Ensign Carter walk by in the back ground one more time I was going to scream. I would expect more ship traffic around Earth and for the file footage I would of like to see the action from a flight recorder. Kill the BSG drum beats or soften them up., I realize Gabe worked on BSG, so this might be his style, but I would tone it down, also But nitpicking aside very good
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Old August 10 2013, 04:42 PM   #18
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Re: Star Trek: Excalibur begins production on 1st webisode

Definitely off to a good start. The only thing I didn't really like was the theme music. It sounded like it was from a video game. Other things that kind of stuck out in the film was that a few shots needed to be color corrected, and the editing could have been a bit faster in a few spots. The acting was good, and the ships were top-notch!
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Old August 10 2013, 05:32 PM   #19
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Re: Star Trek: Excalibur begins production on 1st webisode

Just checked out the You Tube episode. I thought it was well done. Curious to see where the story goes next.
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Old August 14 2013, 11:00 PM   #20
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Re: Star Trek: Excalibur begins production on 1st webisode

Congratulations on your first episode. I'm glad you finally got it made, and I look forward to more.
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Old August 15 2013, 03:31 AM   #21
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Re: Star Trek: Excalibur begins production on 1st webisode

Agree, congratulations on actually producing something.

My feedback:

1) The music was dreadful. Very dated and very distracting. Star Trek is much more subtle. And since you are a TOS show, on a Constitution ship, there are certain consistencies you need. Look at Farragut here.

2) The exchange between Nelson and the ship when he beams down made no sense and was really odd.

3) Then another odd exchange with the receptionist. I immediately didn't buy Nelson as a Captain.

4) When the Admiral walks up to Nelson, he acts like a parent looking at a little child. It was totally out of character with how an Admiral would act. I had no respect for this guy. Look at Secret Voyage for how to view an officer of Flag rank. Or P2's Admiral. Both have authority and presence.

At this point I think you just need to get a professional story editor who will objectively look at your story and dialogue. Because, while Captain Atkin points out all the valid technical issues, I just felt the script needed lots of work.

And being that I always tell people to bring me a solution if they bring me a problem...

I will suggest Dave Galanter, a professional writer, with 5 Star Trek novels to his name, and who was my story editor on Axanar. Happy to share his info. Not sure if he will do it, but worth at least asking him.

Alec
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Old November 19 2013, 10:35 PM   #22
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Re: Star Trek: Excalibur begins production on 1st webisode

The synthesized music isn't my favoritest choice. Being that this is a fan film and being that there is no shortage of officially licensed Star Trek music out there, this original soundtrack is just lacking. (sorry)

Kerezman as the captain is obviously very comfortable in the role. And I like the location used for the majority of the webisode even if it does seem too "20th Century." But I get that it can't be helped, and it's better than shooting it in a basement. You guys outdid yourself with extras and wardrobe and I kind of love that there are still iPads in the 23rd century. Too, the greenscreen work was outstanding.

As a webisode, (and the first one at that) certainly this is an accomplishment. There's room for improvement though (the aforementioned soundtrack, audio issues) but really, from a writing perspective I would have tried to include a few more of the regular characters from the series; as it is I am assuming it will be Kerezman (and only then because I'm somewhat familiar with this production) but the noticeable lack of other characters limited the scope of the story for me.

All that said it's a solid effort and one I enjoyed. Looking forward to more!

Last edited by doubleohfive; November 19 2013 at 11:03 PM. Reason: Correcting the spelling of Joseph Kerezman's name.
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Old July 28 2014, 07:15 PM   #23
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Re: Star Trek: Excalibur's 1st webisode

Glad to hear this series is still active. Apparently, producer and star Jos Kerezman has been tweaking his first webisode and will re-release it pretty soon. Apparently he got Gabe Koerner to whip up a really lush new opening title sequence:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PReIxsh-T08

What else he may be planning to add to his vignette remains to be seen. There are some nice FX shots I've spotted on Youtube for those of you who'd like a look:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yeIZ...ipF661iE8VO5Mw

Now that we're getting about a handful of TOS-related webseries from different production companies, I hope all strive to establish their own identities and not just go for being TOS clones, though that seems to be the plan for most (Valiant seems to want a dash of DS9 drama for theirs, good on them).

When I first saw Excalibur's trailer a few years ago with the really lush fuselage texturing and Galactica/SPACE:Above and Beyond-type cinematography, I was kinda hoping Excalibur would go for a nastier, grittier type of feel in order to contrast with TOS's second season, but alas...

But good to see this series is still kicking around!!
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